The Forum Jokes Thread

[Hibelroad]

Sorry to kill the topic stone dead but many modern light fittings now have  non replaceable bulbs, just saying. 

[ELTEL]

I once helped out in a local electrical shop for a friend and was told they are not bulbs, they are called lamps.

 

I considered my self told off 

 

Terry 

[jcm@gwr]

I was told by an electrician, that bulbs go in the ground!

[Colin_McLeod]

32 minutes ago, jcm@gwr said:

I was told by an electrician, that bulbs go in the ground!

 Of course. That's how you grow a standard lamp. 

[KeithMacdonald]

1 hour ago, jcm@gwr said:

I was told by an electrician, that bulbs go in the ground!

 

Obviously a safety-conscious electrician. Making sure it was properly earthed.

[Hroth]

15 hours ago, jbqfc said:

Q: How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb ?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and are offended by light bulb discussions.

6 to argue over whether it's 'lightbulb' or 'light bulb'.

Another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.

22 to tell THOSE 6 to stop being jerks.

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is 'lamp'.

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that 'light bulb' is perfectly correct.

49 to post memes and gifs (several are of Michael Jackson eating popcorn with the words added, “I’m just here for the comments.”)

19 to post that this page is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a light bulb page.

11 to defend the posting to this page saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant here.

24 to discuss the merits of LED/swirly fluorescent light bulbs

44 to claim LED and fluorescent bulbs will kill you.

12 to post F.

8 to ask what F means.

36 People to post pics of their own light bulbs.

15 People to post "I can't see S$%^!" and use their own light bulbs.

6 to report the post or PM an admin because someone said "f÷×$"

4 to say "Didn't we go through this already a short time ago?".

13 to say "Do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".

1 to bring politics into the discussion by adding that (insert politician of choice) isn't the brightest bulb. This usually takes place within the first three comments.

50 more to get into personal attacks over their political views.

5 admins to ban the light bulb posters who took it all too seriously.

1 late arrival to comment on the original post 6 months later and start it all over again.

 

 

You missed out the gauge war/controversy over BC, SBC, ES and SES...

 

 

[newbryford]

4 hours ago, Enterprisingwestern said:

 

You forgot one;

26 people to post about cats.

 

Mike.

 

0r 83 to post about fitting a DCC decoder....

[Baby Deltic]

[J. S. Bach]

Here is an old photo of a shop that sold light bulbs and fixtures:

[peanuts]

excellent

[Enterprisingwestern]

 

I'm just back from my premature help group, there was no one there, the caretaker said I'd come too early.

 

Mike.

[Colin_McLeod]

1 hour ago, J. S. Bach said:

Here is an old photo of a shop that sold light bulbs and fixtures:

 

Here it is at night:

 

 

[KeithMacdonald]

25 minutes ago, Colin_McLeod said:

 

Here it is at night:

 

 

 

That must be Molly Windley's shop.

 

Have you got a light boy?

 

[Hroth]

2 hours ago, J. S. Bach said:

Here is an old photo of a shop that sold light bulbs and fixtures:

 

Do you have an electric train adaptor?

 

[Steamport Southport]

Have you got fork 'andles?

[33C]

17 hours ago, Hibelroad said:

Sorry to kill the topic stone dead but many modern light fittings now have  non replaceable bulbs, just saying. 

What about heavy fittings?

[peanuts]

Just a quick heads up about a documentary on Sky 9 pm Tonight I'm not really one for conspiracy theorys but this is a factual program about two Chinese scientists from Wuhan who where going to blow the bubble on the deliberately engineered Covid virus and it's second phase due Dec 20 they were supposed to catch flight C1273 out of Wuhan which of course mysteriouly vanished over the Chinese sea It's a must watch it's called: Two Wong's don't make a flight

[grahame]

53 minutes ago, peanuts said:

Just a quick heads up about a documentary on Sky 9 pm Tonight I'm not really one for conspiracy theorys but this is a factual program about two Chinese scientists from Wuhan who where going to blow the bubble on the deliberately engineered Covid virus and it's second phase due Dec 20 they were supposed to catch flight C1273 out of Wuhan which of course mysteriouly vanished over the Chinese sea It's a must watch it's called: Two Wong's don't make a flight

 

Great, that sounds like an episode of Doomwatch. I thought I'd seen them all.

;-)

 

 

[Hroth]

1 hour ago, grahame said:

 

Great, that sounds like an episode of Doomwatch. I thought I'd seen them all.

;-)

 

 

 

Midsomer Doomwatch?

[ian]

11 minutes ago, Hroth said:

 

Midsomer Doomwatch?

Hello, Cully. What are you doing here?

[Sidecar Racer]

 

Before the surgery, the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas

or a boat paddle...

 

It was an ether/oar situation.

 

[Sidecar Racer]

Everybody knows about Bruce Lee’s vegan brother Broco Lee,

but not many know about his half Italian brother..

 

Ravio Lee

[Sidecar Racer]

was looking for a sofa to buy, and the salesman pointed to one and said,

“This one can seat three people without any problems.”

 

I said,

 

“Where the hell am I going to find three people without any problems?”

[Sidecar Racer]

I have a friend originally from Spain, and one the strangest things he discovered when moving to England was the way we hold our pens.

In Spain, they hold them straight up, whereas we hold them slightly on the side.

 

He would always get weird looks when writing with a fountain pen.

 

It’s not all that surprising.

 

After all,

 

nobody expects the Spanish Ink Position.

 

[Reorte]

^ Groan button back now!