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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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9 minutes ago, Baby Deltic said:

I actually like Donald Trump, but I still couldn't resist this:

 

 

 

 

donald donald.jpg

Hi Mr Deltic,

 

That has to be the only Trump joke that I have seen or read that does not involve or rely upon Trump Derangement Syndrome.

 

Yes folks there really is such as thing !

 

Gibbo.

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1 minute ago, Gibbo675 said:

Hi Mr Deltic,

 

That has to be the only Trump joke that I have seen or read that does not involve or rely upon Trump Derangement Syndrome.

 

Yes folks there really is such as thing !

 

Gibbo.

Well the Mainstream Media says 'Orange Man Bad' so he must be.

 

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1 minute ago, Baby Deltic said:

Well the Mainstream Media says 'Orange Man Bad' so he must be.

 

I like the fact that Trump's uncle, MIT Professor John Trump, researched Nikola Tesla's papers in 1943 after his death in New York.

 

I do wonder about what they found.

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2 minutes ago, Gibbo675 said:

I like the fact that Trump's uncle, MIT Professor John Trump, researched Nikola Tesla's papers in 1943 after his death in New York.

 

I do wonder about what they found.

We'll continue with P.M.'s don't want to clutter the jokes thread.

 

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  • RMweb Gold

A true story...

 

Our foundry nightshift had a supervisory staff, about 8-10 men. There were foremen, chargehands, fitters, electricians, etc. They were from all walks of life & previous work experience. Some were miners, bus drivers, insurance salesmen, milkmen. In fact, almost everywhere. 

 

Our 12-hour nightshift had a longer break, about 1:30 in the morning, and most of the artisan staff would congregate in the messroom. As usual, it was a social gathering, and we got on to being in previous jobs. Some were (as I said) ex-miners, 2 were ex-milkmen, one or two were ex-military, and one was an insurance salesman.

 

"What did you used to do, Smithy?"

 

"Well, a few years ago, I used to work as a handyman in the strip clubs in Soho".

Everyone turned to me.: I had their absolute attention...

 

"Wow! What did you do?

"Well, it wasn't serious, change lightbulbs, keep the buildings up to scratch, that sort of thing"

 

"Soho! Strip clubs! What about the women, what about the strippers? What did you see?"

 

"Yes, there were lots of women about, and yes, you got a good eyeful."

 

Bl**dy hell, you lucky sod! Why did you pack it in?"

 

"It was money in the end, the money was terrible".

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes, it was £35 a week. The trouble was, I couldn't afford to pay them £35 a week.....

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Due to a bizarre coincidence, three secret agents met in a bar somewhere during the 70's. One from the CIA, the other from the Mossad and the third from KGB. They were all in the market for a microfilm.


The seller set them a challenge, rather than let money do the talking he tasked them to catch a rabbit. The one with the biggest rabbit would win.

They all went on their way. An hour later, the CIA agent returned with a six pound rabbit. Feeling confident, he stood in shock and awe when he saw the Mossad agent return with a rabbit weighing in at a whopping 8 pound! The KGB agent however was nowhere to be found.


So after another 20 minutes they decided to go look for him. After a short search they found him, attempting to drown a horse while yelling "Just admit you're a rabbit, and it'll be all over very soon!"

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Ok, I'm kinda scared now as to why someone finds this 'Informative'!

 

What is their background?

Is Railway modelling just a cover?

What skills have I inadvertently suggested to them?

Do they know my address?

 

Informative.JPG.d2ea8448360033aa8efd041697c4e34b.JPG

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1 hour ago, Gibbo675 said:

Ulster ?!?!

 

I don't think that there is a Loch Down in either Scotland or Ireland.  There is however a Loch Doon in Scotland and an 8.5% Loch Down 'Scotch' ale brewed by the Arcadia Brewing Co. in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Edited by Dickon
just found Loch Doon on google maps
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3 minutes ago, Dickon said:

 

I don't think that there is a Loch Down in either Scotland or Ireland.  There is however an 8.5% 'Scotch' ale brewed by the Arcadia Brewing Co. in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Brilliant name up for grabs for a Scottish branch line layout though!! ;)

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2 hours ago, Dickon said:

 

I don't think that there is a Loch Down in either Scotland or Ireland.  There is however a Loch Doon in Scotland and an 8.5% Loch Down 'Scotch' ale brewed by the Arcadia Brewing Co. in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

 

I've got a girl there!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kalamazoo.jpg

Edited by Osgood
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