luckymucklebackit

Someone on another forum posted a photoshopped picture of a Pendolino in LMS red with the gold stripes at window level, looked awesome, they could do the 11 coach sets in this livery and use the blue livery for the nine coach sets https://www.railforums.co.uk/threads/first-trenitalia-wcml-livery-branding.189399/page-2#post-4167270

J6580.jpg - If that is the up train I would expect the first class to be behind the loco, Also it would be quite unusual to have the Royal Scot formed of non airconditioned stock at that late date. Jim

I once had a French dwarf thank me profusely, make me thankful for small mercis

Plenty of cases of Bigamy still being reported!

I bought a Toyota Auris Self Charging Hybrid last year, I have been very happy with the performance, but I cannot for the life of me work out how my last car (Hyundai i40 1.6 Diesel) had an Annual road tax of £30 yet this supposidly more "green" car has an annual tax of £135 Jim

That would be a good name for a Liverpool Takeaway "You'll Never Wok Alone"

Beware of any Thai Restaurant that offers dog walking services, they spell walk differently!

Just Like An Arrow - Magnum

They have done it at last - Fort William 1 Inverness Clachnacuddin 0 Fort William have recorded their first Highland League win since 12th April 2017! Onee of the loan players from Inverness Caledonian Thistle scored! Jim

Ladies and Gentlemen - let me share the ULTIMATE groan inducing joke... A guy went into a French seafood restaurant and asked to see the dishes of the day. The waiter wheeled over a trolley with a large tank full of various species, and the man examined the dishes. "I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" said the man. "An excellent choice, they have a delicate, mild flavour." replied the waiter and called out "Gervais!" A little French chef appeared with a large knife, the waiter instructed the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip. Gervais was just about to slice at the poor squid when he noticed a tear running down its face. Gervais is touched, and admitted that he hadn't the heart to kill the squid. "Not to worry" says the waiter, and called out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke came out of the kitchen. "Sir", said the waiter, "This is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans kill that little green squid with the hairy lip!" The dishwasher wielded a huge rolling pin and was just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringed back and gave a little cry. "I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admitted, his lower lip trembling. "Well sir," said the waiter, "it just shows...... That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais, with mild green, hairy lip squid!" Well I did warn you

Boris Johnson walks into a Bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ms could you please cash this cheque for me?" Cashier: "It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?" Johnson: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Boris Johnson, the Prime Minister. Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID." Johnson: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am." Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr Johnson, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them." Johnson, "Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque." Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque." "Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?" Johnson stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue." Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Johnson. ?....

Wichita Lineman - Glen Campbell

If at first you don't succeed, cheat!

Ipomoea aquatica also known as Water Spinach - Bet you don't get a Roll with it

There was an arrangement at Keith station if two trains had to cross, the Aberdeen to Inverness train would run into the branch platform while the Inverness to Aberdeen train stopped on the main line platform, once clear the Aberdeen to Inverness train would reverse out and continue its journey Jim

Child in TIme - Deep Purple

Whats the story about that?

Emk, Emk........EMEMEMK? Monkey with a bit more finess

What do call a Judge with no thumbs? Justice Fingers I went to buy some pet bees today, I asked the man for 12 bee's but he gave me 13, I told him he had made a mistake but he said its OK, that's a freebie My mate has a stutter, he was telling me a story about his Nana, by the end we were all singing Hey Jude

Definately not a GWR Bulldog,

What’s the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom? One snatches your watch,

Still trying to work out the concept of a flavoured crust pizza, shouldn't it be, well, Pizza flavoured?

Let's Spend The Night Together - The Rolling Stones

Groan buton request at the ready Sir Ian Wilmut, the scientist who cloned Dolly the sheep successfully made a clone of himself and took it down the pub to show off. The clone goes up to the bar and shouts, "Hoi! barmaid with the big udders, get me a pint!" The clone gets his pint and swaggers across the pub, pinching women's rear ends, giving their boobs a wee jiggle and saying filthy suggestions to them on the way back to Sir Ian, who is sitting there thoroughly embarrassed. Sir Ian decides there and then to do away with his creation and leads him up to the highest building he can see and pushes it off the edge. Sir Ian gets back down to the bottom and is swiftly huckled by the police. "I suppose I'll be doing life for murder." he says, resigned to his fate. "No" the policeman says, "We're arresting you on suspicion of making an obscene clone fall."