jcredfer Posted November 29, 2020 Share Posted November 29, 2020 11 minutes ago, peanuts said: Advice needed! My children keep finding their Christmas presents that I’ve hidden around the house. Someone suggested that I should just keep them in the attic. So I tried that last night, but their constant crying and whining kept me awake. All the “I’m afraid of the dark” or “I don't like it up here - there are spiders” really got on my nerves. Any other suggestions?????… You could do what my parents did, when I discovered "the" Christmas present [well it was only 4 years after WWII]. Father simply removed the Dinky Toy from the box, replaced it with a suitable length of 1 x 1.5 wood..... and replaced it in the hiding place. I couldn't complain, as that would reveal my underhand searching and I had to wait many long days to see if the Dinky might appear when the presents came out on Christmas Day..... torture for a 4 year old! Julian 7 1 4 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 29, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 29, 2020 When I was small the presents were not hidden but placed beneath the Christmas tree (but not all of them, some were kept back until the day.) One Christmas my two siblings and myself were naturally very excited and couldn't go to sleep until very late. When we did so our (exhausted) parents placed the remaining pressies out and fell into bed. No sooner had they done so than the three of us woke up and stated unwrapping the prezzies with all the noise that three excited young children could muster. 3 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stanley Melrose Posted November 29, 2020 Share Posted November 29, 2020 I still remember the Christmas over 70 years ago when my main present was a Lacey football (i.e a proper leather one with an inner rubber balloon that had to be inflated through a tube that was then tucked inside the leather and the gap sealed with a lace (hence "Lacey". This was placed at the foot of my bed shortly before midnight and my parents went off to sleep. I woke up soon after they left my bedroom, found the football and started to practise my skills by kicking the ball against the bedroom wall. Of course, my bedroom was next door to my parents' and against the wall on their side was the head of their bed so only a few minutes later an irate father confiscated my football and "encouraged" me to return to bed. I think I got the ball back some days later . . . 9 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dickon Posted November 29, 2020 Share Posted November 29, 2020 "What will you have for breakfast, sir?" said the waiter daintily picking his nose. "I'll have two hard boiled eggs, you b*****d. You can't get your fingers in those!" 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted November 29, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 29, 2020 An acquaintance, I won't call him a friend, was asked by his 8 year old daughter if she could have a pony for xmas; she really wanted one. 'Of coursee you can' he said, but there was no pony on xmas morning. As he explained to the tearful child, 'I only said you could have a pony, not that I'd be buying one for you. If you want a pony, get a job and save your money and I'll let you have one...'. The Apple computer. iPad, and iPhone he'd actually bought her and hidden dried the tears effectively enough, but I don't think she'll ever really forgive him, or that he deserves it... 4 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Jonboy Posted November 29, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 29, 2020 My family used to go to our grandparents on Xmas eve (German heritage) for a family gathering. When we got back at around 4 years old my parents had bought me a Thomas and Bertie race set ( https://www.worthpoint.com/worthopedia/thomas-bertie-great-race-battery-1806552553 ). The box was around 2’ x 3’ and they had wrapped it and laid it flat on the floor for when we got home....I promptly sat on top of it to play with the presents from the grandparents and aunts.... 2 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 30, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 30, 2020 1 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gopher Posted November 30, 2020 Share Posted November 30, 2020 17 hours ago, peanuts said: Advice needed! My children keep finding their Christmas presents that I’ve hidden around the house. Someone suggested that I should just keep them in the attic. So I tried that last night, but their constant crying and whining kept me awake. All the “I’m afraid of the dark” or “I don't like it up here - there are spiders” really got on my nerves. Any other suggestions?????… One year my mother hid my presents under my bed - last place I'd have looked 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post 5944 Posted November 30, 2020 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted November 30, 2020 20 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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APOLLO Posted November 30, 2020 Share Posted November 30, 2020 Brit15 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 1, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 1, 2020 FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag;... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread. In her left hand she held a rope; And in her right a whip! She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. Well fifty years or so ago; I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; She's eighty four next week!! Watching Mabel bump and grind; Could not have been much grimmer. And things then went from bad to worse; She toppled off her Zimmer! She struggled back upon her feet; A couple minutes later; She put her teeth back in and said "I am a dominator!!" Now if you knew our Mabel, You'd see just why I spluttered, I'd spent two months in traction For the last complaint I'd uttered. She stood there nude and naked Bent forward just a bit I went to hold her, sensual like and stood on her left tit! Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out; My God what had I done! She moaned and groaned then shouted out: "Step on the other one!!" Well readers, I can tell no more; Of what occurred that day. Suffice to say my jet black hair, Turned fifty shades of grey!! 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post luckymucklebackit Posted December 1, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 1, 2020 A man goes into a baker's Shop and asks for two bread rolls. The shopkeeper picks up two rolls with a pair of tongs and puts them in a paper bag. The man then asks for two cakes. Again, the shopkeeper picks them up with the tongs and puts them in the bag. The man says, "It’s nice to see, that you don’t manhandle the food". The shopkeeper says, "Sir, nothing in my shop is handled by human hands.” The man then noticed a piece of string, hanging from the shopkeeper's trousers and asks: "What’s that piece of string for?” The shopkeeper says, "Well, that's for when I need a pee. I pull on the string and my old boy just pops out.” "Great idea," says the man, “but, pray, tell me how you put it back in?” “Not a problem”, says the shopkeeper… "I just use the tongs" Jim 1 24 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post RFS Posted December 1, 2020 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted December 1, 2020 5 23 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 57 minutes ago, RFS said: Isn't there a Freezer Law that a model railway layout can be completed but never finished? Jim 9 4 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-Jiff Kenobi Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 1 hour ago, luckymucklebackit said: Isn't there a Freezer Law that a model railway layout can be completed but never finished? Jim That comment surely deserves a chilly reception... 5 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 Today i drilled a hole in the bottom of a metal dish made a start on my Advent collander 12 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted December 1, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 1, 2020 Pop music star Olly Murs has a pet parrot. It's called Polly Murs. I'm here all week. More a threat than a promise..... 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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