RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted August 25, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 25, 2020 (edited) A woman went to the doctors office, where she was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and told her to go relax in another room. The older doctor marched down hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT?" The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Well, yes I did! But I bet her hiccups are gone now!" Edited August 25, 2020 by Sidecar Racer 1 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 True tale..... The Dentist on an RAF Stn I was posted to, was a really pleasant and amusing guy to share a G&T with. The Groupie took him to one side, one evening, to have a little "chat" about some complaints which had got to him from some of the wives. They all said that they liked the Dentist very much, but complained that he was brusk to the point of rudeness, the in the Surgery. The Dentist replied by asking if any of the complaints were about painful treatment, which the Groupie confirmed there were none. Having explained that the brusk approach in the Surgery was a deliberate distraction from the treatment, he promised that he would be his normal self in the Surgery, but added that that would result in complaints about the pain from the treatment. He was correct, you can't win them all, apparently. Julian 6 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthBrit Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 I went to the car showroom and saw a Flat PANDA 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peach james Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 On 10/08/2020 at 06:57, kevinlms said: WW1 caused major problems, as up to that time regiments etc were made up from localities. In Australia, large numbers of soldiers were decimated leaving whole districts with a shortage of men. So much so, that Australian military started assigning men to regiments randomly. There is a _reason_ why 1st July is Memorial day in Newfoundland, not Canada Day. The worst case was probably the Royal Newfoundland Regiment, where in one day, they had >83% casualties. Since the RNR had been recruited from the Church Lads Brigade, it contained a very high proportion of the sons of the leadership of NL at the time (the sons of the merchants...). I spent 2 years in NL in uniform, at Marine Institute of Memorial University. 1/2 of my class of stokers were newf's... (John, Tony, Edward, Rob, Sheldon) PO2 James Powell RCN (Retired) 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted August 25, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 25, 2020 59 minutes ago, peach james said: There is a _reason_ why 1st July is Memorial day in Newfoundland, not Canada Day. The worst case was probably the Royal Newfoundland Regiment, where in one day, they had >83% casualties. Since the RNR had been recruited from the Church Lads Brigade, it contained a very high proportion of the sons of the leadership of NL at the time (the sons of the merchants...). PO2 James Powell RCN (Retired) Newfoundland was an independent nation until 1949 when it joined with Canada. The loss of so many young men and the depression had hit the nation hard. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted August 25, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 25, 2020 And back to jokes . Talk about coincidence - BBC NEWS: Three Cliff Walkers have fallen to their death on an expedition.... Can't believe they all had the same name... 1 10 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
simontaylor484 Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 Sounds like he related to the bloke who always finds dead bodies Dog Walker 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted August 25, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 25, 2020 Any relation to Bill Posters? 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
simontaylor484 Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 24 minutes ago, The Johnster said: Any relation to Bill Posters? He was innocent 1 1 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amand Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 3 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 23 minutes ago, Amand said: WHHHHAAAAT!!!! 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted August 26, 2020 Share Posted August 26, 2020 I heard "The Ballad of Barry and Freda (Let's do it!)" by Victoria Wood on the radio recently. Lyrics here and YouTube here if you've never heard it. It's an hilarious song about a couple for whom the romance has long gone. One night Freda tries to rekindle it with some suggestions of things she and Barry might try, all starting with "Let's do it.. ' Barry, in the other hand isn't up for this and replies to each one with "I can't do it..." and details all the other mundane things he'd rather be doing. Towards the end of the song Freda has a verse which isn't answered by Barry and, feeling in a creative mood, I wondered what the missing "I can't do it .." might be. I came up with something which might strike a note with members of this parish. So, when Freda says - Let's do it! Let's do it! I really want to run amok. Let's wiggle. Let's jiggle. Let's really make the rafters rock. Be mighty. Be flighty. Come and melt the buttons on me flameproof nightie. Let's do it! Let's do it tonight! Barry's replyy could be - I can't do it I can't do it. Me passion-seeking nights are done. I can't do it I can't do it Me model railway's much more fun So I'm saying "Not playing," Twenty feet of track's the only thing I'm laying I can't do it I can't do it tonight Anyone who feels that this is too close to home to be funny should maybe read the lyrics and take some inspiration from Freda. 