Jump to content
 

The non-railway and non-modelling social zone. Please ensure forum rules are adhered to in this area too!

The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
 Share

Message added by AY Mod,

Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

Recommended Posts

12 hours ago, ColinK said:


I’ve got my late father’s study to sort out - which is very much like that.

 

When I cleared my late father in laws garage it took two skips, why does anyone need seven broken lawn mowers?  The only items of value I found were a tin of cigarette cards (sold on eBay for fifty quid) and an ancient copy of Mayfair. 

  • Like 2
  • Interesting/Thought-provoking 1
  • Funny 7
  • Friendly/supportive 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold
14 minutes ago, Hibelroad said:

When I cleared my late father in laws garage it took two skips, why does anyone need seven broken lawn mowers?  The only items of value I found were a tin of cigarette cards (sold on eBay for fifty quid) and an ancient copy of Mayfair. 


How much did that “change hands” for?

  • Funny 13
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Premium
21 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said:

 

For changing lightbulbs in the hallways of ex council properties now partially privately owned add another to prepare and send out a bill for £40 to each of the flat owners.

Perhaps reasonable if it's up high, or over a staircase etc, so can't be easily accessed, with a regular ladder.

  • Interesting/Thought-provoking 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said:

As someone with experience of the Civil Service, that is far too close to the truth to be funny!

 

I forgot to mention that these

"Two to hold the ladder because Health & Safety"

are in fact contractors.

Because "Holding Ladders" is not in the job descriptions for salaried Civil Servants.

 

So there's a few extra:

One Human Remains Resources Officer (to recruit the contractors)

One Contracting Agency Executive

One Security Assessment/Background Checker

One Payroll person

One Facilities Management Executive (for the swipecards)

and one Health & Safety Compliance Assessor

 

I think we're up to 16 so far.

Any more?

Edited by KeithMacdonald
  • Like 7
  • Agree 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Premium

I'm not up to speed with Working At Height Regs but before I retired stepladders were just about Verboten so substitute an access platform, requiring two to erect it plus a driver to deliver it and someone to certify its safety once erected.

  • Like 7
  • Agree 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Premium
6 hours ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said:


As someone with experience of the Civil Service, that is far too close to the truth to be funny!

 For my sins I spent two years working in the vehicle maintenance  workshop at the

ordnance factory near Bridgwater , so as a fully qualified mechanic with relevant ' can do '

paperwork who could take engines apart and all the usual stuff I was not allowed to change

a blown bulb, that had to go to the electricians shop , at least water leaks didn't have to go

to the plumbers  shop.    😎 

  • Like 4
  • Funny 2
  • Friendly/supportive 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

On 30/08/2024 at 13:34, KeithMacdonald said:

I think we're up to 16 so far.

Any more?

 

I could expand to process, however do not forget that every bit of paper would have to pass by at least one if not more lawyers to ensure it met legal guidelines. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

23 hours ago, Sidecar Racer said:

 For my sins I spent two years working in the vehicle maintenance  workshop at the

ordnance factory near Bridgwater , so as a fully qualified mechanic with relevant ' can do '

paperwork who could take engines apart and all the usual stuff I was not allowed to change

a blown bulb, that had to go to the electricians shop , at least water leaks didn't have to go

to the plumbers  shop.    😎 

 

Worked in telecoms for a UK Mobile Operator many years ago,  I could wire up 64 Amps worth of 50V supply in an exchange, but was not allowed to wire a 13Amp plug on any office equipment. (Required cos' stuff kept turning up with IEC leads and European plugs).  

 

Edited by 2E Sub Shed
correction to text
  • Like 5
  • Interesting/Thought-provoking 1
  • Friendly/supportive 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Premium
5 minutes ago, F-UnitMad said:

Dagworth beat you to that, an hour ago & 3 posts up.... 😁😉

 

I got stuck in the queue to post it.

  • Funny 11
  • Friendly/supportive 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

On 01/09/2024 at 19:38, KeithMacdonald said:

 

Sooty and Sweep reunited?

Hurrah!

Did Harry Corbett have a hand in it?

_109429312_harrycorbettauctograph-credithansons2.jpg.46b3567b7d56f49bb616442e0d0f23a6.jpg

 

Sooty is on his right hand. Sweep is on his left. What has he got up Soo?

  • Funny 8
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Premium

Been researching my family history recently. Found out my Grandad was killed by a Zulu.

 

Apparently he was in the toilet at Whipsnade and the roof collapsed.

  • Funny 14
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...