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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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8 hours ago, The Johnster said:

I've got Athlete's Feet, and the athlete is welcome to them back so far as I'm concerned.  OTOH, they are the only part of me that  can be described as athletic...

 

Bad feet tend to run in my family.

 

Coat, socks, shoes gone. :fie:

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5 hours ago, Welchester said:

 

Couldn't you just return them to the shop?

Didn't get 'em from a shop.  They are reasonably useful as feet to be fair, in that they stop my legs from fraying at the ends...

 

Now, my legs, with their wobbly knees, are another story, as is the rest of me, held together iwth string and masking tape and developing all sorts of knocks and rattles; let's face it, folks, I'm clapped out!

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6 hours ago, rocor said:

 

Bad feet tend to run in my family.

 

Coat, socks, shoes gone. :fie:

 

6 hours ago, Ian Smeeton said:

Then only thing that runs in our family, is the 'Smeeton Nose'

 

Snifff!!!

 

Regards

 

Ian

 

If your nose runs and your feet smell then you've been built upside down.

 

Mike.

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I see that the new series of I'm a Nonentity, Get Me Publicity (sorry - I'm A Celebrity, Get me out of here) starts tonight - set in a castle in North Wales. I wonder if there will be some peculiarly Welsh challenges for the contestants.

 

They could all be put in a room with a Welsh Male Voice Choir, and the winner would be the last one to walk out. (The same could apply with watching episodes of Pobol y Cwm without subtitles.)

They could be challenged to find a parking space in Beaumaris on a Saturday afternoon.

They could be challenged to pronounce "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch" without covering the person they're speaking to in spit.

They could be challenged to have fun in Blaenau Ffestiniog (I know it has the railway, but what does that do? It takes you away from Blaenau Ffestiniog.)

They could even try to order a drink in English in The Nelson Pub in Bangor without ending up in A & E.

 

Can't wait.

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Or, based on personal experience, even try to speak in English, or worse, South Walian Welsh, anywhere in the vicinity of the Pen y Bont in Llanwrst, and in particular if you've just reminded them of the undisputable historical fact that the last independent Welsh prince was not their local boy Llewellyn ap Gruffud, or even his brother Dafydd who held Llewellyn's position for a few months on the run, but Ifor Bach of Senghenhydd, in Glamorgan, in South Wales.  Emnity in this part of the world goes back to the Iron Age and folk memories of wars from the Mabinogion over pigs; Longshanks and the English are just blow ins...

 

Just saying, tin hat at the ready...

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Never had any problems with "The Welsh" in any of the pubs I've frequented over the years.

 

They only do that "speaking Welsh" thing to the tourists. If you don't look touristy they don't generally bother.

 

As for Blaenau. Great little pub next to the station where all the locals drink. Ty Gorsaf I think it's called. Had a few in there over the years whilst waiting for a train or bus. Friendly as anything.

 

Bangor. Rough as hell. But not hard. They tend to just pick on students as they're easy targets. They would run a mile if a normal person had a go back.

 

 

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