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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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On 26/10/2020 at 11:41, luckymucklebackit said:

 Breaking News just in:  The Liverpool manager has quit and he and his whole family are off back to Germany.

 

 

Yes - The klopp's went back this weekend!

 

Get that groan button pressed!!!

Sixteen 'groans' so far. Is that a record?

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27 minutes ago, luckymucklebackit said:

 

20 likes gets you a "popular post", what does 20 groans get you?

 

A part in the next carry on film?

 

I had one in the F1 thread last week where, appropriate enough, the laughs and groans were racing each other. Last time I checked the groans were ahead 9-7. :D

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4 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said:

 

......and somewhat inevitably, plastic pollution finds its way to the lunar landscape.

 

There's the abandoned car out there too, somewhere...

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1 hour ago, jcredfer said:

 

No, that's made of vinyl, black and has at least one groove on each side.

 

Julian

 

 

Unless there are individual tracks with locked grooves*, all vinyl records have, at most, two grooves.  Unless its a sampler record that came with a mag or from a fan club in the 80s, when it would be single sided with one groove. (I've several Joy Division promo records like that)

 

Some early shellac 78s were also one sided, with one groove.

 

* I'm trying to think of a reason for a vinyl record with locked groove tracks. I can only imagine them being used for  language course records.

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2 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said:

 

20 likes gets you a "popular post", what does 20 groans get you?

 

A part in the next carry on film?

 

I've noticed that the groans aren't counted towards popular post.

 

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47 minutes ago, Hroth said:

 

Unless there are individual tracks with locked grooves*, all vinyl records have, at most, two grooves.  Unless its a sampler record that came with a mag or from a fan club in the 80s, when it would be single sided with one groove. (I've several Joy Division promo records like that)

 

Some early shellac 78s were also one sided, with one groove.

 

* I'm trying to think of a reason for a vinyl record with locked groove tracks. I can only imagine them being used for  language course records.

 

Oh ye of little faith.....

 

True it is that most vinyl double sided round things have a single track ground on each side.  However.....  you have calculated without Monty Python {who else?} and a few other similar minded entertainments.  Specifically their LP of a number of their shows contains three tracks, two on one side a one on the other.  It takes a couple of times to play the record to realise that one side produces two different, 180 deg, opposed, parallel tracks.

 

Julian

 

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