RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 27, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 27, 2020 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 ....... Too late - the Turkey's dead...... Julian Well, I hope it's dead, given the treatment it is getting.....!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 27, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 27, 2020 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold phil_sutters Posted October 27, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 27, 2020 (edited) Given that the rule of six would restrict Christmas dinner numbers, maybe they would be safe this year Edited October 27, 2020 by phil_sutters 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium BR60103 Posted October 28, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 28, 2020 There were gimmick records. I think there was a horse race one where the outcome depended on which groove you put the needle in. And I have one with about 5 short tracks each side which each terminate so that it doesn't run on. A special programming aid for radio stations. "And the right time is..." 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium BR60103 Posted October 28, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 28, 2020 (edited) An engineer, an accountant and an actuary were on a road trip and they passed a field with a cow in it. The engineer said "The cows are brown in this country." The accountant said "There's one brown cow, at least." The actuary said "Well, it's brown on this side." Edited October 28, 2020 by BR60103 7 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 11 hours ago, jcredfer said: ....... Too late - the Turkey's dead...... Julian Well, I hope it's dead, given the treatment it is getting.....!!! Well you can only have six round for Xmas, but if you claimed that it was the Turkey's funeral you could have 30 round (with drinks and snacks) 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 24 minutes ago, luckymucklebackit said: Well you can only have six round for Xmas, but if you claimed that it was the Turkey's funeral you could have 30 round (with drinks and snacks) Would you have to book it at the Crematorium, where it might get a little overcooked? Julian 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 I see Autumnwatch is back on our screens tonight. I've always hoped that Chris Packham would start the show with a real Mock the Week style "Things You'd Never Hear on Autumnwatch". "Good evening, and on tonight's Autumnwatch we have loads of film of deer fighting and b0nking, 'cos that's all they do at this time of year, fight and b0nk." 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peach james Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 On 21/10/2020 at 03:21, Dave Hunt said: Err, no. I may have been a bit of a rebel but not really stupid with it Dave Chair force ! I got nicked for the same sort of thing as a killick, and did it too as a PO2 once or twice...though at least by the time I made it to the C&PO's side, the pay on the Jr Ranks side was such that it was not quite as bad as it had been... (My Chief Eng here is a retired CPO2, CERA type...and I just had my krusty the klown look shorn off, but that's more due to COVID and reducing exposures than lack of financial ability...the hair can be as long as I want it to be, or my body will grow...(and the 2nd is "much shorter than when I was 19 !" ) 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted October 28, 2020 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted October 28, 2020 (edited) Did everyone remember to put their clocks back to March? Three tiers for Boris. Jokes stolen/borrowed from cover of Private Eye Edited October 28, 2020 by Colin_McLeod 3 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 28, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 28, 2020 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 28, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 28, 2020 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 28, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 28, 2020 1 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 28, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 28, 2020 1 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 28, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 28, 2020 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 28, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 28, 2020 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 28, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 28, 2020 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
manna Posted October 29, 2020 Share Posted October 29, 2020 G'Day Folks 6 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted October 29, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 29, 2020 12 hours ago, PhilJ W said: A couple of Queen songs spring to mind.... 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted October 29, 2020 Share Posted October 29, 2020 5 hours ago, manna said: G'Day Folks Even shorter - "Once upon a time there was a Prince called Stephen the Stupid. A witch turned him into a frog. He stayed that way for the rest of his life." 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted October 29, 2020 Share Posted October 29, 2020 1 hour ago, CameronL said: Even shorter - "Once upon a time there was a Prince called Stephen the Stupid. A witch turned him into a frog. He stayed that way for the rest of his life." Suppose that one might spawn a few more...... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold ikks Posted October 29, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 29, 2020 17 hours ago, PhilJ W said: My goodness, what a bucket load of talent there, how many are still living?? Mike 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocor Posted October 29, 2020 Share Posted October 29, 2020 21 minutes ago, ikks said: My goodness, what a bucket load of talent there, how many are still living?? Mike Not good news I'm afraid. Peter Butterworth, died 1979. Hattie Jacques, died 1980. Kenneth Conner, died 1993. Joan Sims, died 2001. Jack Douglas, died 2008. Barbara Windsor is still alive, though a resident of a care home, suffering from Alzheimer's disease. This posting is a particular downer, being as this is the Forum Jokes Thread. 1 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 29, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 29, 2020 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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