DK123GWR Posted November 14, 2022 Share Posted November 14, 2022 16 minutes ago, CameronL said: My car will do 30mph in 4th gear at 1500rpm. It will do 20mph in 3rd gear (no way will it do 20mph in 4th) at 1250 rpm. Per minute, its fuel consumption is less, but a journey takes 1½ times as long. So, its fuel per journey is about 20% more at 20mph than it would be at 30mph. This is not good for the environment. But also, think about delivery drivers, taxi drivers and others who make a living from driving. If they're in the same situation, because they're having to drive at a lower speed they do fewer journeys per shift, and each one costs more. They will make less money and have to pass the costs on the their customers. For a company to provide the same level of service it will need more vehicles on the road, and therefore higher costs as well as more emissions This is not good for the economy. The 20 mph speed limit is not good for the environment or the economy What muppet thought it is a good idea? Except of course that a lower speed limit makes roads safer for pedestrians and cyclists (hence making them more attractive) and at the same time making travelling by car less attractive, hence encouraging modal shift away from cars and towards active and public transport (though the latter is of course limited by poor service in many areas, but the remedy for that is better service). The problem that we have with transport policy is that there are two many people who believe we should optimise conditions for the modes of transport that people currently use,on the journeys that they currently use. A coherent strategy would start by asking how people would travel in the best acheivable society, and then considering what changes need to be made to bring that about. In reality, that means the goal should be to get people out of their cars wherever possible. The sorts of measures that I would use to bring this about are: - Pedestrianisation of urban centres - An extensive and joined up network of cycleways, ideally segregated from both pedestrians and cars - Redesigning roads and the highway code to give pedestrians and cyclists priority over cars wherever possible - Provision of the best possible bus service, at affordable prices - The above, for trains - Public transport to be as accessible as possible for disabled people - Measures to disincentivise car use (lower speed limits, road pricing, congestion charging, LTNs, traffic filters, etc.) implemented to suit local circumstances - Reforming planning processes to ensure that as many people as possible have shops, schools, etc. within walking or cycling distance (obviously, this won't have an immediate impact but it's perhaps the most important in the long run) Obviously, you can't completely eliminate cars. For instance, they will continue to be essential in rural areas and for some people with disabilities, whose transport needs cannot be adequately addressed by the policies above. The emergency services will need to be able to use motorised vehicles as well. However, if the above policies (and I've probably missed some obvious ones) are implemented properly then it may actually improve the experience of those who need to use cars, due to modal shift by others reducing congestion. I would ensure that those who need a car due to disability are exempt from measures such as road pricing, etc., so that they aren't unfairly punished for circumstances which are beyond their control. Of the places I know, Oxford is probably the one which probably deserves the most recognition. Some of the main roads (Iffley Road and Botley Road spring to mind) could perhaps be made more cyclist friendly, but North Oxford has decent cycle lanes (or bus lanes which double up as cycle lanes) on the main roads, quiet residential streets which provide alternative routes, and bridges/underpasses for pedestrians and cyclists at many key locations. There seems to be a decent bus service (though I don't have much reason to use it) and the rail links are of course fantastic, and likely to get better with EWR and Cowley trains in the future. (It would also help if cyclists would stop at red lights and pedestrians would stay off of cycle paths, but that's probably a result of the high concentration of people who think they're above the highway code (and rules in general) because they went to a posh school) 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted November 14, 2022 Share Posted November 14, 2022 This is a jokes thread. 5 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted November 15, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 15, 2022 I was about to post just that! 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dublo70 Posted November 15, 2022 Share Posted November 15, 2022 If you can't post jokes please find somewhere else for your pontifications. 