CameronL Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 (edited) 13 hours ago, TEAMYAKIMA said: Hello everyone Sorry, don't have any jokes - and that's why I posting. We are about to start a new LOCKDOWN magazine for Twickenham & District MRC and we want a BACK PAGE of cartoons and jokes - and so I thought I'd start looking here. I've never looked at this thread before - 527 pages of jokes!!! I've waded through about 10 pages so far and not really found what I'm looking for and so rather than try and read all 517 more pages I thought I would try a direct approach. The thing is that I'm primarily looking for railway themed jokes/cartoons and in the first 10 pages I only found one. The one about people who model monorails being single minded Could I request that if anyone reading this has any RAILWAY (or model railway) themed cartoons or jokes that they send them to me as a PM (assuming that they have already appeared in the last 517 pages of this thread) or, of course, if they haven't appeared here yet - let's see them here please. Many thanks Paul Hi Paul, Not so much a joke and a repost from another thread, which drifted on to the topic of moveable layouts. Apparently rock singer Neil Young (board member and former co-owner of Lionel Trains) has a caravan with an O-gauge layout in it which he takes on US tours. (This must surprise groupies who get invited back to his trailer "for a few lines".) I did wonder what song could be appropriate for that. It was obvious - "Tracks and Drags and Rock and Roll" By Ian Dury and the Bullheads of course. Edited November 4, 2020 by CameronL Added a bit 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 8 hours ago, Dave47549 said: - but only about a page worth of original jokes That many??? 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted November 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 4, 2020 8 hours ago, Dave47549 said: - but only about a page worth of original jokes The old ones are the best ones - survival of the fittest. 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted November 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 4, 2020 9 hours ago, TEAMYAKIMA said: Could I request that if anyone reading this has any RAILWAY (or model railway) themed cartoons or jokes that they send them to me as a PM (assuming that they have already appeared in the last 517 pages of this thread) or, of course, if they haven't appeared here yet - let's see them here please. Many thanks Paul It has been seen here before, but worth repeating. 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TEAMYAKIMA Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, newbryford said: It has been seen here before, but worth repeating. BRILLIANT !! Just the kind of railway/modelling joke we're looking for - many thanks Edited November 4, 2020 by TEAMYAKIMA 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 4, 2020 And here's another. 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 4, 2020 Another one. 2 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 4, 2020 And another 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 4, 2020 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TEAMYAKIMA Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 All brilliant - thanks. There are two cartoons I remember from years ago. Years ago I worked at a model shop and every year we got a Xmas card from FULGUREX in Switzerland and one year it had a cartoon in it. Man sitting on upright chair having sex with a naked woman who is sitting astride him but he is actually looking over her shoulder whilst leaning across to control a train on a huge mountainous model railway. The other one was a then and now cartoon. THEN - at 14 a boy secretly reading PLAYBOY magazine which is hidden inside a copy of RAILWAY MODELLER NOW - at 44 a man secretly reading RAILWAY MODELLER which is hidden inside a copy of PLAYBOY magazine Anyone got a cartoon like either of them please? 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 4, 2020 6 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 4, 2020 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 4, 2020 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartynJPearson Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 2 hours ago, PhilJ W said: And here's another. Thanks, my wife's just added one of those to her Christmas list 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 5 hours ago, PhilJ W said: And here's another. 2 hours ago, MartynJPearson said: Thanks, my wife's just added one of those to her Christmas list My wife doesn't need one. She just KNOWS. 2 3 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted November 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 4, 2020 (edited) 3 minutes ago, F-UnitMad said: My wife doesn't need one. She just KNOWS. Stop coming home looking so HAPPY? Edited November 4, 2020 by kevinlms spelling 1 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 28 minutes ago, kevinlms said: Stop coming home looking so HAPPY? You're allowed out? (Working from home in a cupboard office with no windows) 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 This is one of those jokes which can be applied to any town in the country - just substitute the place name for your local rough area. A man was having his haircut Making small talk, the barber asked him "What do you do for a living?" "I work on a milk float in Moss Side," was the reply. "Oh, you're a milkman?" "No, the rear gunner." 1 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave47549 Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 (edited) . Edited October 4, 2021 by Dave47549 Removed pointless guff 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogbox321 Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 One I herd a good many years ago - hope it helps...... A little boys mother was cooking tea in the kitchen, with the door open a jar so she could keep an eye on her son, who was playing with his model trains on the floor. When the train got to the station, she herd her son say "Hurry up you sons of bitches getting on and off the train - its ready to depart!" So goes to her son to correct him and ask him to be polite. As she goes back to the kitchen, he runs the train around the track again, and when it gets to the station he says "Hurry up you sons of bitches getting on and off the train - its ready to depart!". This time the mother tells him, if he does it again he will have to go to his room until tea time, after which he will only be able to play with his trains after eating all his tea. As she goes back to the kitchen, he runs the train around the track again, and when it gets to the station he again says "Hurry up you sons of bitches getting on and off the train - its ready to depart!". This time the mother tells him, thats it - go to your room until tea time. So the boy goes to his room, sulks on his bed for a hour or so and then gets called for his tea. He eats his tea slowly, and after finally finishing it, his mother finally lets him go and play with his trains as long as he promises to be polite to his passengers. The little boy agrees and his mother goes to wash the dishes. As the train comes to the station, this time the little boy says "Ladies and gentlemen any passengers alighting please ensure you take all your belongings with you and take care when stepping from the train to the platform......". His mother listening carefully, starts to smile at this point as his announcement continues...."We would also like to apologise for the two and a half hours delay to your journey this afternoon,(More smiles from his mother....) this was caused by the bitch in the kitchen! 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogbox321 Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 As we approach lockdown 2.0 - is there any reason why half of those wearing Sunflower Lanyards can also be found outside a Costa Coffee having a drink with a Cigarette? I thought the lanyard was to say they couldn't wear a mask for some medical reason, not that they'd found another way to kill themselves! Just a thought. 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium ColinK Posted November 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 4, 2020 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 37 minutes ago, dogbox321 said: having a drink with a Cigarette? Is that a new euphemism for a "temporary friend"? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sem34090 Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 Maybe not, but I'd happily spend lockdown with a CIG... 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted November 4, 2020 Share Posted November 4, 2020 7 minutes ago, sem34090 said: Maybe not, but I'd happily spend lockdown with a CIG... Did that hit a low bridge??!! Surely not? I thought the railway was above all that sort of "incompetant moron" behaviour truck & bus drivers are branded with.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now