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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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20 hours ago, steve1 said:

 

Any response made by the man will put him in peril o for a trip to A&E.

 

steve

 

"I thought that she could have been your identical twin".

 

mm, perhaps not.

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Bob and his wife were eating breakfast when the radio announcer said...

“We are expecting 4 inches of snow today, so you must park your cars on the EVEN numbered side of the road so the snow plough can get through”

Bobs wife gets up, goes outside and moves their car as instructed.

A week later, and again at breakfast, the radio announcer said....

“We are expecting 6 inches of snow today, so you must park your cars on the ODD numbered side of the road so the snow plough can get through”

Bobs wife duly gets up and goes outside to move the car as instructed.

A week later, and again at breakfast, the radio announcer says...

“We are expecting 8 inches of snow today, so you must park your cars.....

Before he can finish the sentence there is a power cut!

Bobs wife says “Oh dear, I don’t know which side of the road to park the car”

Bob says, in a very calm voice....

"Why don’t you just leave it in the garage?”

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14 hours ago, F-UnitMad said:

It blew a fuse from over-use.

 

Especially on this Thread. 

 

7 minutes ago, Hroth said:

But there's so many reasons to use it here, like for the camel one above...

 

Exactly. They should've fitted a heavy-duty groan button instead.

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5 minutes ago, rocor said:

 

Santa regrets promoting Elf with red green colour blindness to the position of costumier.

the-tenbury-mistletoe-festival.jpg.7e95489bf67b468ef54005864ac0a02d.jpg

 

The proper traditional Father Christmas outfit.

 

XmasPresent.jpg.b9000de45c63976d47d8f6ce1edcdffd.jpg

 

As illustrated by John Leech in the first edition of "A Christmas Carol"

 

 

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His elves have usually retained their green outfits. It seems that the story that Coco-Cola's advertising in the 30s changed the colour of his robes from green to red is a half-truth: there are plenty of earlier depictions of him in red, but Coco-Cola may have tipped the balance.

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18 minutes ago, Hroth said:

 

The proper traditional Father Christmas outfit.

 

XmasPresent.jpg.b9000de45c63976d47d8f6ce1edcdffd.jpg

 

As illustrated by John Leech in the first edition of "A Christmas Carol"

 

 

 

But that was before the age of mass marketing, after which Santa had to consider gaining extra revenue through advertising. Both the US Confection Company and Coca Cola insisted on his change of livery from green to red.

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1 minute ago, rocor said:

 

But that was before the age of mass marketing, after which Santa had to consider gaining extra revenue through advertising. Both the US Confection Company and Coca Cola insisted on his change of livery from green to red.

 

As I said total myth.

 

Coca Cola didn't use Santa for advertising until the 1930s whilst red was well established in the USA by the 1850s and in the UK at a similar time.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus

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