Jump to content
 

The non-railway and non-modelling social zone. Please ensure forum rules are adhered to in this area too!

The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
 Share

Message added by AY Mod,

Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

Recommended Posts

1 minute ago, Hibelroad said:

Some years ago I had a ginger cat (imaginatively called Ginger) who would sit on my knees when I was at the computer, then get up, tread on the keyboard as they do and spring on top of the VDU in order to sleep in the warm. One day I replaced it with an early flat screen but didn’t tell her ……. ( now hanging my head in shame). 

 

Her? Very rare for a ginger cat to be female!

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold
Just now, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said:

Could be a time travelling cat.

 

Or its a genetic trait passed down through the generations!

 

  • Informative/Useful 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold

My budgie learnt not to walk on keyboards after he got one of his toes stuck. Sadly he never learnt not to perch on my laptop screen and for some reason he liked to perch facing away from the keyboard. That left an unfortunate part of his anatomy hanging over the screen.

 

The same part of his anatomy ruined a perfectly good Logitech Harmony remote as well.

 

I miss the little sod.

 

😢

  • Funny 2
  • Friendly/supportive 10
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold
2 hours ago, jcm@gwr said:

 

Her? Very rare for a ginger cat to be female!

I had a ginger female for many years called Amber. I still have her tortie sister Pandora. Their mum was Lady who was also ginger.

 

Pan's dad was a big black street tom that I later gave a home to for his last few years, I don't know what colour Amber's dad was.

 

Andi

  • Like 2
  • Round of applause 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

A Yorkshireman goes to the vet, and says "Ee, vet'nary, I'd like you to tek a look at me cat."

 

The vet replies "Is it a tom?"

 

"Nay, you daft beggar," the Yorkshireman replies, "I brought it wi' me."

  • Like 2
  • Funny 11
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold
12 minutes ago, jcm@gwr said:

Having checked the statistics, it's about 20% are female, so not as rare as I thought, but still not common

 

It's the male tortie that is really rare, they do happen but are always sterile

 

Andi

  • Like 2
  • Informative/Useful 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold
7 hours ago, AndrueC said:

My budgie learnt not to walk on keyboards after he got one of his toes stuck. Sadly he never learnt not to perch on my laptop screen and for some reason he liked to perch facing away from the keyboard. That left an unfortunate part of his anatomy hanging over the screen.

 

The same part of his anatomy ruined a perfectly good Logitech Harmony remote as well.

 

I miss the little sod.

 

😢

 

What with, an airgun or a catapult...

  • Funny 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Gold
1 hour ago, The Johnster said:

 

What with, an airgun or a catapult...

I used to tell him I loved budgies. On toast or with chips, it didn't matter.😁

  • Round of applause 1
  • Funny 7
Link to post
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, PhilJ W said:

image.png.e56f94c67eafbbfd0caed2de910f5ba7.png

Reminds me of the joke of the time my mates mum found a BDSM magazine under his bed. She asked his father what they should do about it. His Dad thought for a second then said ‘Well I don’t think we should spank him’ 😀

  • Like 2
  • Round of applause 2
  • Funny 14
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • RMweb Premium
12 hours ago, PhilJ W said:

image.png.172ed9449ee44858193b58dc23e16579.png

Reminds me of the discovery of the cosmic microwave background.

 

One group had theorised it existed, and worked out that if it did another group had an antenna that would be capable of detecting it. Meanwhile the owners of said antenna were trying to deal with this annoying hiss that it kept picking up, with their leading theory being that it was the result of birds leaving deposits in it...

  • Like 2
  • Funny 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...