RMweb Premium Popular Post PhilJ W Posted March 23, 2020 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted March 23, 2020 3 1 13 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted March 23, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 23, 2020 3 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted March 23, 2020 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted March 23, 2020 1 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 31 minutes ago, PhilJ W said: Toy late for paper answers... Julian 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted March 23, 2020 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted March 23, 2020 I can't trust you lot. You leave me with no choice. You're all grounded until further notice. 1 3 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 28 minutes ago, Colin_McLeod said: I can't trust you lot. You leave me with no choice. You're all grounded until further notice. Sadly not true for the majority. Sadly very true for the small minority who don't have the mental facilities to have even the foggiest idea about the enormous problems they are going to cause. Julian 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Welly Posted March 24, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 24, 2020 ^^^ Boris should have kept his hands away from his face to help cut down on the risk of catching the virus. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sem34090 Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Shedman5 Posted March 24, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 24, 2020 UK Virus ALERT The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, the level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.” The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.” Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level. The Russians have said “It's not us” 1 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted March 24, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 24, 2020 10 minutes ago, Shedman5 said: UK Virus ALERT The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, the level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.” The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.” Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level. The Russians have said “It's not us” Way behind the times regarding Australia. The Bunnings Sausage Sizzle was cancelled about 10 days ago! 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidB-AU Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 1 hour ago, Shedman5 said: Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level. As of tomorrow, the barbie IS cancelled. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted March 24, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 24, 2020 7 minutes ago, DavidB-AU said: As of tomorrow, the barbie IS cancelled. Here in the UK, Gove has stated that deliveries of non-essential items including toys and clothes can continue. So Barbie's OK. 2 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 12 minutes ago, Compound2632 said: Here in the UK, Gove has stated that deliveries of non-essential items including toys and clothes can continue. So Barbie's OK. Hi Stepehn, Once the Barbie has burned out will you be left with Cindy's ??? Poor, very poor, Gibbo. 2 1 1 1 4 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted March 24, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 24, 2020 But what about Ken? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 36 minutes ago, PhilJ W said: But what about Ken? Hi Phil, He has no real use at, with or for a Barbie, for he has no meat. Gibbo. 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Kylestrome Posted March 24, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 24, 2020 16 hours ago, Colin_McLeod said: Maybe we could use this as a substitute for the missing 'groan' button? 3 4 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted March 24, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 24, 2020 2 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewC Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 18 minutes ago, Chris116 said: separated at birth???? 1 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post Sidecar Racer Posted March 24, 2020 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2020 Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra- curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that every one seeing it there would know what he was doing! Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house .... then walked home .... and left it there all night. (You gotta love Frank!) 10 3 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post PhilJ W Posted March 24, 2020 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted March 24, 2020 Working from home and the schools shut. 6 1 1 21 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted March 24, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 24, 2020 19 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted March 24, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 24, 2020 Even Mrs NB found this one funny. 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 When SWMBO suggested that I might have to sell some of my trains to get us through the financial problems caused by Covid-19, I think "Over my dead body" might have been the wrong answer.... 17 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted March 25, 2020 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted March 25, 2020 1 hour ago, F-UnitMad said: When SWMBO suggested that I might have to sell some of my trains to get us through the financial problems caused by Covid-19, I think "Over my dead body" might have been the wrong answer.... 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted March 25, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 25, 2020 3 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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