CameronL Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 1 minute ago, Enterprisingwestern said: Since when has the area been cold and dark in June? Mike. "And in a manger warm and bright" wouldn't have the same pathos. Nor would Mary and Joe making the journey on camels and staying the night in the inn's bridal suite. They were going for humble. 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewC Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 On 01/12/2020 at 19:53, peanuts said: Today i drilled a hole in the bottom of a metal dish made a start on my Advent collander Beat you to it. In other news. Bollards to Christmas. Yes, both photos are my own. I'm a bit strange that way. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 2 hours ago, CameronL said: And on top of this in walks some little s0d banging a drum. I don’t care if he played his best for Him. I don’t think Mary would smile at him. But thats what 3am on Christmas Day is for... 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Why has Debenhams been forced to cancel its Christmas nativity play? Not enough prophet! 4 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Reorte Posted December 3, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 3, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, CameronL said: "And in a manger warm and bright" wouldn't have the same pathos. Nor would Mary and Joe making the journey on camels and staying the night in the inn's bridal suite. They were going for humble. Got to like "In the Bleak Midwinter." Admittedly I have seen pictures of snow in the Middle East but I rather suspect it's not typical weather for Bethlehem at any time of year! (hmm, just looked it up and the average number of snowy days in December there is 1, at least according to Wikipedia). Edited December 3, 2020 by Reorte 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted December 3, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 3, 2020 OTOH, it can be pretty cold at night in these desert countries even in summer, and Bethlehem is high up and exposed; they'd have been grateful for the shelter of the stable if there was the least wind, especially northeasterly. And we know it was at night because of the Star, though the Little Drummer Boy is not consistent with the silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright scenario. To be fair to Doctor Luke, he does not mention a drummer boy and in fact TTBOMK none of the accounts do. Mary gave birth in the manger, there was an ox and an ass, sheperds showed up despite mighty dread having siezed their troubled minds, though an angel had appeared to them telling them to fear not, and then we 3 kings from orient are appeared, bearing gifts they travelled afar, moor and mountain stream and fountain following yonder star, westward leading still proceeding. The next item on the agenda is Herod and the slaughter of the innocents, while the holy family leg it to Egypt despite the earlier problems that the Children of Israel had had in that part of the world. This has always seemed to me a bit unfair to the other Bethlehem parents, but I'd have done the same thing. The number of sheperds is not stated, there might have been hundreds of 'em. No drummer boys though. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 3, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 3, 2020 OUCH! 4 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 (edited) 59 minutes ago, The Johnster said: sheperds showed up despite mighty dread having siezed their troubled minds, Having completed doing their laundry. 59 minutes ago, The Johnster said: and then we 3 kings from orient are appeared, One in a taxi, one in a car, one on a scooter, blowing his hooter... To be fair, it took the Kings a bit longer to turn up, after Joesph had decided to stay in town and set up a workshop, otherwise why would Herod target kids under two for extermination? Edited December 3, 2020 by Hroth Can't spell, its clod here you know... 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 3 minutes ago, Hroth said: Having completed doing their laundry. One in a taxi, one in a car, one on a scooter, blowing his hooter... To be fair, it took the Kings a bit longer to turn up, after Joesph had decided to stay in town and set up a workshop, otherwise why would Herod target kids under two for extermination? But there's no evidence that happened and that era is very well documented. Particularly by the Romans. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herod_the_Great#New_Testament_references Not to say he was a particularly nice bloke. Back to jokes . 1 14 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 2 hours ago, The Johnster said: No drummer boys though. Apparently "The Little Drummer Boy" was first published in 1941. The message of the hymn is that no matter how poor you are, if you can do something well and do it with passion and sincerity for Christ, he will accept it as a gift. So, for The Second Coming, how about "The Little Railway Modeller?" ... Mary smiled at me Pa rum pum pum pum I installed DCC Pa rum pum pum pum I made hills with Modroc Pa rum pum pum pum I weathered all his stock Pa rum pum pum pum, Rum pum pum pum, Rum pum pum pum Then we both played trains Pa rum pum pum pum 'Til our bums went numb 4 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post Colin_McLeod Posted December 3, 2020 Author RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted December 3, 2020 23 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted December 3, 2020 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted December 3, 2020 11 hours ago, Enterprisingwestern said: Since when has the area been cold and dark in June? Mike. And here is me thinking the first Christmass was in December 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 20 minutes ago, Colin_McLeod said: And here is me thinking the first Christmas was in December Don't let the Druids hear you say that..... Julian 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 28 minutes ago, Colin_McLeod said: And here is me thinking the first Christmass was in December That was the first Noel. Photographic evidence that he was around in Roman times.... 11 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold nigb55009 Posted December 3, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 3, 2020 The Wise men and the shepherds called in for something to eat, they thought a Pret a Manger. 4 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
2750Papyrus Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 7 hours ago, Reorte said: Got to like "In the Bleak Midwinter." Admittedly I have seen pictures of snow in the Middle East but I rather suspect it's not typical weather for Bethlehem at any time of year! I love carols but I find the tune of this one depressing. In the early 70s I worked in an open-plan office who would whistle it year-round. I tried retaliating with "Summertime" but it went over his head. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post peanuts Posted December 3, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 3, 2020 A teacher gave her class of 11-year-olds an assignment: To get their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.' 'What's the moral of that story?' asked the teacher. 'Don't put all your eggs in one basket!' 'Very good,' said the teacher. Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, 'Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'.' 'That was a fine story Sarah.' Michael, do you have a story to share?' 'Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Barbara. Aunty Barbara was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. And then she killed the last Ten with her bare hands.’ ‘Good heavens’, said the horrified teacher, what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?’ ‘Stay away from Aunty Barbara when she’s pissed.’ 2 2 20 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Good to see Bernard Manning jokes getting an airing.... Although it was originally his grandad being the last soldier at Dunkirk and volunteering to stay and fight to the death in exchange for a bottle of whiskey. Then a relief column find him asleep surround by dead Nazis and take him to the last ship. Must have first heard a version of that in the 1970s. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 My friend writes songs about sewing machines. He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams. 3 6 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted December 3, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 3, 2020 (edited) GROAN!!!! Double GROAN!!!!, I just re-read it caught the last words! Edited December 3, 2020 by J. S. Bach 9 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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