Steamport Southport Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 Anyway. seeing as Christmas jokes are about... 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted November 15, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 15, 2020 On 14/11/2020 at 16:28, peanuts said: Nobody seems to kidnap 90s pop acts anymore. To rectify this, I’ve taken steps. On 14/11/2020 at 17:01, The Johnster said: Count me in! "5,6,7,8..." I really hesitated to do this , as it's completely against my musical credentials, but the law of comedy set ups demanded I do this. I beg the indulgence of the courts 1 7 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted November 15, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 15, 2020 4 hours ago, CameronL said: I wonder if there will be some peculiarly Welsh challenges for the contestants. Welsh "bush tucker"? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 46 minutes ago, Ramblin Rich said: "5,6,7,8..." I really hesitated to do this , as it's completely against my musical credentials, but the law of comedy set ups demanded I do this. I beg the indulgence of the courts Hand On Your Heart......Why? 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted November 15, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 15, 2020 4 minutes ago, Hroth said: Welsh "bush tucker"? Waits for the ovine related trials........... 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
APOLLO Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 2 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 1 hour ago, Steamport Southport said: Bangor. Rough as hell. But not hard. They tend to just pick on students as they're easy targets. They would run a mile if a normal person had a go back. I was a student in Bangor so I speak from experience. The rule was "The closer the pub is to the seafront, the less welcoming it will be for English-speakers". The hostility from the locals did make for a very close community within the university. We poked the bear by doing a sponsored pub crawl for Rag Week, to raise money for charity by having a half pint in every pub in Bangor (all 33 of them, at our expense). Even the roughest pubs went quiet when 15 of us walked in and bought a round. 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Binky Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 When I was studying for my astronomy exam my tutor advised me: "You don't have to learn all the constellations to pass, just make sure you know Ursa Minor. That's the bear, minimum." 1 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 3 hours ago, CameronL said: I was a student in Bangor so I speak from experience. The rule was "The closer the pub is to the seafront, the less welcoming it will be for English-speakers". The hostility from the locals did make for a very close community within the university. We poked the bear by doing a sponsored pub crawl for Rag Week, to raise money for charity by having a half pint in every pub in Bangor (all 33 of them, at our expense). Even the roughest pubs went quiet when 15 of us walked in and bought a round. Ah. But people's perception of hard and rough are different to mine. I kept being told the Prince Madoc in Colwyn Bay was hard. Not even close. A big scummy maybe. Try an average boozer in a major city and honestly tell me that any pub in Bangor is harder than a city centre pub in say Liverpool, Glasgow, Newcastle, Manchester, etc. That's before you get to the housing estates where everyone knows everyone and strangers are seen as being something to fear as they are trying to take over your territory. Anyway. Back to the jokes. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 I also remember this flag used to always get a run out at football grounds that thought they were tough such as Galatasaray. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 A man is walking home alone late one foggy November night past a graveyard, when behind him he hears: BUMP.. . BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the road toward him. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him. FASTER... FASTER.. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...... He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping. clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP.... clappity-BUMP... on his heels, as the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket... and, The coffin stops. 1 1 11 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted November 16, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 16, 2020 1 hour ago, luckymucklebackit said: A man is walking home alone late one foggy November night past a graveyard, when behind him he hears: BUMP.. . BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the road toward him. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him. FASTER... FASTER.. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...... He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping. clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP.... clappity-BUMP... on his heels, as the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket... and, The coffin stops. Signature blank, because you don't want anyone to know it was YOU, that posted such an awful joke? 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted November 16, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 16, 2020 2 hours ago, kevinlms said: Signature blank, because you don't want anyone to know it was YOU, that posted such an awful joke? Was that even a joke?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 3 hours ago, kevinlms said: Signature blank, because you don't want anyone to know it was YOU, that posted such an awful joke? So bad the Mods have removed he groan button I see! 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 14 minutes ago, luckymucklebackit said: So bad the Mods have removed he groan button I see! Perhaps not much demand for it???? Or, maybe used too much???? Either way, it's probably a comment on the... err... comments..... Julian PS. Perhaps it got so tired, it needed a rest and went to bed? 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted November 16, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 16, 2020 6 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said: A man is walking home alone late one foggy November night past a graveyard, when behind him he hears: BUMP.. . BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the road toward him. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him. FASTER... FASTER.. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...... He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping. clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP.... clappity-BUMP... on his heels, as the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket... and, The coffin stops. Go to your room young man, and don't come back out until you've had a long, hard, think about what you've just done... 2 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam88 Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 1 hour ago, luckymucklebackit said: So bad the Mods have removed he groan button I see! How childish, I would have thought that everybody would have acted in a more groan up way. 2 4 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 16, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 16, 2020 2 hours ago, Adam88 said: How childish, I would have thought that everybody would have acted in a more groan up way. Now that does require a groan button. 2 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted November 16, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 16, 2020 10 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said: A man is walking home alone late one foggy November night past a graveyard, when behind him he hears: BUMP.. . BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the road toward him. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him. FASTER... FASTER.. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...... He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping. clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP.... clappity-BUMP... on his heels, as the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket... and, The coffin stops. GROAN!!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 21 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: Ah. But people's perception of hard and rough are different to mine. I kept being told the Prince Madoc in Colwyn Bay was hard. Not even close. A big scummy maybe. Try an average boozer in a major city and honestly tell me that any pub in Bangor is harder than a city centre pub in say Liverpool, Glasgow, Newcastle, Manchester, etc. That's before you get to the housing estates where everyone knows everyone and strangers are seen as being something to fear as they are trying to take over your territory. Anyway. Back to the jokes. why did that make ne think this 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 That's when students walk into a bar. When hard men walk into a bar.... 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted November 17, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 17, 2020 When the going gets tough, the tough go up the pub... 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted November 17, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 17, 2020 (edited) If we're doing dreadful pub/bar scenes... Star Wars... Rango... Despicable Me 2... Edited November 17, 2020 by Hroth 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post jbqfc Posted November 17, 2020 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted November 17, 2020 3 1 16 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Police chase a runway EMU (not an electric multiple unit) https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/shock-police-convoy-chase-emu-4705201 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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