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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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On 02/09/2022 at 15:43, DK123GWR said:

But why not just go somewhere local and claim it as expenses?

Because getting personal grooming done, is not supposed to be a business expense. Unless it directly generates an income, such as acting.

OK, perhaps politicians can and do act the clown!

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On 01/09/2022 at 22:32, Thorness said:

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he
asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money
from you, I'm doing community service this week.'
The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a
'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill,
the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing
community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank
you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door.
Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to
pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from
you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament
was very happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen
Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

I think it would have been the Cops as well.

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Just to even things up!

 

It seems I have spent a lifetime of mouthing mechanically, “Say thank you. Sit up straight. Use your napkin. Close your mouth when you chew. Don’t lean back in your chair.” Just when I finally got my husband squared away, the kids came along.

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11 minutes ago, J. S. Bach said:

They do not cross; offset concentric circles.

 

They look like concentric concentric circle to me.

(...but with none parallel to concentric inner/outer squares.)

 

An interesting affect relying on the eye not being able to convey the whole detailed field-of-view (before jumping to get the next central view) before the mind giving a complete picture. (The skewed squares miss directing the "Minds" internal "fill in machine / pattern generator" for live and stored images.

 

 

Kev,

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