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Baby Deltic Posted June 24, 2021 Share Posted June 24, 2021 (edited) Edited June 24, 2021 by Baby Deltic 2 8 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Baby Deltic Posted June 24, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted June 24, 2021 1 1 2 17 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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RMweb Gold Hroth Posted June 24, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 24, 2021 9 minutes ago, Baby Deltic said: 5 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted June 25, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 25, 2021 Doh! Nuts! Mmm, doughnuts… 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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RMweb Gold Popular Post Stubby47 Posted June 25, 2021 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted June 25, 2021 ^^^^ Surely they just needed to close and reopen the windows... 1 13 6 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post 101 Posted June 25, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted June 25, 2021 1 2 16 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
2750Papyrus Posted June 26, 2021 Share Posted June 26, 2021 9 hours ago, Stubby47 said: ^^^^ Surely they just needed to close and reopen the windows... My wife's Skoda Yeti has a vast assortment of electrical tricks to play, which of course all all disappear when the garage runs diagnostics. The current favourite is a jamming tailgate, usually with the dog crate and piles of luggage in position to obstruct the emergency release access. But the one I liked best was on one stop/start journey round the M25; every time I changed into 2nd gear, the door locks all "clonked". 2 1 6 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted June 26, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 26, 2021 2 hours ago, 2750Papyrus said: My wife's Skoda Yeti has a vast assortment of electrical tricks to play, which of course all all disappear when the garage runs diagnostics. Have you had the "windows reset" problem? Easy to fix at home if you know the correct incantation... 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted June 26, 2021 Share Posted June 26, 2021 17 hours ago, Baby Deltic said: The IT man must have been a hardware engineer. A software engineer faced with a car that wouldn't start would describe it as an anti-theft security feature. 3 1 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium BR60103 Posted June 27, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 27, 2021 How do you tell a *** Customer Service Representative with a flat tire? He's the one who's changing all four tires to see which one's flat. How do you tell a *** Customer Service Representative who's out of gas? He's the one who's changing all four tires to see which one's flat. (*** name of computer firm not available on request.) 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 I was sent this a long time ago, and it harks back to a time even further back in the mists of IT history. It mentions the C: prompt, WordPerfect software and is set when 640k of processing on your desk was a breakthrough. If you remember steam on British Rail, Star Trek first coming to UK screens and Joan Collins before she had any work done you'll know when I'm talking about - ---------------- Customer Service This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time. Think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer are department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." Actual dialogue of former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations!) "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." "What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "Went away?" "They disappeared." "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" "What's a monitor? "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" "I don't know." "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" "Yes, I think so." "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." "Yes, it is." "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" "No." "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." "Okay, here it is." Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." "I can't reach." "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" "No." "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark." "Dark?" "Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." "Well, turn on the office light then." "I can't." "No? Why not?" "Because there's a power failure." "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." "Really? Is it that bad?" "Yes, I'm afraid it is." "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" "Tell them you're too f****** stupid to own a computer. 7 4 7 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Stubby47 Posted June 27, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 27, 2021 The BOFH... http://www.bofharchive.com/1995/bastard95-01.html 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewC Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 An oldie but a goodie. Still relevant today. 4 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Tim123 Posted June 27, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 27, 2021 6 hours ago, AndrewC said: An oldie but a goodie. Still relevant today. I've only ever owned Macs, not sure whether I should be offended or not!!! 2 1 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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