RMweb Premium newbryford Posted December 20, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 20, 2021 Other towns/cities are available. 3 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted December 20, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 20, 2021 That should be Chicago! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted December 21, 2021 Share Posted December 21, 2021 14 hours ago, J. S. Bach said: That should be Chicago! ..... Oh? Does he still go there?? 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted December 21, 2021 Share Posted December 21, 2021 37 minutes ago, jcredfer said: ..... Oh? Does he still go there?? He did at one time A certain "Uncle" Santa Al Capone Clause Jim 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted December 21, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 21, 2021 There ain't no sanity clause!!!!! 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium jbqfc Posted December 21, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 21, 2021 1 1 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NIK Posted December 21, 2021 Share Posted December 21, 2021 I love the idea of Christmas, misteltoe, Yuletide carols and Chesney Hawkes roasting on an open fire. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted December 21, 2021 Share Posted December 21, 2021 Right, well now, just to pass on a simple idea from the kind, considerate, folks who live here in Salisbury... A number of the inhabitants have decided that, in view of the way the new Covid threat is going, they ought to pack the kids off to the safety of the Grandparents, away from all that shopping and virus dodging. The problem was that trains are an, enclosed, high risk of transmission, area, for the latest variety of the nasty. Busses are, likewise, places where passengers are highly vulnerable. Necessity being the Mother of invention and all that entails, they were not to be put off the original concept, of child dispersal. Sending them to the covid-free safety of the No 10 garden, was soon dismissed, but only because of the proximity of all that work, alcohol and the complete lack of any responsible adult supervision... best not to get too conservative or to labour the point. A flash of inspiration was all that was required and once the parents of one family got the solution for packing the juveniles off, they were all at it. So simple to do, once the kids were completely wrapped up, protected and safe from the virus, just sent them on their way. Simple, so very simple..... 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post CameronL Posted December 21, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted December 21, 2021 (edited) This is a joke involving religion but I don't think it's offensive. If you think differently, please let me know.... There was once a Catholic priest and a rabbi, who were great friends. They often held combined events for the church and synagogue, went to dinner at each other 's houses and even played the occasional round of golf. One day on the golf course the rabbi admitted to the priest that the idea of Confession fascinated him. Could the priest, he asked, tell him anything that went on in there? "Not a chance," the priest replied. "I can't break the sanctity of the confessional. I must never divulge anything I hear." The rabbi pondered this. "Then how about if I sat in?" he asked. "It's dark in there. As long as I'm quiet nobody will know that I'm there. That way you wouldn't be telling me anything, and I won't tell anyone." The priest thought this over. "OK," he finally said. "I'll sneak you in before it starts next confession day." This happened, but frankly the rabbi got a bit bored with trivial confessions about impure thoughts, too much drink and a bit of bad language. But then a young man sat down... "Bless me, father, for I have sinned," he said. "Last night I made love to my girlfriend! Three times." "Say three Hail Marys and put £10 in the confessional box," replied the priest. There were a few more dull confessions, then another young man came in. "Bless me, father, for I have sinned," he said. "Last night I made love to my girlfriend three times." "Say three Hail Marys and put £10 in the confessional box," replied the priest again. Well, by now the rabbi was thinking that the whole confessional thing was a bit of a doddle. You just made.the confessor say some Hail Marys or a rosary and put some money in the confessional box. "Can I have a go?" he asked. "I think I've got the hang of it. Pray, pay and leave." "That's one way of putting it," replied the priest. "Go on then, but you must never tell anyone." So they swapped places, and another young man came in. "Bless me, father, for I have sinned," he said. "Last night I made love to my girlfriend twice." "Go back and do it again," said the rabbi. "It's three for £10." Edited December 22, 2021 by CameronL Rescued from a spell check blooper by a good Samaritan. 1 19 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted December 21, 2021 Share Posted December 21, 2021 There once was a priest and a rabbit??? Spell check strikes again 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Dagworth Posted December 21, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 21, 2021 2 2 4 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Phil Bullock Posted December 21, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 21, 2021 7 minutes ago, Dagworth said: Did the rabbit ask for a pint of best bitter and a cheese and onion toastie ? 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted December 21, 2021 Share Posted December 21, 2021 A rabbit asked his mum if could have a toastie instead of carrots. "No" said his mother, " rabbit's never eat toastie's". But, when mum went to visit the carrot field, the rabbit got out the hotplate and had a cheese and onion toastie then a cheese and ham toastie and then a cheese, ham and bean toastie. Unfortunately his bowels couldn't take it and he died. Upon arrival at the pearly gates, Peter asked how he passed away. The rabbit replied "Mixingmytoasties"......... 1 1 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted December 21, 2021 Share Posted December 21, 2021 Two snowmen are standing in a field, one turns to the other and says (sniff, sniff) "Can you smell carrots?" 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post CameronL Posted December 21, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted December 21, 2021 20 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted December 22, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 22, 2021 10 hours ago, jcredfer said: ..... Oh? Does he still go there?? I think he does according to NORAD. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DK123GWR Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a road! When is a party on a bus not a party? When the bus turns into Downing Street! 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted December 22, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 22, 2021 Brings a new meaning to in partibus infidelium. 2 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
2750Papyrus Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 1 hour ago, Compound2632 said: Brings a new meaning to in partibus infidelium. reminds me of the back seat of the coach returning from a youth club outing..... 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium jbqfc Posted December 22, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 22, 2021 2 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted December 22, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 22, 2021 Strange, my cat could care less about a box. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted December 22, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 22, 2021 1 hour ago, jbqfc said: Christmas at Schrödinger's house... 2 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted December 22, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 22, 2021 1 hour ago, Hroth said: Christmas at Schrödinger's house... There are two versions of Schroedinger's experiment. The first is the classic quantum-mechanical thought experiment. That remains a thought experiment because of the practical difficulty of getting the cat in the box when you want it to get in. That is related to the second, macroscopic version, illustrated here, which demonstrates that the probability of the cat getting into the box at some time is 1 but the probability of it being in the box at any specific time is undefined - a manifestation of Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. 1 1 4 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted December 22, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 22, 2021 Too true. 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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