RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted January 11, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 11, 2021 9 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: Tram = Yorkshire sheep 9 hours ago, Ruffnut Thorston said: Tram...Male Yorkshire sheep. 9 hours ago, 33C said: Train....Yorkshire weather..... 8 hours ago, Sidecar Racer said: Twit = Yorkshire humour . Good morning, apostrophe police here. Missing it out makes the delivery totally different to the spoken word, we're very proud of our inflections. SO GERRIT REIGHT! Mike. 3 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 (edited) 't i'n't' in t' tin When something is found not to be inside a metal container Edited January 11, 2021 by leopardml2341 1 1 7 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted January 11, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 11, 2021 T'watter A non-alcoholic liquid. 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 1 hour ago, leopardml2341 said: 't i'n't' in t' tin When something is found not to be inside a metal container Reminds me of the story heard on the late great Terry Wogan's Morning Radio show. The reporter was on a bus journey up the Wye Valley, sitting near a couple of old ladies, as the bus passed a grand Gothic ruin. One old lady said to the other, "Oh dear, look at that, in't it grand?" The other old lady said "What's it called, is it an abbey?" Trying to be helpful, our reporter looked up and said "Tintern Abbey" One old lady indignantly replied "T'is!" 5 2 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post newbryford Posted January 11, 2021 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted January 11, 2021 So far 13 birds, 24 aeroplanes, 4 Police helicopters and Superman have been fined for speeding this week. 5 1 2 19 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 Heard about the dyslexic Yorkshireman? Walks around with a cat flap on his head. I think that's one of Ronnie Barkers.. 1 1 8 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 OK after all of these jokes that need a working knowledge of Yorkshire accents, here is one that would definitely only be understood by residents of Glasgow! Wifie 1 - looking in the Window of a Bakers in downtown Govan: "Is that a cream slice in the windae or a Meringue?" Wifie 2: "Naw yer right enough" Jim 2 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post Torper Posted January 11, 2021 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted January 11, 2021 A topical one... So I was at the supermarket earlier with my service dog. The lady in front of me at checkout had about £200 worth of toilet paper in her shopping cart. Rather snootily she asked me what type of dog I had. I told her it was my service dog. Then she got a bit nasty and said, I knew that. What type of service? I said he was a BLD. By now he was licking her face and hands being super friendly. She said, what is a BLD? I told her it stood for Bottom Licking Dog. She said Bottom Licking Dog? I said yeah, he has been trained to lick my bottom clean because I can't seem to be able to find toilet paper because of hoarders. The cashier completely lost it. 1 7 19 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 37 minutes ago, luckymucklebackit said: OK after all of these jokes that need a working knowledge of Yorkshire accents, here is one that would definitely only be understood by residents of Glasgow! Wifie 1 - looking in the Window of a Bakers in downtown Govan: "Is that a cream slice in the windae or a Meringue?" Wifie 2: "Naw yer right enough" Jim I say old chap. Can we have subtitles for our Southern readers? I think anyone who has ever watched Rab C Nesbitt or Still Game will get that. 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocor Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 8 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said: I say old chap. Can we have subtitles for our Southern readers? I think anyone who has ever watched Rab C Nesbitt or Still Game will get that. Having read a few Irvine Welsh novels helps as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Torper Posted January 11, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 11, 2021 53 minutes ago, luckymucklebackit said: OK after all of these jokes that need a working knowledge of Yorkshire accents, here is one that would definitely only be understood by residents of Glasgow! Wifie 1 - looking in the Window of a Bakers in downtown Govan: "Is that a cream slice in the windae or a Meringue?" Wifie 2: "Naw yer right enough Along the same lines.... I was in MacLarens the bakers in Forfar a a few days ago when the man in front asked for two plain bridies. Asked if he wanted anything else, he said "Aye - Ananinginaneana' DT Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted January 11, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 11, 2021 36 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said: I say old chap. Can we have subtitles for our Southern readers? What about our far, far western readers?? 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 35 minutes ago, J. S. Bach said: What about our far, far western readers?? You have your own version. 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 Just saw a man get hit in the head with a power tool. Everything was fine then... bosch! 