The Forum Jokes Thread

[Dunsignalling]

I went into a pub the other day, but only stayed for one drink.

 

The locals were a rough looking lot, broken noses, cauliflower ears, and covered in tattoos.

 

And the men were even worse.... 

[jbqfc]

There is a new cryptocurrency called the decibel.
It's a sound investment.

[JZ]

[Reorte]

7 hours ago, kevinlms said:

Someone told me that he won't go to cafes etc, where the servers have tattoos. I told him that he's likely to go hungry/thirsty these days! I don't like them, but it's none of my business, what they chose to do.

I always think of an old guy I heard on the radio once - "I had a tattoo of a striking eagle done when I was young. Now it looks like a dead budgie."

[Hroth]

6 hours ago, Dunsignalling said:

I went into a pub the other day, but only stayed for one drink.

 

The locals were a rough looking lot, broken noses, cauliflower ears, and covered in tattoos.

 

And the men were even worse.... 

 

You also see them at Tescoes shopping on a Sunday morning in pjs and dressing gowns, with their hair up in curlers...

 

[ian]

57 minutes ago, Hroth said:

You also see them at Tescoes shopping on a Sunday morning in pjs and dressing gowns, with their hair up in curlers...

...and that's just the men...

[fulton]

3 hours ago, Hroth said:

 

You also see them at Tescoes shopping on a Sunday morning in pjs and dressing gowns, with their hair up in curlers...

 

I worked with a lady from Lithuania, she had been told about this before coming to the UK, but did not believe it until seeing it for herself, what an image in the world!

Edited 1 hour ago by fulton
Correction

[KeithMacdonald]

2 hours ago, Hroth said:

You also see them at Tescoes shopping on a Sunday morning in pjs and dressing gowns, with their hair up in curlers...

 

We need pics!

[F-UnitMad]

1 minute ago, KeithMacdonald said:

 

We need pics!

No, we don't!!!! 😱😱😱

[Hroth]

23 minutes ago, KeithMacdonald said:

 

We need pics!

 

Not of the lot I saw this morning, I've seen rough metal files that were smoother!

 

Page 1066!

And all that*....

 

Best history book ever, better even than Our Islands Story. 

 

* I've two copies, an old Penguin edition and a Folio hardback edition in a slipcase.

 

Edited 2 hours ago by Hroth

[steve1]

3 hours ago, Hroth said:

 

You also see them at Tescoes shopping on a Sunday morning in pjs and dressing gowns, with their hair up in curlers...

 

 

I believe they’re known as Walmartians on the other side of the Pond…

 

steve

[CameronL]

1 hour ago, fulton said:

I worked with a lady from Lithuania, she had been told about this before coming to the UK, but did not belive it until seeing it for herself, what an image in the world!

When our kids were younger it used to be a family tradition to go to a cinema matinee on New Year's Eve. Our cinema of choice was Cineworld in Runcorn, at the Halton retail park. We always used to play "Spot the curlers" and look for women in tracksuits with enough makeup for three and their hair still in curlers in preparation for the festivities.

 

You saw so many people in tracksuits there that you could have been in an Olympic village. Mind you, when you thought about the size of the people in tracksuits it could only be an Olympic village if Sumo Wrestling became an Olympic sport.

[The Johnster]

11 hours ago, Dunsignalling said:

I went into a pub the other day, but only stayed for one drink.

 

The locals were a rough looking lot, broken noses, cauliflower ears, and covered in tattoos.

 

And the men were even worse.... 

 

 

Been in my local, then?

 

5 hours ago, Hroth said:

 

You also see them at Tescoes shopping on a Sunday morning in pjs and dressing gowns, with their hair up in curlers...

 

 

Some years ago, Tesco's in St Mellons (rough estate, bad enough to make the nice village of St Mellons start calling itself Llaneirwg, or Old St Mellons) banned women in pjs, nighties, dgs, furry onesies, and pink slippers, which hit the local BBC Wales evening news.  One woman, interviewed live on the 6-0 news outside the shop, came out with 'dunno wot they're moanin' about, they wuz my new jammies, clean, like, innit, see, an' I bort 'em 'ere an' all!'.

 

Such attire is not unusual in my local Tesco, Clifton Street in Roath, where nobody seems much bothered by it.

 

Digressing a bit, years ago on a no.58 Pentwyn bus, sitting behind a pair of women and eavesdropping; they were discussing the blokes they'd picked up over the weekend.  Quoth one, unforgettably,  Ee wuz like sh*ggin' a washin' machine ee woz, oh aye, wicked on the final rinse...'.  And I expect he was.

 

Luvs the 'Diff to bits, me...

Edited 2 minutes ago by The Johnster