1 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted August 26, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 26, 2020 14 hours ago, Amand said: Say its not so!!!!! 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted August 26, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 26, 2020 20 hours ago, simontaylor484 said: Sounds like he related to the bloke who always finds dead bodies Dog Walker Friends labrador found two bodies on separate occasions... They were very worried after the second! 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Stubby47 Posted August 26, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 26, 2020 15 hours ago, Amand said: Me: Sorry son, Santa didn't make it through the pandemic. Son: Good thing you're here then to pick up the slack. Me: ….. 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthBrit Posted August 26, 2020 Share Posted August 26, 2020 Children. Don't believe the lies. Santa is alive. 3 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted August 26, 2020 Share Posted August 26, 2020 (edited) I was going out with an Austrian girl and they have Krampus. What the hell is all that about? If you are good you get presents from Santa. If you are bad then you get a visit from Krampus. Edited August 26, 2020 by Steamport Southport 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted August 26, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 26, 2020 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Jamiel Posted August 26, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 26, 2020 I suspect that I might be in a group susceptible falling through the ‘Test and Trace app’. Grumpy old men who are pig sick of Apple and Smart phones with a battery life of 15 seconds. I suspect this might be ‘wry’ rather than funny, or maybe just grumpy. Anyway that is the phone I have after a few years of hating an I-phone, it makes phone calls, and importantly only needs charging once a week, if that and I suspect that will not have its operating system updated in order to make it obsolete and force you to buy a new one. It also has advanced gaming........ Snake! 9 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Binky Posted August 26, 2020 Share Posted August 26, 2020 3 hours ago, PhilJ W said: Is that a shunter's pole or one of his bill hooks? 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted August 26, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 26, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Jamiel said: I suspect that I might be in a group susceptible falling through the ‘Test and Trace app’. Grumpy old men who are pig sick of Apple and Smart phones with a battery life of 15 seconds. I suspect this might be ‘wry’ rather than funny, or maybe just grumpy. Anyway that is the phone I have after a few years of hating an I-phone, it makes phone calls, and importantly only needs charging once a week, if that and I suspect that will not have its operating system updated in order to make it obsolete and force you to buy a new one. It also has advanced gaming........ Snake! You only need to charge it once a week because it is of such limited use to you (I love my iPhone 11 and want to have it's babies)... 12 hours ago, CameronL said: Anyone who feels that this is too close to home to be funny should maybe read the lyrics and take some inspiration from Freda. I can't do it, I won't do it, Even if you dress up like a whore I can't do it, Don't put me through it Until I get me Bachmann 94, (which will be) xx rated, you know I would hate it If you so much as jumped on my bones, I need to fix me turnouts, me sex drive's all gone burnout and I rather play with trains all on me own I do'wanna, get on top'o'ya I do'wanna do it from behind I'd much rather wrassle with a Hornby Castle or a pannier or prairie's on me mind Don't sit on my face it's a big disgrace Smokey Joe and Thomas are lined up for a race I won't do it, I won't do it with yoooooooooooo! Apologies to Cameron, and Victoria Wood. Edited August 26, 2020 by The Johnster 3 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted August 27, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 27, 2020 21 hours ago, PhilJ W said: 17 hours ago, Binky said: Is that a shunter's pole or one of his bill hooks? Is that a shunters pole, or are you just pleased to see me? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted August 27, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 27, 2020 22 hours ago, PhilJ W said: Is she Polly? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted August 27, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 27, 2020 8 minutes ago, kevinlms said: Is she Polly? No, that's Nellie. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now