RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted November 25, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 25, 2020 8 hours ago, Pacific231G said: 8 hours ago, Pacific231G said: The first time I heard that joke it was set in Oklahoma! Smart city type putting one over on slow country folk and wise country folk putting one over on not so smart city types are a rich vein of humour almost everywhere. Is it true that when the railways were nationalised the smart city accountants couldn't understand why, since there were relatively few restaurant cars, BR had needed so many fish plates? I hope so. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 25, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 25, 2020 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted November 25, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 25, 2020 4 4 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 25, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 25, 2020 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted November 25, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 25, 2020 5 hours ago, leopardml2341 said: That actually made me laugh out loud. Good job I'm 'Yorkshire' first and English second See below... 4 hours ago, PhilJ W said: Cue Yorkshiremen jokes. A Lancastrian and a woolyback Yorkshireman were arguing having a robust discussion in a pub. A Southerner walked in...................... 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 25, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 25, 2020 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 25, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 25, 2020 1 9 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post PhilJ W Posted November 25, 2020 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted November 25, 2020 5 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post PhilJ W Posted November 26, 2020 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted November 26, 2020 1 25 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post BR60103 Posted November 26, 2020 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted November 26, 2020 From the guy across the street. One sunny day in January 2021 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr Trump is no longer President and no longer resides here." The old man said, "Okay", and walked away. The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." The Marine repeated, "Sir, as I told you yesterday, Mr Trump is no longer President and no longer resides here." The man thanked him and, again, just walked away. The third day, the old man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying again, "I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." The Marine, understandably irritated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you've been here asking to speak to Trump. I've told you each time that he's no longer the President and no longer resides here. Don't you get it?" The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it." The Marine snapped to attention and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir." 8 4 24 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted November 26, 2020 Share Posted November 26, 2020 9 hours ago, PhilJ W said: Ah! but would they have won Eurovision with "Waterlooville" (doesn't have the same ring to it) 4 2 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post PenrithBeacon Posted November 26, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted November 26, 2020 1 1 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AndrewC Posted November 26, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted November 26, 2020 1 minute ago, PenrithBeacon said: One of our cats jumped up on the desk yesterday and managed to disconnect my Teams meeting by stepping on the laptop keyboard. He got an extra helping of tuna as a reward. 18 1 5 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted November 26, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 26, 2020 Yay, cats rule!!! 4 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted November 26, 2020 Share Posted November 26, 2020 im not a celebrity get me out of tier 2 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 26, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 26, 2020 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 26, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 26, 2020 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 26, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 26, 2020 9 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 26, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 26, 2020 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted November 27, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 27, 2020 I HIRED a handyman and gave him a list of six things that needed doing. When I got home I noticed that he’d only done the first, third and fifth items. Turns out he only does odd jobs! 1 2 12 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted November 27, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 27, 2020 7 hours ago, kevinlms said: I HIRED a handyman and gave him a list of six things that needed doing. When I got home I noticed that he’d only done the first, third and fifth items. Turns out he only does odd jobs! I've made a mental note to revisit this post when the groan button is reinstated. 7 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post ian Posted November 27, 2020 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted November 27, 2020 I've just been to the Optician for my annual eye test. The Optician put a contraption on my face and said "What can you see? " "I see empty Airports and empty Football grounds" I replied. "Anything else?" asked the optician. I replied, "Yes, I see closed theatres, closed pubs and closed Restaurants " "That's perfect" says the Optician, "you've got 2020 vision!" 2 1 20 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted November 27, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 27, 2020 16 minutes ago, ian said: I've just been to the Optician for my annual eye test. The Optician put a contraption on my face and said "What can you see? " "I see empty Airports and empty Football grounds" I replied. "Anything else?" asked the optician. I replied, "Yes, I see closed theatres, closed pubs and closed Restaurants " "That's perfect" says the Optician, "you've got 2020 vision!" I like it but my wife says . . . . . . . . G R O A N 2 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted November 27, 2020 Share Posted November 27, 2020 and so this is Christmas and what have you done? Nowt John, it’s 2020! 5 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 27, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 27, 2020 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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