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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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8 minutes ago, 96701 said:

I got a job at the sandwich factory, but ended up going home early.

 

"Why are you home early?" asked my other half. "I put my dick in the cucumber slicer," I responded.

 

"What?" she said, "show me your dick," she said. I did so and she noticed there was not a mark on it.

 

"What happened to the cucumber slicer?" she asked. "She got the sack as well."

 

"Garlic?" , "Bread?" :D

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11 hours ago, peanuts said:

dont know if this is a spoof but facepalm moment 

180208617_10159618309123478_2054749056927308074_n.jpg

Neighbour of ours phoned the police to say someone had stolen the whole engine from the front of her Beetle.

 

Mind you, another friend said not to worry as she had a spare one in the back of hers. 

Edited by Stubby47
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On 29/04/2021 at 21:27, Reorte said:

Well that makes me wonder what the book visible in the window "The Meadow Girls" is all about.

 

Apparently, The Meadow Girls is a warm-hearted and nostalgic family sag, set in WWI, by Sheila Newberry.  I can't vouch for that, but there are several Google pages devoted to it.  Possibly not one of the titles being complained about.

 

Julian

 

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To articulate my position upon some recent postings, I will just state that "I am a Union-Garratt man".

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1 hour ago, rocor said:

To articulate my position upon some recent postings, I will just state that "I am a Union-Garratt man".

 

?.....   please excuse my curiosity, but I will have to declare that I have missed the point somewhere along the line.  Would you mind offering some clarity for me please?

 

 

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23 minutes ago, jcredfer said:

 

?.....   please excuse my curiosity, but I will have to declare that I have missed the point somewhere along the line.  Would you mind offering some clarity for me please?

 

 

 

It is a rather late attempt at an articulated locomotive pun as we have long since moved on, and Garratt has been used before anyway.

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1 hour ago, jcredfer said:

 

?.....   please excuse my curiosity, but I will have to declare that I have missed the point somewhere along the line.  Would you mind offering some clarity for me please?

 

 

 

Its was my error in that I boarded this particular train somewhat late in its journey. Several hours earlier puns were being posted on this thread regarding articulated locomotives. This was my somewhat feeble effort in this regard. 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_African_Class_U_2-6-2%2B2-6-2

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28 minutes ago, rocor said:

 

Its was my error in that I boarded this particular train somewhat late in its journey. Several hours earlier puns were being posted on this thread regarding articulated locomotives. This was my somewhat feeble effort in this regard. 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_African_Class_U_2-6-2%2B2-6-2

 

That's a big loco.  The thread does dodge about a bit and I hadn't checked back quite far enough to relate the comments, so thanks for letting me know.  A bit like finding a blood couple of spots around your waist and not checking far enough to find that they are-tic-related.

 

[Can't really believe that I just typed that...   :scare:  there really must be something here that does it while I'm not watching... :unsureclear: }

 

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Rather frustratingly, even my most contorted attempts at punning have failed to work Kitson Meyer into the plot, so I present that as a free gift to those whose minds may work in even stranger ways than my own.

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19 minutes ago, Compound2632 said:

Rather frustratingly, even my most contorted attempts at punning have failed to work Kitson Meyer into the plot, so I present that as a free gift to those whose minds may work in even stranger ways than my own.

Not to mention Péchot-Bourdon. I decided life's too short.

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56 minutes ago, Compound2632 said:

Rather frustratingly, even my most contorted attempts at punning have failed to work Kitson Meyer into the plot, so I present that as a free gift to those whose minds may work in even stranger ways than my own.

The trick is to get in early and pick the easy ones, leaving the impossible ones to others!

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