1 9 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 1 hour ago, Steamport Southport said: I say old chap. Can we have subtitles for our Southern readers? I think anyone who has ever watched Rab C Nesbitt or Still Game will get that. Long before still game! 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Alex TM Posted January 11, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 11, 2021 Hi Jim, Priceless, absolutely priceless. Just showed the video to my Scouse other half; she's falling about laughing. Regards, Alex. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted January 11, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 11, 2021 2 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said: OK after all of these jokes that need a working knowledge of Yorkshire accents, here is one that would definitely only be understood by residents of Glasgow! Wifie 1 - looking in the Window of a Bakers in downtown Govan: "Is that a cream slice in the windae or a Meringue?" Wifie 2: "Naw yer right enough" Jim In a similar vein; A son takes his girlfriend home to meet his dad who on meeting them at the door asks what her name is, it's Amanda the son replies, gerroot says the father, I'll be ha'eing none o that in ma hoose. Mike. 1 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 I used to love Stanley Baxter. Wasn't Christmas without one of the specials. Still listen to him on the radio in Stanley Baxter Playhouse when it's on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 Following on from that one... Man has three daughters and their suitors come around to to take them out... First lad, "my name's Vance, I'm here for Nance, to take her to a dance, any chance?" Man thinks, nice boy, OK. Second boy, "my name's Joe, I'm here for Flo, to take her to a show, can she go?" Man again thinks, nice boy, Ok Third boy "my name's Tucker", which is as far as he got before the man slammed the door Jim 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted January 11, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 11, 2021 10 hours ago, leopardml2341 said: 't i'n't' in t' tin When something is found not to be inside a metal container 9 hours ago, newbryford said: T'watter A non-alcoholic liquid. 8 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said: Reminds me of the story heard on the late great Terry Wogan's Morning Radio show. The reporter was on a bus journey up the Wye Valley, sitting near a couple of old ladies, as the bus passed a grand Gothic ruin. One old lady said to the other, "Oh dear, look at that, in't it grand?" The other old lady said "What's it called, is it an abbey?" Trying to be helpful, our reporter looked up and said "Tintern Abbey" One old lady indignantly replied "T'is!" I realise I've made a rod for my own back, but could you sort your apostrophes out please gentlemen?!! Mike. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 13 minutes ago, Enterprisingwestern said: I realise I've made a rod for my own back, but could you sort your apostrophes out please gentlemen?!! Mike. Oh yeah, one too many.... 't i'n't in t' tin Better now? 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymw Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 Punctuation for the pedants -There should be a comma between duck and and and and and grouse And, in a recent English test the teacher saw that John where Jack had had had had had had had had had had had the teachers approval And to the saner members of the human race - nihil illegitemae carborundum Stuff from school, 60 odd years ago. Can't remember much else that was as useful ... 4 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted January 11, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 11, 2021 On 10/01/2021 at 18:04, Steamport Southport said: Twerk = Yorkshire Job 21 hours ago, Sidecar Racer said: Twit = Yorkshire humour . T'wittter Yorkshire person talking at length on trivial matters 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
simontaylor484 Posted January 11, 2021 Share Posted January 11, 2021 12 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said: Reminds me of the story heard on the late great Terry Wogan's Morning Radio show. The reporter was on a bus journey up the Wye Valley, sitting near a couple of old ladies, as the bus passed a grand Gothic ruin. One old lady said to the other, "Oh dear, look at that, in't it grand?" The other old lady said "What's it called, is it an abbey?" Trying to be helpful, our reporter looked up and said "Tintern Abbey" One old lady indignantly replied "T'is!" There were another couple of classics using a brummie accent. "Hitlers invaded Warsaw" "Thats the 39 bus from Solihull" Or "Kipper Tie?" :No i just had one thanks" 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Tankerman Posted January 11, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 11, 2021 5 hours ago, J. S. Bach said: What about our far, far western readers?? Talking of far, far westerners, If you are from east of Exeter, cross the Tamar, stay away from the coast and meet a Cornishman over 50 you are quite likely to need an interpreter. 1 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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