7 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted November 15, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 15, 2022 8 hours ago, NIK said: This is a jokes thread. Some might be tempted to say that this thread is a joke! 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted November 15, 2022 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted November 15, 2022 and some might not. 😁 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted November 15, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 15, 2022 12 hours ago, NIK said: This is a jokes thread. Are you certain about that? It says it is a jokes thread in the heading but the evidence shows otherwise. 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibelroad Posted November 15, 2022 Share Posted November 15, 2022 And now for something completely different. A young Australian is hard at work gold prospecting in the outback when he comes across a large nugget. Hurrying to the assay office he is offered $10,000 for his find. What will you do with the money? asks the assay officer I’m going to spend it on the best night of my life, replies the prospector Back in his cabin the young man loses no time in calling up the flying escort agency service. He explains that he will require an escort for the whole of the night. The agent says OK, but that’s going to cost $1,000. Thats no good, says the young man, I want the best you have got. OK said the agent we do have a top escort but she will cost you $5,000. Still no good said the man, I need the very best and I’m prepared to pay whatever it costs. The agent thought for a while then said he did know of an exceptional escort but the cost would be $10,000. That will do said the prospector, send her over A little later the plane lands and a stunning woman in flying overalls steps out. Now, she says, I know you prospectors live a lonely life here in the outback, tell me truthfully, have you ever spent the night with a woman before? The prospector looked down at his shoes and muttered no I haven’t. Well that’s OK, she said, we will take things nice and slow and you will have the time of your life. Now I will need to get changed in your bedroom. As she was getting changed she heard a good deal of noise coming from the main room. There was scraping. dull thuds, sawing and hammering to be heard. When she emerged she was stunned, all the furniture had been piled in the corner, the carpet rolled back and boards nailed across the windows. What the hell is going on here ? she asked I’m just making my usual preparations said the prospector. What preparation? I thought you said you have never had a woman here before. Well no I haven’t, he replied, but I thought if they are anything like kangaroos you need to give them plenty of room. 1 15 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted November 15, 2022 Share Posted November 15, 2022 11 minutes ago, Chris116 said: Are you certain about that? It says it is a jokes thread in the heading but the evidence shows otherwise. is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour? 1 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted November 15, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 15, 2022 23 minutes ago, KeithMacdonald said: is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour? Currently it is thirteen years and counting. Standard of posts has varied over the years but I hope we are all still smiling. 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted November 15, 2022 Share Posted November 15, 2022 (edited) 53 minutes ago, KeithMacdonald said: is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour? No, this is "hitting on the head" lessons...."ooooghh", "no, waaargh".... Edited November 15, 2022 by 33C Missing letter. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted November 15, 2022 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 15, 2022 So long as we're not the forum jokes ourselves... 🤔 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted November 15, 2022 Share Posted November 15, 2022 17 hours ago, NIK said: This is a jokes thread. Sorry. My wife recently said to me: "We need to talk. Sometimes you can be so immature " I replied: "Not now, I'm playing trains." 3 3 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pH Posted November 15, 2022 Share Posted November 15, 2022 4 hours ago, 33C said: No, this is "hitting on the head" lessons...."ooooghh", "no, waaargh"... Edited 4 hours ago by 33C Missing letter. Was it an ‘o’ or an ‘a’? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-Jiff Kenobi Posted November 15, 2022 Share Posted November 15, 2022 Don’t give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings! 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted November 15, 2022 Share Posted November 15, 2022 32 minutes ago, pH said: Was it an ‘o’ or an ‘a’? Neither, W. