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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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8 hours ago, kevinlms said:

Remaindered on the first day and opened at Midnight - must be good! Probably should have got some advice from his two uncles and aunt, in relation to the title!

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I don't know if that really means anything, I can remember the latest Terry Pratchett books being sold at half price on publication day and he was one of the best selling authors in the UK.

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30 minutes ago, JeremyC said:

I don't know if that really means anything, I can remember the latest Terry Pratchett books being sold at half price on publication day and he was one of the best selling authors in the UK.

 

Guaranteed to be on the shelves of every charity shop by the Coronation.

 

Jim

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32 minutes ago, MartynJPearson said:

I spent the day installing a drainpipe, but then the whole lot fell down and landed on top of me. After all that hard work, I was guttered.

 

I bet that was a drain on your energy.

 

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43 minutes ago, MartynJPearson said:

I spent the day installing a drainpipe, but then the whole lot fell down and landed on top of me. After all that hard work, I was guttered.

Pipe down!

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1 hour ago, MartynJPearson said:

I spent the day installing a drainpipe, but then the whole lot fell down and landed on top of me. After all that hard work, I was guttered.

 

So sorry for you...  you tell a joke followed by a load of folks who want to water it down.

 

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13 hours ago, kevinlms said:

Remaindered on the first day and opened at Midnight - must be good! Probably should have got some advice from his two uncles and aunt, in relation to the title!

image.png.a61f7d11699e0a15ccdb0d373e5d9a1e.png

 

4 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said:

 

Guaranteed to be on the shelves of every charity shop by the Coronation.

 

Jim

 

Shelved alongside such charity shop notables like Captain Corelli's Mandolin and the 50 Shades of Grey series. By the reported contents, it should feel right at home with 50 Shades...

 

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53 minutes ago, NIK said:

Since Harald Bluetooth was scandinavian could the loco be tempted out with some fermented fish?.

 

They might not be able to smell the fish, it's illegal to open tins of the stuff in enclosed spaces*, and unless the wind was blowing in the right direction....

 

*I belive tinned fermented fish in ring-pull cans is classed as a weapon of war. You pull the lid off and toss the can into the bunker or pillbox...

 

 

Edited by Hroth
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2 minutes ago, Hroth said:

 

They might not be able to smell the fish, it's illegal to open tins of the stuff in enclosed spaces*, and unless the wind was blowing in the right direction....

 

 

Is that as Sandi Toksvig might say a randy Scandi?.

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