The Forum Jokes Thread

[Obi-Jiff Kenobi]

The boss of Dulux was found dead of hypothermia recently. Doctors said he might have survived had he been given a second coat.

[Compound2632]

24 minutes ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said:

The boss of Dulux was found dead of hypothermia recently. Doctors said he might have survived had he been given a second coat.

 

I'm sure many have heard the story of Patrick Murphy who got the contract to redecorate the parish church. Wanting to make the best profit out of the job, he skimped on the quality of his materials. But his conscience got the better of him, so at confession he admitted what he had done. The parish priest said: My son, God forgives you; for your penance, repaint and thin no more.

[34theletterbetweenB&D]

Reminded this morning by an ex-colleague of a favourite joke from a most amusing French guy we once worked with: 

At the breakfast table.

Wife: "Dearest, you do not seem so happy now that you are newly retired, yet our regular start to the day was as good as ever, was it not?"

Husband: "Oh my dear, you were as stupendous as ever, the fault does not lie with you."

W: "What then, how do we correct this? "

H: "It is very difficult, The day starts with the most exclusive Ferrari  ever made, but no longer is there an exciting Alfa-Romeo at lunch and an adventurous Alpine on the way home."

W: "So, you still have a car, go out and find alternative excitement."

H: "Most considerate and kind of you, and do enjoy your day at the office."

W: "And I shall think of you, Renault, while rejoicing at the prospects of today's Scania and MAN".

[AndrueC]

There was an old man from Nantucket.

He went to get water with a bucket.

He tripped on the way back and spilt the lot.

He said "Oh dear".

[KeithMacdonald]

On 02/10/2024 at 19:38, CameronL said:

Wing

Well

Saddle

Side 

Pannier

Have I missed any? If anyone can tell me,  many tanks.

 

Septic

[Obi-Jiff Kenobi]

Doesn't that belong on the other side of the Atlantic?