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Allegheny1600 Posted November 16, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted November 16, 2022 More from Australia! Some years ago two aliens landed in outback Australia near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.' The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Browned off at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire!" The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You don't want to do that! It will make him angry.' 'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards him and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him in a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch. Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head. 'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He darn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?' The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy who can loop his pe*is over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.' 1 1 22 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 Cheap film remakes for Britain in recession: Poor expectations. The Bridge over the river Wye. Lawrence of suburbia. Saving Private pension. Star skirmishes. Indiana Jones and the stairlift of doom. Annie prefab. The magnificent three and a half. The fantastic one over four. The incredible wimp. West Staines story. The good, the bad and the cheap on E bay. Pearl marina. The million pence note. The first great model train robbery. A passage to Ipswich. Romancing the brick. Gone with the breeze. Incredibly short encounter. One flew over the sparrows nest. Raging mouse. Shaun of the slightly poorly. The silence of the kebabs. The shrew of Wall Street. Where budgies dare. A clockwork satsuma. Annoy Bill. The seconds. One angry man. Singing in the drizzle. It’s an ok life. Some like it tepid. The lord of the Ratners ring. An American in Pontypridd. My fairish lady. Butch Cassidy. Thelma and nobody. The spy who stayed out in the cold. Dances with Chihuahuas. Jurassic garden. The deer botherer. All Quiet on the Western Region. The French E-mail. It happened one second. Around the living room in eighty days. Mr Smith goes to Wearside. Drizzle man. Closego. The raisins of wrath. The green yard. Mutiny on the Bounty bar. The Maltese sparrow. The cheapest story ever told. No mules for sister sarah. Wuthering depths. Model taxi driver. For a few cents more. The one commandment. The lion, the witch and the self assembly wardrobe. The personal history of David Dickenson. A tale of one city. One billboard outside Ebsfleet. Slow and not all furious. Fahrenheit 151. A minute at the races. A second at the opera. One samurai and six sicknotes. Window box of dreams. The dirty two. The shortest day. A staircase too far. The taking of Pelham one. The short good friday. 30. Ferris Bueller’s minute off. Pan’s hallway. 3:10 to Yeovil. The Beagle has landed. Desperately seeking Sainsburys. Fear and loathing in Lossiemouth. No good men. Oceans two. No monkeys. Clovermarge. Lost in Tranmere. One dollar baby. Training second. Trading hakes. Blazing cushions. Crouching tiger, hidden drag queen. Cape slightly scary. The IOU of the Sierra Madre. Good Morning Ventnor. The imperfect storm. Gangs of Newmarket. The Ladyticklers. Das Pedalo. 4 4 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Vistisen Posted November 16, 2022 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 16, 2022 On 11/11/2022 at 03:03, pH said: … and the audience snickers. A new theme. What a bounty to exploit! . But i should not do so. i mars resist. 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted November 16, 2022 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 16, 2022 27 minutes ago, Vistisen said: A new theme. What a bounty to exploit! . But i should not do so. i mars resist. That gets mounds of zeros from me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 41 minutes ago, NIK said: Cheap film remakes for Britain in recession: Poor expectations. The Bridge over the river Wye. Lawrence of suburbia. Saving Private pension. Star skirmishes. Indiana Jones and the stairlift of doom. Annie prefab. The magnificent three and a half. The fantastic one over four. The incredible wimp. West Staines story. The good, the bad and the cheap on E bay. Pearl marina. The million pence note. The first great model train robbery. A passage to Ipswich. Romancing the brick. Gone with the breeze. Incredibly short encounter. One flew over the sparrows nest. Raging mouse. Shaun of the slightly poorly. The silence of the kebabs. The shrew of Wall Street. Where budgies dare. A clockwork satsuma. Annoy Bill. The seconds. One angry man. Singing in the drizzle. It’s an ok life. Some like it tepid. The lord of the Ratners ring. An American in Pontypridd. My fairish lady. Butch Cassidy. Thelma and nobody. The spy who stayed out in the cold. Dances