RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted July 8 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 8 (edited) And no young parson from Crewe. Edited July 8 by PhilJ W 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-Jiff Kenobi Posted July 8 Share Posted July 8 Nor even a young lady from Ealing 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Dagworth Posted July 8 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 8 A girl from Devizes? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted July 8 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 8 17 hours ago, JZ said: Doesn't look like any QR code that I have seen, no profusion of dots. Just maybe a bar code from the price tag of that hideous dress! Hmmm, no wonder she is frowning. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JZ Posted July 8 Share Posted July 8 Continuing the theme of that dress. 2 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stanley Melrose Posted July 8 Share Posted July 8 5 hours ago, Dagworth said: A policeman from Clapham Junction? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hroth Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 13 hours ago, JZ said: Continuing the theme of that dress. But she also brought an umbrella in case it started raining again... 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JZ Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 54 minutes ago, Hroth said: But she also brought an umbrella in case it started raining again... Noticed that. 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernard Lamb Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 4 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium jbqfc Posted July 9 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 9 A woman decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel.. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!" The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it. She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use." "But I didn't use them." 'Well, they are here, and you could have." He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous."We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here." "But I didn't go to any of those shows.." "Well, we have them, and you could have." No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response. After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. "But Madam, this check is for only $50.00" "That's correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me." "But I didn't!" "Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have. 2 1 2 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 A man and his wife were walking through the park one Sunday morning, when they came across a stranger sitting on a bench. He was wearing a tatty grey raincoat, threadbare trousers and scuffed shoes. His hair was wild and unkempt, and he had a straggly beard. Although it was early on a Sunday, he was drinking neat whisky straight out of the bottle, and singing softly to himself. The wife stopped, looked horrified and hurried her husband past him. "What's the matter?" he asked. "I know that man." She replied. "Before I met you I dated him. He proposed to me and I turned him down." "Oh," said the husband. "And he's still celebrating?" 19 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JZ Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 On 05/07/2024 at 17:33, Hroth said: Couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke! 🤣 1 3 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernard Lamb Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 1 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted July 9 Share Posted July 9 On 07/07/2024 at 21:44, JZ said: It doesn't look like a QR code to me. It's more like dazzle camouflage... Which was designed to "confuse, not conceal". Who did she want to confuse? (Not Rishi, obviously. He could be confused without any help from anyone). 2 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted July 9 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 9 6 1 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernard Lamb Posted July 10 Share Posted July 10 17 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted July 10 Share Posted July 10 44 minutes ago, Bernard Lamb said: Genius! steve 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-Jiff Kenobi Posted July 10 Share Posted July 10 I've shown that one to all my colleagues in the civil service! 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted July 10 Share Posted July 10 14 hours ago, CameronL said: Which was designed to "confuse, not conceal". Who did she want to confuse? (Not Rishi, obviously. He could be confused without any help from anyone). It's a new policy in the USA as well. Dress the First Lady in mock-camouflage to distract attention from the frail failing fall guy. Hold on tight Joe, we're going down some steps. Have you got clean pants on? 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
westernfan Posted July 10 Share Posted July 10 The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.” Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.” The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.” Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him. Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her t*ts are so big she can only fasten eight!” The teacher sat down and cried.😀 3 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
westernfan Posted July 10 Share Posted July 10 A precious little girl walks into a Petsmart shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?" She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice, "I don't think my python weally gives a thit." 1 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Nick C Posted July 10 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 10 23 hours ago, JZ said: If only this was a joke too... https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/article/2024/jul/10/more-fawlty-towers-than-downton-abbey-jacob-rees-moggs-bid-to-become-a-reality-tv-star 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Kylestrome Posted July 10 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 10 20 minutes ago, Nick C said: If only this was a joke too... It depends on how you define a joke. 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JZ Posted July 11 Share Posted July 11 9 hours ago, Nick C said: If only this was a joke too... https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/article/2024/jul/10/more-fawlty-towers-than-downton-abbey-jacob-rees-moggs-bid-to-become-a-reality-tv-star 🤢 Can't believe that Discovery+ is doing it, more a subject for GB"News" 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stray Posted July 11 Share Posted July 11 2 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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