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The Forum Jokes Thread

Colin_McLeod

By Colin_McLeod,
in Wheeltappers

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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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Colin_McLeod

Colin_McLeod

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Mr. Peabody, the local banker, saw his old friend Tom, an 80-year-old rancher, in town.
Tom had lost his wife the year before. Rumor had it he was marrying a 'mail order' bride.
Mr. Peabody asked Tom if the rumor was true.
Tom replied, "Yes, it is true." Mr. Peabody asked, "May I ask the age of your new bride to be?" 
Tom replied, "She'll be 21 in November." 
Mr. Peabody, being a wise man, knew the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an 80-year-old man. Mr. Peabody wanted Tom's remaining years to be happy. So he tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.
Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for a hired hand that very afternoon.
Four months later, Mr. Peabody saw Tom in town again and asked, "How is your new wife?"
Tom replied, "Good. She's pregnant."
Mr. Peabody was pleased his sage advice had worked out so well. He asked, "And how's the hired hand?"
Without hesitating, Tom said, "She's pregnant too!"
 

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CameronL

CameronL

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image.png.fb996a1029560b458ddd23a185dc166f.png.b517b21abc037c30023db054bc32a077.png

This reminds me of something which actually happened to me in the IT industry. My firm was looking to  recruit a Quality Manager and a CV and covering letter crossed my desk (before email). The covering letter said "Dear Sir. Please find attached my CV for consideration for the role of Quallity Manager."

 

He didn't get invited to interview.

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dogbox321

dogbox321

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How are those who guide us currently spending lockdown?

 

Boris Johnson and Matt Hunt are currently writing a concise list of covid and lockdown restrictions.  They are calling it "50,000 shades of grey"

 

Whilst Uncle Dom keeps himself busy re-writing Charles Darwin's work on the theory of evolution and natural selection.  At least he's not driving to Durham!

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Hroth

Hroth

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2 hours ago, dogbox321 said:

Whilst Uncle Dom keeps himself busy re-writing Charles Darwin's work on the theory of evolution and natural selection.  At least he's not driving to Durham!

 

Yet....  There's plenty of time in the next four weeks!  :O

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2750Papyrus

2750Papyrus

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6 hours ago, CameronL said:

image.png.fb996a1029560b458ddd23a185dc166f.png.b517b21abc037c30023db054bc32a077.png

This reminds me of something which actually happened to me in the IT industry. My firm was looking to  recruit a Quality Manager and a CV and covering letter crossed my desk (before email). The covering letter said "Dear Sir. Please find attached my CV for consideration for the role of Quallity Manager."

 

He didn't get invited to interview.

When I was at Uni, we thought it a little extreme that our professor would not support a student's application to join the relevant engineering institution because of a spelling mistake.  It transpired that the misspelt word was "engineer".

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