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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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5 hours ago, Tangoman69 said:

Once, in a Moscow hotel, I was stung by what I thought at the time was a dodgy looking wasp.

 

Although now I suspect it was the cagey bee...
 

image.png.5a4709a2d4de625bcd1f5a15ec3d0b42.png

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On 19/04/2024 at 11:58, Stray said:

24BFC92F-C0EB-40EB-9B05-BCBD44AAC7D0.jpeg.5b886d8221a300650a71e20858cd420d.jpeg

 

26 minutes ago, CameronL said:

I wonder how they got it out...

 

Difficult lie like that, my club of choice would be a pitching wedge.

 

Put him on the table and the surgeon jumped on his tum.  One of the nurses acted as wicket keeper....

 

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45 minutes ago, The Johnster said:

There are Thai ladies who could probably advise...

 

Slender wrists and long fingers?

 

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1 hour ago, Hroth said:

 

 

Put him on the table and the surgeon jumped on his tum.  One of the nurses acted as wicket keeper....

 

 

It's like the old joke about why you don't have Welshmen as maternity doctors.

 

As soon as the baby comes out he wants to dropkick it for three points!

 

 

 

I think that was one of Max Boyce's

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4 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said:

 

It's like the old joke about why you don't have Welshmen as maternity doctors.

 

As soon as the baby comes out he wants to dropkick it for three points!

 

 

 

I think that was one of Max Boyce's

 

Sounds like it!

 

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Posted (edited)
16 hours ago, aardvark said:

They become maybees.

 

And, if you can positively identify them, they are definitely maybees.

 

 

 

Edited by Kylestrome
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1 hour ago, Steamport Southport said:

It's a good job he did write all that stuff rather than Francis Bacon as some suggest, as all those fine actors would have ended up working for the Royal Bacon Company...

 

...and when they perform Hamlet, it would be the Royal Danish Bacon Company.

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Philip Henslowe: Mr. Fennyman, allow me to explain about the theatre business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster.
Hugh Fennyman: So what do we do?
Philip Henslowe: Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well.
Hugh Fennyman: How?
Philip Henslowe: I don’t know. It’s a mystery.

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3 hours ago, Steamport Southport said:

St George's Day today...

I shall celebrate in traditional fashion with Satay on a lance, then Basmati rice accompanied by Rendang, Gado-gado, Loompia Semarang and other Indonesian delights, all washed down with Weissbier, followed by Peach Melba. I should have fairly authentic dragon breath after that lot, but if not some slivovitz can be brought into play.

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