Geevor Clayton Loco Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 INSTRUCTIONS ON FALLING DOWN STAIRS Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 5 Step 9 Step 15 Step 22 Step 35 Floor 1 2 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geevor Clayton Loco Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 I had two dates and pretended to guard one of them. It was the date-a protection act. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geevor Clayton Loco Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 EUROPEAN PIPE SPECIFICATION EC Directive 21-95-32275-EC-666 1. All pipes are to be made of a long hole surrounded by metal or plastic centred around the hole. 2. All pipes must be hollow throughout the entire length of the pipe - do not use holes of a different length to the pipe. 3. The ID (internal diameter) must not exceed the the OD (outside diameter), else the hole will be on the outside. 4. All pipes must be supplied empty, so that water, steam etc can be put in at a later date. 5. All pipes over 500ft (150m) in length, should be marked with the words "LONG PIPE" for ease of identification. 6. All pipes over 2 miles (3.20km) long must also be marked with "LONG PIPE" halfway along so the contractor does not have to walk the full length of the pipe to establish whether or not it is a long pipe. 7. All pipes over 6ft (1.83m) in diameter must have "LARGE PIPE" clearly written on it so the contractor does not mistake it for a small pipe. 8. All pipes must be specified under one of the following categories to prevent accidents: a) A LEVEL pipe b) An UPHILL pipe c) A DOWNHILL pipe This is to prevent water placed in an incorrect pipe from flowing the wrong way on a slope. 9. There are a large number of so called pipes on the market under the 3mm length threshold. These are classified as "WASHERS", and should be used accordingly. 10a. The joints between pipes carrying water, must be water tight. Those pipes carrying air need only be air tight. 10b. Directional joints should be classed as "LEFTHAND" "RIGHTHAND" "UP" or "DOWN" and clearly labelled as such to prevent the contractor from inadvertently laying the pipes so that they are going the wrong way. 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted September 5, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 5, 2020 17 minutes ago, Geevor Clayton Loco said: EUROPEAN PIPE SPECIFICATION EC Directive 21-95-32275-EC-666 1. All pipes are to be made of a long hole surrounded by metal or plastic centred around the hole. 2. All pipes must be hollow throughout the entire length of the pipe - do not use holes of a different length to the pipe. 3. The ID (internal diameter) must not exceed the the OD (outside diameter), else the hole will be on the outside. 4. All pipes must be supplied empty, so that water, steam etc can be put in at a later date. 5. All pipes over 500ft (150m) in length, should be marked with the words "LONG PIPE" for ease of identification. 6. All pipes over 2 miles (3.20km) long must also be marked with "LONG PIPE" halfway along so the contractor does not have to walk the full length of the pipe to establish whether or not it is a long pipe. 7. All pipes over 6ft (1.83m) in diameter must have "LARGE PIPE" clearly written on it so the contractor does not mistake it for a small pipe. 8. All pipes must be specified under one of the following categories to prevent accidents: a) A LEVEL pipe b) An UPHILL pipe c) A DOWNHILL pipe This is to prevent water placed in an incorrect pipe from flowing the wrong way on a slope. 9. There are a large number of so called pipes on the market under the 3mm length threshold. These are classified as "WASHERS", and should be used accordingly. 10a. The joints between pipes carrying water, must be water tight. Those pipes carrying air need only be air tight. 10b. Directional joints should be classed as "LEFTHAND" "RIGHTHAND" "UP" or "DOWN" and clearly labelled as such to prevent the contractor from inadvertently laying the pipes so that they are going the wrong way. That is as translated from a two line note by the British civil servants. 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 3 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geevor Clayton Loco Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 How do you describe a pun you thought of yourself? Home groan. 3 6 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 13 hours ago, Geevor Clayton Loco said: EUROPEAN PIPE SPECIFICATION EC Directive 21-95-32275-EC-666 1. All pipes are to be made of a long hole surrounded by metal or plastic centred around the hole. 2. All pipes must be hollow throughout the entire length of the pipe - do not use holes of a different length to the pipe. 3. The ID (internal diameter) must not exceed the the OD (outside diameter), else the hole will be on the outside. 4. All pipes must be supplied empty, so that water, steam etc can be put in at a later date. 5. All pipes over 500ft (150m) in length, should be marked with the words "LONG PIPE" for ease of identification. 6. All pipes over 2 miles (3.20km) long must also be marked with "LONG PIPE" halfway along so the contractor does not have to walk the full length of the pipe to establish whether or not it is a long pipe. 7. All pipes over 6ft (1.83m) in diameter must have "LARGE PIPE" clearly written on it so the contractor does not mistake it for a small pipe. 8. All pipes must be specified under one of the following categories to prevent accidents: a) A LEVEL pipe b) An UPHILL pipe c) A DOWNHILL pipe This is to prevent water placed in an incorrect pipe from flowing the wrong way on a slope. 9. There are a large number of so called pipes on the market under the 3mm length threshold. These are classified as "WASHERS", and should be used accordingly. 10a. The joints between pipes carrying water, must be water tight. Those pipes carrying air need only be air tight. 10b. Directional joints should be classed as "LEFTHAND" "RIGHTHAND" "UP" or "DOWN" and clearly labelled as such to prevent the contractor from inadvertently laying the pipes so that they are going the wrong way. I worked in a steel tube mill for many years and part of my job was to review customer specifications. Shell once submitted one for linepipe for the north sea, it specified the OD, Bore and Wall Thickness with a tolerance for each and if you rolled these pipes to the maximum wall thickness allowed, even if you were at maximum OD then you would be out of spec for the Bore. We always rolled to maximum wall Thickness in order to be able to grind away surface defects and still be in tolerance, so it went back to Shell for alterations Jim 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Legend Posted September 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 6, 2020 On 01/09/2020 at 21:46, Baby Deltic said: well that one had be burst out laughing ! Good one 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinty3f Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 Onya and Karl married way back in Imperial Russia. Karl went on to become a well known political theorist, whilst Onya is credited with inventing the starting pistol. 1 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted September 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 6, 2020 56 minutes ago, Jinty3f said: Onya and Karl married way back in Imperial Russia. Karl went on to become a well known political theorist, whilst Onya is credited with inventing the starting pistol. I dare say you're right about Onya but Karl was born in Trier in the Rhineland-Palatinate, at the time part of the Kingdom of Prussia. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post kevinlms Posted September 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted September 6, 2020 A lady goes to her priest one day and confesses, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." What do they say?" the priest inquires curiously. The woman blushes as she explains that the two female birds repeat the same phrase over and over: "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" That's obscene!" the priest exclaims. After a few moments of deliberation, however, he offers a solution. "You know," he says, "I have two male parrots, very devout birds, whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your female parrots to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship and speak in a more appropriate manner." "Thank you," the woman responds, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brings her two female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushers her in, she sees his two male parrots inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walks over and places her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female birds cry out in unison: "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" There is a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!" 2 2 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 7 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 1 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 1 hour ago, kevinlms said: A lady goes to her priest one day and confesses,........ We definitely need a "posted before" button. Or maybe a "funnier the first time" button? "Not funny the first time" is, of course, rather subject to opinion. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted September 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 6, 2020 Or even: "Grows on me with repetition"? 2 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted September 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 6, 2020 2 2 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted September 6, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 6, 2020 6 minutes ago, PhilJ W said: To be pedantic, turning other peoples’ tvs into heroin... 2 6 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Dagworth Posted September 6, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 6, 2020 23 minutes ago, PhilJ W said: Anyone else here know Pip Wilson? He used this as a signature for years. Andi Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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