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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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20 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said:

 

 

 

<snip>  and a steel-reinforced flat cap.

A friend of mine who was a car mechanic did have a steel plated flat cap.  It was much more convenient than a helmet when working under a car.  He referred to it as a bump hat.

 

Dave

 

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14 hours ago, Dunsignalling said:

 

If it was an occasional table, what was it the rest of the time?

 

Near the University of Hertfordshire, in Hatfield, there’s a set of traffic lights with a sign that describes them as part-time traffic lights. I’ve no idea what they do the rest of the time - student discos, maybe?

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40 minutes ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said:

Near the University of Hertfordshire, in Hatfield, there’s a set of traffic lights with a sign that describes them as part-time traffic lights. I’ve no idea what they do the rest of the time - student discos, maybe?

We have some of those on the large roundabout serving the M5 intersection at Exeter, only operational in the peak hours, I think, though they can presumably get switched in at other times if necessary.

 

My railway background makes it difficult not to treat non-illuminated signals as being red! 😇 

 

John

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47 minutes ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said:

Near the University of Hertfordshire, in Hatfield, there’s a set of traffic lights with a sign that describes them as part-time traffic lights. I’ve no idea what they do the rest of the time - student discos, maybe?

 

I'm fairly sure the more obstreperously-minded take great delight at wandering off to find innocent T-junctions at which they can set themselves up as temporary 3-way traffic control. They're in league with the roving hordes of barriers (to say nothing of the vicious gangs of keep-left signs). Why else do you think you find all these so-called roadworks with not a worker in sight?

 

At least that's how it seems round here.

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21 minutes ago, Dunsignalling said:

We have some of those on the large roundabout serving the M5 intersection at Exeter, only operational in the peak hours, I think, though they can presumably get switched in at other times if necessary.

 

My railway background makes it difficult not to treat non-illuminated signals as being red! 😇

I've nearly ended up the other way around - thought a signal was a traffic light, in the dark and fog and a railway next to a road and a glow ahead... (

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30 minutes ago, Dunsignalling said:

My railway background makes it difficult not to treat non-illuminated signals as being red! 😇 

Some other countries solve that in a sensible way - when the traffic signals aren't in use, they flash amber in all directions, to signify 'proceed with caution'

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10 minutes ago, Compound2632 said:

How long have you been on RMWeb?

I checked: signed on on 07jun17. Although I had been randomly reading it (7mm scale mostly) for a year or so before.

 

Edited by J. S. Bach
To add some information.
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10 minutes ago, J. S. Bach said:

I checked: 07jun17.

 

Well, I could have done that. It was a humorously rhetorical remark, with the implied continuation:

 

... and you've only just noticed that it's full of GOM?

Edited by Compound2632
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32 minutes ago, Compound2632 said:

 

Well, I could have done that. It was a humorously rhetorical remark, with the implied continuation:

 

... and you've only just noticed that it's full of GOM?

 

Some of us are Grumpy Young Men.

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14 minutes ago, Stubby47 said:

Some of us are Grumpy Young Men.

 

I believe I am younger than many but am often surprised to find I am older than some. 

 

At least the monarch is still a good deal older than me.

Edited by Compound2632
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8 hours ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said:

Near the University of Hertfordshire, in Hatfield, there’s a set of traffic lights with a sign that describes them as part-time traffic lights. I’ve no idea what they do the rest of the time - student discos, maybe?

 

This, obviously, is the answer to what occasional tables do the rest of the time...

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25 minutes ago, Hroth said:

Whats the cut off between grumpy young and grumpy old men?

 

Just askin'....

 

Those who are older than you, are grumpy old men and those who are younger than you, are grumpy young men.

 

If you are asking for a friend then it is their age that is the dividing line!

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