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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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16 hours ago, Colin_McLeod said:

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But due to spreading of the Mid Atlantic ridge, Eurasia has been drifting to the right at a few cm per year for 60 Million years or so, they ought to have taken that into their calculations by now!  Conversely, North America has been drifting to the left, of course, whatever Trump might think about it.

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2 hours ago, eastglosmog said:

But due to spreading of the Mid Atlantic ridge, Eurasia has been drifting to the right at a few cm per year for 60 Million years or so, they ought to have taken that into their calculations by now!  Conversely, North America has been drifting to the left, of course, whatever Trump might think about it.

That will be on his list to fix on his first day elected.

 

Then he will spend the remaining days playing (cheating) at golf and have the Secret Service staying at his resorts at excessive rates.

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I had a most unfortunate experience last night. I was in the local pub and heard two burly women at the bar talking in a strange dialect. ‘Excuse me’, I said, ‘are you two ladies from Scotland?’

 

‘Wales, you dumb idiot’ one of them replied.

 

‘Sorry, let me rephrase it. Are you two whales from Scotland?’ I said.

 

I left the pub with a black eye.

 

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1 hour ago, Deeps said:

I had a most unfortunate experience last night. I was in the local pub and heard two burly women at the bar talking in a strange dialect. ‘Excuse me’, I said, ‘are you two ladies from Scotland?’

 

‘Wales, you dumb idiot’ one of them replied.

 

‘Sorry, let me rephrase it. Are you two whales from Scotland?’ I said.

 

I left the pub with a black eye.

 

Lucky you didn't leave the pub on a stretcher, or in a body bag.

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8 hours ago, Colin_McLeod said:

I hope this does not break the religious jokes rule.

 

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And thus it was spake "JUST KEEP TAKING THE TABLETS"...

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Cilla's Blind Date had a re-run of their last special Celebrity Politicians edition. With the same contestants!

 

And the studio audience results are ...  (roll of drums please) ....

 

ff5f1363-932a-4807-8be6-3087dfcd3469_680

 

 

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