Popular Post 2750Papyrus Posted May 19, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted May 19, 2023 (edited) Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the ." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream van hadn't come along." Edited May 20, 2023 by 2750Papyrus lost ! 1 25 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted May 19, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 19, 2023 Dang? 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 5 hours ago, 2750Papyrus said: Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the ." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream van hadn't come along." That had me laughing out loud. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Bernard Lamb Posted May 19, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted May 19, 2023 23 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernard Lamb Posted May 20, 2023 Share Posted May 20, 2023 2 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted May 20, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 20, 2023 Maybe they are supposed to be peeled first? 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Bernard Lamb Posted May 21, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted May 21, 2023 4 29 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted May 21, 2023 Share Posted May 21, 2023 1 17 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted May 21, 2023 Share Posted May 21, 2023 19 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted May 21, 2023 Share Posted May 21, 2023 1 hour ago, KeithMacdonald said: "That's our Jen, lad!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted May 21, 2023 Share Posted May 21, 2023 1 hour ago, KeithMacdonald said: I have to confess. I was staring at that for some time, wondering which one of the four legs (with the pretty shoes) is a pirate. Before I noticed there are five legs. 😀 1 2 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
aardvark Posted May 22, 2023 Share Posted May 22, 2023 We all wear woollen jumpers that are a size too small. We’re a tight-knit community. 1 1 12 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Reorte Posted May 22, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 22, 2023 10 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said: I have to confess. I was staring at that for some time, wondering which one of the four legs (with the pretty shoes) is a pirate. Before I noticed there are five legs. 😀 Aargh! (not aaaaahhhh) I'd utterly failed to get the joke until you explained it... 2 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Dagworth Posted May 22, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 22, 2023 1 2 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted May 22, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 22, 2023 A Scotsman is visiting Canada, and decides to take a nature walk with a guide. They are off in the bush for a few hours when all of a sudden there's a huge crashing among the trees which makes the Scotsman jump. 'What the hell was that??' he says. 'Oh' says the guide, 'That was a Moose'. 'A Moose?!' cries the Scotsman. 'If that was a Moose, I'd hate to see a rat!!!' 2 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted May 22, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 22, 2023 SELLING ADULT TOYS I am now proud to announce that I am selling Adult toys. I hope no one is embarrassed to ask for them. I have all kinds, sizes and styles according to your needs. Discretion is guaranteed!! PM me if you have any questions. I have everything listed below . . . . . . Zimmer frames, wheelchairs, oxygen tanks, walking stick/canes, disposable nappies etc etc. 1 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted May 22, 2023 Share Posted May 22, 2023 8 minutes ago, BoD said: SELLING ADULT TOYS I am now proud to announce that I am selling Adult toys. I hope no one is embarrassed to ask for them. I have all kinds, sizes and styles according to your needs. Discretion is guaranteed!! PM me if you have any questions. I have everything listed below . . . . . . Zimmer frames, wheelchairs, oxygen tanks, walking stick/canes, disposable nappies etc etc. 🙄🙄🙄 ...and I thought it was going to be model trains... 🤔😁👍 6 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted May 22, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 22, 2023 9 minutes ago, F-UnitMad said: 🙄🙄🙄 ...and I thought it was going to be model trains... 🤔😁👍 What a dirty mind you have. 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Bernard Lamb Posted May 22, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted May 22, 2023 1 27 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted May 22, 2023 Share Posted May 22, 2023 3 hours ago, F-UnitMad said: 🙄🙄🙄 ...and I thought it was going to be model trains... 🤔😁👍 3 hours ago, BoD said: What a dirty mind you have. Depends on how well weathered they are. 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted May 23, 2023 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted May 23, 2023 1 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted May 23, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 23, 2023 As a bespectacled youth, I decided to show a new wannabe girlfriend that I didn't need specs, I went to the local country park and part nailed a six inch nail into a flowering chestnut tree trunk. During the date, I took her to the park and we sat on a bench overlooking the chestnut in the far distance. I sat up and said -"isn't that a nail sticking out of that tree?" To which she said "Oooh! You 've got good eyesight! I cant see a nail!" "Oh yea!" I said, "Look, I'll show you!" And I ran over towards the tree and tripped over a cow and dislocated both shoulders. 1 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted May 23, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 23, 2023 People say the Mona Lisa was Leonardo da Vinci's best work . I thought he did a good job in Titanic . 1 10 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted May 23, 2023 Share Posted May 23, 2023 1 hour ago, Sidecar Racer said: People say the Mona Lisa was Leonardo da Vinci's best work . I thought he did a good job in Titanic . I thought Mona Lisa was by Bob Hoskins, but Roger Rabbit framed her. 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted May 24, 2023 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted May 24, 2023 Apparently you can’t use beefstew as a password… . . . . . . . It ain’t stroganoff 🫣 1 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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