Steamport Southport Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 4 hours ago, peanuts said: A true story from the pages of the Manchester Evening News . . . Last week a passenger in a taxi heading for Salford station leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the kerb and stopped just inches from a large plate window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then the shaking driver said "Are you OK? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me." The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, "I didn't realise that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly." The driver replied, "No, no, I'm the one who is sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years." I think I first heard that "true story" well more than 25 years ago.... 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 5 hours ago, peanuts said: A true story from the pages of the Manchester Evening News . . . From which decade of the mid-20th Century...???!!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 I don't know but I hope he gave the horse a sugar lump. 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted March 26, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 26, 2021 20 hours ago, Stubby47 said: ^^ still waiting for the punchline... 'But he was not Arthur, and he fed the ravens on the walls of Catraeth'? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 Today a man knocked on my door for a small donation for the village swimming pool, I gave him a glass of water. I love supporting the community. 2 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 Talking of a knock on the door.... A new vicar was visiting homes in the parish. At one house he was sure that someone was there but there was no answer. So he wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of a business card and put it through the letterbox. After the next Sunday's service, he found that his card had been returned in the offering plate and it had 'Genesis 3:10' added cryptically to his message. Upon reaching for his bible to check the citation, he burst out laughing. Why ? Revelation 3:20 - "Behold, I stand at the door and knock". Genesis 3:10 - "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked". 3 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post RFS Posted March 26, 2021 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted March 26, 2021 3 1 21 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Clearwater Posted March 26, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 26, 2021 4 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
APOLLO Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 Brit15 2 17 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post 96701 Posted March 26, 2021 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted March 26, 2021 Absolutely true story, a bit shaggy dog-ish. The kitchen needed renewing, and it was quite large. Son and heir was about 3 years old. We emptied all the old kitchen cupboards. This took up a lot of space. I destroyed the existing kitchen cupboards and dumped them in the back yard, leaving enough room to access the back door which coincidentally opened into the kitchen. The new units were delivered, so into the kitchen they came, and I started to drill the first hole for the first base unit to go in just by the back door. After a few seconds of the hammer drill making its first foray into the wall, in toddles son and heir and stood in front of me and under the drill that I was holding. Needless to say, I stopped drilling and was feeling very stressed when a knock came on the back door. As I moved to the right to open the door, son and heir came with me, so he was standing right in front of me, when the woman standing there with a collection box and said "I'm collecting for the children's home." I pushed son and heir towards her and said "Here you are, take him." We had to have a further conversation to stop her calling the authorities on me. Some people have no sense of humour. 1 1 2 17 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted March 27, 2021 Share Posted March 27, 2021 5 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted March 27, 2021 Share Posted March 27, 2021 (edited) 16 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: I think I first heard that "true story" well more than 25 years ago.... I can certainly remember telling a variation of it to relatives on our way to my grandmother's funeral in 2000, and I'd known it for a few years before then. The version I knew was slightly different as the driver was driving the mourners' limousine, rather than a taxi. Edited March 27, 2021 by RJS1977 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted March 27, 2021 Share Posted March 27, 2021 My wife caught me in bed with a book on optical illusions. I told her "it's not what it looks like!" 4 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted March 27, 2021 Share Posted March 27, 2021 (edited) And yes, I know, it's a container ship.... Edited March 27, 2021 by RJS1977 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted March 27, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 27, 2021 57 minutes ago, RJS1977 said: And yes, I know, it's a container ship.... The Ever Given is not an oil tanker! 1 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted March 27, 2021 Share Posted March 27, 2021 (edited) 6 minutes ago, kevinlms said: The Ever Given is not an oil tanker! That's why I put "Yes, I know it's a container ship..." I borrowed the meme from Facebook and couldn't be bothered rewriting it....! Edited March 27, 2021 by RJS1977 3 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted March 27, 2021 Share Posted March 27, 2021 6 hours ago, Titan said: My wife caught me in bed with a book on optical illusions. I told her "it's not what it looks like!" What was her reply? "Tell me about it!!" ??? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted March 27, 2021 Share Posted March 27, 2021 BREAKING NEWS : Yorkshire holds it breath as main shipping route of pork pies is blocked !! Fred Slathwaite , Captain of the vessel, said “ One minute we were fine , then a gust of wind caught us !!” “Yorkshire is expected to loose as much as £3.45 a day until the carnage can be cleared , which could potentially take weeks to clear “ a spokesman said . 22 1 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted March 27, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 27, 2021 Also old hat on the 'Canal Blocked' thread. I rather liked Uncle Albert's comment that he was in the engine room, which tended to follow the ship around everywhere... 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
APOLLO Posted March 27, 2021 Share Posted March 27, 2021 Brit15 2 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
exmoordave Posted March 27, 2021 Share Posted March 27, 2021 They always say you'll find the love of your life when you're not looking, which was true. But by then I'd run her over...... 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted March 27, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 27, 2021 4 hours ago, RJS1977 said: That's why I put "Yes, I know it's a container ship..." I borrowed the meme from Facebook and couldn't be bothered rewriting it....! So you did, my apologies! 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 3 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-Jiff Kenobi Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 When it comes to people, life really is like a box of chocolates: all the good ones go first, and every one that’s left is nuts. 3 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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