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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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1 hour ago, Baby Deltic said:

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Brilliant - as a bus driver that really made me smile after three challenging days of road works, road closures and diversions, while this afternoon  while sitting on a bench I had my mobile phone snatched out of my hand by a youth on a bike.  A passenger gave me a Twix today and the chocolate was still on it.

 

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7 hours ago, Baby Deltic said:

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3 hours ago, J. S. Bach said:

Not funny at all!

 

3 hours ago, Baby Deltic said:

Used to happen a lot. The cats were never harmed.

I was reliably informed by a long-serving Fire Officer that that's exactly what they would do - after sending the old biddy who's cat it was inside to make the lads a cup of tea....

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I was reliably informed by a long-serving Fire Officer that that's exactly what they would do - after sending the old biddy who's cat it was inside to make the lads a cup of tea....

Yep! My Dad spent 23 years in the fires service and that's what the y would do. Quick squirt with a hose reel and the cat would be down. If the cat was too high to land safely, the ladders would be deployed. Obviously they didn't blast the cat out of the tree in quite the same way as the cartoon illustrated, but most cats will move if hit with a bit of water spray.

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Yep! My Dad spent 23 years in the fires service and that's what the y would do. Quick squirt with a hose reel and the cat would be down. If the cat was too high to land safely, the ladders would be deployed. Obviously they didn't blast the cat out of the tree in quite the same way as the cartoon illustrated, but most cats will move if hit with a bit of water spray.

 

As long as they didn't do what one fire crew did - got the cat down from the tree to a big round of applause from the neighbours, then ran over it with the fire engine as they left..... :-(

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Bought a really smart looking designer jumper on Amazon, only thing wrong it was full of static when I wore it.
I returned it and they sent another one free of charge

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