with Chihuahuas. Jurassic garden. The deer botherer. All Quiet on the Western Region. The French E-mail. It happened one second. Around the living room in eighty days. Mr Smith goes to Wearside. Drizzle man. Closego. The raisins of wrath. The green yard. Mutiny on the Bounty bar. The Maltese sparrow. The cheapest story ever told. No mules for sister sarah. Wuthering depths. Model taxi driver. For a few cents more. The one commandment. The lion, the witch and the self assembly wardrobe. The personal history of David Dickenson. A tale of one city. One billboard outside Ebsfleet. Slow and not all furious. Fahrenheit 151. A minute at the races. A second at the opera. One samurai and six sicknotes. Window box of dreams. The dirty two. The shortest day. A staircase too far. The taking of Pelham one. The short good friday. 30. Ferris Bueller’s minute off. Pan’s hallway. 3:10 to Yeovil. The Beagle has landed. Desperately seeking Sainsburys. Fear and loathing in Lossiemouth. No good men. Oceans two. No monkeys. Clovermarge. Lost in Tranmere. One dollar baby. Training second. Trading hakes. Blazing cushions. Crouching tiger, hidden drag queen. Cape slightly scary. The IOU of the Sierra Madre. Good Morning Ventnor. The imperfect storm. Gangs of Newmarket. The Ladyticklers. Das Pedalo. The replacement bus of events. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Vistisen Posted November 16, 2022 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 16, 2022 16 minutes ago, J. S. Bach said: That gets mounds of zeros from me. I can not decide twix carrying on and stopping 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post BoD Posted November 16, 2022 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted November 16, 2022 21 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 Where's Françoise Pascal? One for the youngsters..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted November 16, 2022 Share Posted November 16, 2022 2 hours ago, NIK said: Cheap film remakes for Britain in recession: Poor expectations. The Bridge over the river Wye. Lawrence of suburbia. Saving Private pension. Star skirmishes. Indiana Jones and the stairlift of doom. Annie prefab. The magnificent three and a half. The fantastic one over four. The incredible wimp. West Staines story. The good, the bad and the cheap on E bay. Pearl marina. The million pence note. The first great model train robbery. A passage to Ipswich. Romancing the brick. Gone with the breeze. Incredibly short encounter. One flew over the sparrows nest. Raging mouse. Shaun of the slightly poorly. The silence of the kebabs. The shrew of Wall Street. Where budgies dare. A clockwork satsuma. Annoy Bill. The seconds. One angry man. Singing in the drizzle. It’s an ok life. Some like it tepid. The lord of the Ratners ring. An American in Pontypridd. My fairish lady. Butch Cassidy. Thelma and nobody. The spy who stayed out in the cold. Dances with Chihuahuas. Jurassic garden. The deer botherer. All Quiet on the Western Region. The French E-mail. It happened one second. Around the living room in eighty days. Mr Smith goes to Wearside. Drizzle man. Closego. The raisins of wrath. The green yard. Mutiny on the Bounty bar. The Maltese sparrow. The cheapest story ever told. No mules for sister sarah. Wuthering depths. Model taxi driver. For a few cents more. The one commandment. The lion, the witch and the self assembly wardrobe. The personal history of David Dickenson. A tale of one city. One billboard outside Ebsfleet. Slow and not all furious. Fahrenheit 151. A minute at the races. A second at the opera. One samurai and six sicknotes. Window box of dreams. The dirty two. The shortest day. A staircase too far. The taking of Pelham one. The short good friday. 30. Ferris Bueller’s minute off. Pan’s hallway. 3:10 to Yeovil. The Beagle has landed. Desperately seeking Sainsburys. Fear and loathing in Lossiemouth. No good men. Oceans two. No monkeys. Clovermarge. Lost in Tranmere. One dollar baby. Training second. Trading hakes. Blazing cushions. Crouching tiger, hidden drag queen. Cape slightly scary. The IOU of the Sierra Madre. Good Morning Ventnor. The imperfect storm. Gangs of Newmarket. The Ladyticklers. Das Pedalo. The Lord of the Rings: The Buddy Pair of the Ring The Lord of the Rings: The Two Sheds The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the Library Book The Day The Earth Kept Moving When Shopping Trolleys Collide Attack of the 5 Foot Woman The Quatermass Thought Experiment Quatermass and the Pothole The Creature from the Black Binbag The Gerbil King Bottom Gun Indiana Jones and the Last Biscuit in the Packet The Wild Goose Dances With Cats Muswell Hill Cop One Wedding and a Takeaway A Toy Car Named Desire Newt Dundee Partial Recall One Man and a Barbie 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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