Popular Post 2750Papyrus Posted July 10, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2023 Hands trembling with excitement, I checked the numbers again 09-15 -21-07-23. I was in shock, after all this time, I'd finally got a doctors appointment 1 4 23 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted July 10, 2023 Share Posted July 10, 2023 This isn't as good as @2750Papyrus's offering, but: My dentist must have a warped sense of humour. Look at the appointment they've offered me! 2:30 on 1st Apr 2024. 3 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post KeithMacdonald Posted July 10, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2023 2 1 22 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post KeithMacdonald Posted July 10, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 10, 2023 1 23 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Turpin Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 2 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post CameronL Posted July 11, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 11, 2023 2 1 22 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 Psst. I think Sooty has been on ITV for about sixty years! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
exmoordave Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 What do you call a magician who has lost his magic? Ian 1 1 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post KeithMacdonald Posted July 11, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 11, 2023 I identify as Dunning Kruger. 2 5 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 When Gary Lineker heard he was the BBCs top paid star for the sixth year he couldn't believe his ears but neither can anyone else. 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted July 12, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 12, 2023 … I think he might just have been making a Charlie of himself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 (edited) I went to a Pompeii eruption experience - I was petrified. Edited July 12, 2023 by NIK 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 After photos appear of a curious whale swimming alongside Australian kayakers some people start searching the internet for bicurious whales. 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 31 minutes ago, NIK said: start searching the internet for bicurious whales. That reminds me of a colleague who works in a branch of IT known as Business Intelligence reporting. "Business Intelligence" is usually abbreviated to "BI". His team is based in Manchester, and for Diversity and Equality, he was given the task of recruiting more female members into the team. So, without much thought, he started a recruitment search by searching for "BI women in Manchester". He was surprised by the results he got - especially some of the images! Warning! Might be NSFW 2 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
2750Papyrus Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 21 hours ago, exmoordave said: What do you call a magician who has lost his magic? Ian My 8 year old granddaughter liked that. I had to explain it to her Granny! 1 6 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
exmoordave Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 Recently seen on a T-shirt: I would like to apologise to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly....... 1 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
proton Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 1 hour ago, exmoordave said: Recently seen on a T-shirt: I would like to apologise to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly....... In alphabetical order (Wowbagger the infinitely prolonged...) 3 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted July 12, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 12, 2023 (edited) On 11/07/2023 at 18:36, exmoordave said: What do you call a magician who has lost his magic? Ian What do you call a pig with three eyes. A piiig Edited July 12, 2023 by BoD 1 8 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post CameronL Posted July 12, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 12, 2023 A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. they were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10%, for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and "kick it up a notch." The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing at this point, they decided to try for 50%. the husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby boy with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the postman was dead on the porch. 1 1 22 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 Hollywood producers wanted a method actor to play Ken in the new Barbie film but no star was prepared to have their genitals sanded off. 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted July 12, 2023 Share Posted July 12, 2023 (edited) After an Italian judge suggests a 10 second limit to groping rule his critics debate if its ok for them to join a queue to strangle him for one minute each. Edited July 12, 2023 by NIK 2 2 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted July 13, 2023 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 13, 2023 7 hours ago, exmoordave said: Recently seen on a T-shirt: I would like to apologise to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly....... Someone on RMweb has that as a footer! Or something similar. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Joseph_Pestell Posted July 13, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 13, 2023 14 hours ago, exmoordave said: Recently seen on a T-shirt: I would like to apologise to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly....... Anyone know who sells these? Perfect present for someone that I know. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted July 13, 2023 Share Posted July 13, 2023 4 hours ago, Joseph_Pestell said: Anyone know who sells these? Perfect present for someone that I know. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Apologise-Anyone-Have-Not-Offended/dp/B09VCKPFZL 3 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Pilotman Posted July 13, 2023 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 13, 2023 This one should be popular with some of the more particular members of this forum…. available at www.redmolotov.com 5 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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