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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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i can not believe the word " gullible " up side down looks like a cat lying down .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you just tried to look at it upside down didnt you !

Edited by peanuts
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16 hours ago, jbqfc said:

After careful study of the Louvre building plans and months of meticulous planning, he was able to evade all the security and stole several priceless paintings.

He then loaded the paintings into his van parked nearby. Just as he was about to leave, he heard the alarm go off in the building.

Without a moment's hesitation, he kicked the van into high gear and sped away. However, his van ran out of gas less than 5 minutes later, and he was caught and arrested by the police.

"I don't understand", Said the police officer. "How could you plan all that so carefully, yet forget to fill up your gas tank?"

To which the thief replied: "But monsieur! Zat is exactly why I stole ze paintings! I had no Monet, to buy Degas, to make ze Van Gogh!"

And I travel all the way across the pond to RMweb for this? :jester:

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1 hour ago, Enterprisingwestern said:

 

If you've got four centipedes at home you should have considerably more than 56 socks I would have thought?

 

Mike.

 

That depends how often they change them.

 

9 hours ago, PhilJ W said:

Are you sure you counted them and its not 55 or 57?

 

It's easy to count socks by pairs. 

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47 minutes ago, Reorte said:

Always buy the same colour socks.

 

Red for left, green for right. Then you can't go wrong.

 

(With apologies to anyone who has red/green colour blindness. I had a colleague who did - we all learned to present our data with multiple differentiators between sets of data - green squares, red circles, etc.)

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40 minutes ago, Dave Hunt said:

My great nephew tells me it is fashionable not to wear socks.

 

Dave

 

It used to be "fashionable" for men to wear flared trousers, too.....   There's many a wedding photo, from that era...   well hidden behind the others, on the mantlepiece.

 

Your nephew, will maybe get over it, given time.

 

Julian

 

Edited by jcredfer
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2 minutes ago, jcredfer said:

 

It used to be "fashionable" for men to wear flared trousers, too.....   There's many a wedding photo, from that era...   well hidden behind the others, on the mantlepiece.

 

Julian

 

Yep - flared trousers, frilly shirt & long hair for the Groom.

Blue eye shadow & long hair with a center parting for the Bride. 

 

Ah, weren't the 70s great.... :no:

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7 minutes ago, F-UnitMad said:

Yep - flared trousers, frilly shirt & long hair for the Groom.

Blue eye shadow & long hair with a center parting for the Bride. 

 

Ah, weren't the 70s great.... :no:

A member of my model railway club passed away about 18 months ago at the ripe old age of 80. On the back of the funeral notice his widow had put their wedding photo from 60 years previously. He was dressed in full teddy boy gear.

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11 minutes ago, F-UnitMad said:

Yep - flared trousers, frilly shirt & long hair for the Groom.

Blue eye shadow & long hair with a center parting for the Bride. 

 

Ah, weren't the 70s great.... :no:

 

With one of those Psychedelic Paisley massive ties...   :jester:

 

I got a {very polite and quiet} telling off, by the Group Captain, for having very long hair, whilst running a Test Team which tried to infiltrate RAF Units, in order to check their security.  He said that he understood that from time to time, we would use civilian attire for the work and longer hair was acceptable - but - hair well past the collar all round, was pushing it.   I got my hair cut!

 

The dark grey pinstriped, flared suit, still hangs in the wardrobe.....    not sure what that says!

 

Julian

 

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