RMweb Gold 96701 Posted August 31, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 31, 2020 Speaking of cheese........ 1 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted August 31, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 31, 2020 43 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said: Tut Tut. Isn't that intolerant to cheese? Is it becoz I is Stilton... 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted September 1, 2020 Share Posted September 1, 2020 1 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted September 1, 2020 Share Posted September 1, 2020 (edited) (if you want to download this and personalise it for another town, the font is called "Transport Heavy" and it's available here). Edited September 1, 2020 by CameronL Clanger in the image 9 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted September 2, 2020 Share Posted September 2, 2020 7 hours ago, CameronL said: This was my take on the 'careful drivers' sign, in the foreground on my layout "Portway Center" from a few years ago.... The advertising hoarding in the background copied a good pun tagline from an American layout of the 1950s. "OLD's Fuels - there's no fuel like an OLD fuel". Sorry 4 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted September 2, 2020 Share Posted September 2, 2020 If your rice is too soggy just leave it overnight in a bowl of mobile phones. steve 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Baby Deltic Posted September 2, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted September 2, 2020 1 1 16 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted September 2, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 2, 2020 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PenrithBeacon Posted September 2, 2020 Share Posted September 2, 2020 2 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted September 2, 2020 Share Posted September 2, 2020 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted September 2, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 2, 2020 17 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted September 3, 2020 Share Posted September 3, 2020 The Real Instructions for Assembling a Barbecue Attach bracket A to base B and secure with screw C Pierce ball of thumb D with screwdriver E Bleed - type AB Swear word - F Take kitchen roll G, wrap inconveniently large piece around ball of thumb - D Swear word F Attach legs H to base B with screws I Attach charcoal pan J, taking care to avoid sharp corners Gash knee K Hurt like L Bleed, type AB Swear word - F Take kitchen roll G, stuff inconveniently large piece through hole in trousers around knee K Fasten heat-shield M to pan J with screws N Make exclamation of surprise O Take kitchen roll G, replace inconveniently large and now blood-soaked piece around ball of thumb D Fasten warming tray P in heat-shield M Place grill tray Q in heat-shield M Bend down to pick up toolbox R, trip over family pet S Land on barbecue. Swear word F Caution: It may be necessary to repeat this stage more than once Throw twisted metal T in undergrowth U Head for comfy chair V Pour very large whisky W Drink Caution: It may be necessary to repeat this stage more than once Go cross-eyed X Ask question Y (bother) Fall asleep ZZZ (Personally I think B&Q should have a medical supplies section). 2 2 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted September 4, 2020 Share Posted September 4, 2020 sreve 6 1 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post StevieD71 Posted September 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted September 4, 2020 24 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted September 4, 2020 Share Posted September 4, 2020 A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in process. A sign read: "Don't Miss The Amazing Scotsman". The salesman bought a ticket and sat down. There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Scotsman. Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out his huge member and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd. Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw the faded sign for the same circus and the same sign, "Don't Miss The Amazing Scotsman". He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive much less still doing his act! He bought a ticket. Again, the centre ring was illuminated. This time however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table. The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and smashed the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member. The crowd went wild! Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show. "You're incredible!" he told the Scotsman. "But I have to know something, you're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?" "Well," said the Scot, "Me eyes are nae whit they used to be!!." 2 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 2 11 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted September 5, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 5, 2020 24 minutes ago, raymw said: If Clinton had got in, she'd have stolen the pencils, and then denied it. Trump wouldn't know which end of a pencil to use! 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 3 minutes ago, kevinlms said: Trump wouldn't know which end of a pencil to use! I don't know. He's always signing things.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted September 5, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 5, 2020 37 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said: I don't know. He's always signing things.... You can use either end of a crayon. 2 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 But you can even buy Donald Trump pens. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
great central Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 1 hour ago, Steamport Southport said: I don't know. He's always signing things.... So is this fella 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 3 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 1 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geevor Clayton Loco Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 1 hour ago, Baby Deltic said: I saw that happen once, but the trailer (minus boat) went in first and somehow the van jacknifed it and ended up on top of the trailer. It was low tide as well, and as the tide came up the whole lot dissapeared so they had to put warning buoys around it and wait till low tide the next day to pull it out! 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now