KeithMacdonald Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 10 minutes ago, 2750Papyrus said: 'Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."' Suit yourself. We'll go to the church font instead. 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 5 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: Nottingham was originally Snottingham and the people called Snotts. The Normans changed this and called it Nottingham with the people called Notts. The people of Scunthorpe kept quiet.... The people of Goole still keep quiet... 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 Best thing was that joke was on Radio Four Extra at Half Five in the morning! And had previously been broadcast in the teatime slot. Got to love a bit of Humphrey Lyttleton. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 (edited) Insulted, by being denied service, they head for the ALGERIAN Capital. Julian Edited August 4, 2020 by jcredfer 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted August 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 4, 2020 Milk before tea in the cup? 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post PhilJ W Posted August 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted August 4, 2020 5 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
andytrains Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 1 hour ago, PhilJ W said: But they are just as stupid as us for not social distancing! 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted August 5, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 5, 2020 10 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: New facemask design to aid lipreaders... I SAID gottle og geer!!! 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymw Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 . 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 Strange also that I might get arrested for entering a bank - if I am not wearing a mask. 1 3 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 Girl I was going out with nearly got arrested for wearing a helmet in a Post Office. Seriously, she was going along. Decided she needed a stamp. Stopped by a Post Office and went in still wearing her lid. Panic button was pressed.... Sorted out in seconds when she realised and removed it. But police still turned up and she got a ticking off. Jason 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
simontaylor484 Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 2 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: Girl I was going out with nearly got arrested for wearing a helmet in a Post Office. Seriously, she was going along. Decided she needed a stamp. Stopped by a Post Office and went in still wearing her lid. Panic button was pressed.... Sorted out in seconds when she realised and removed it. But police still turned up and she got a ticking off. Jason There was a story doing the rounds at the start of the pandemic that an old guy went into a post office in Barnsley with a pillowcase with eyeholes cut out over his head. Dont know why but it reminds me of the Citizen Smith episode where someone's mum handknits them skimasks but puts their name on so they know whos who 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 Freedom For Tooting! 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-Jiff Kenobi Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 Come the revolution, citizen, you’ll be first against the wall! 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
simontaylor484 Posted August 5, 2020 Share Posted August 5, 2020 Power to the people Tooting people s front 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted August 6, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 6, 2020 20 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: Girl I was going out with nearly got arrested for wearing a helmet in a Post Office. Seriously, she was going along. Decided she needed a stamp. Stopped by a Post Office and went in still wearing her lid. Panic button was pressed.... Sorted out in seconds when she realised and removed it. But police still turned up and she got a ticking off. Jason Blonde?? Mike. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 (edited) 17 hours ago, Obi-Jiff Kenobi said: Come the revolution, citizen, you’ll be first against the wall! "Come the revolution" - there will be committees to decide - Which wall to use What rifles to use How many rounds in each How many people should be in the firing squad How to select them (preference given to card-carrying Party members of good standing) How many Party members should command the firing squad (at least 3 so they can watch each other mistrustfully) What to do with the bodies afterwards How will it be reported back to the Party (in other words how the running dogs of the former regime met their just desserts) Not to mention the risk assessment of the chance of a ricochet off the wall hitting a member of the firing squad. You'd more likely die of old age. Edited August 6, 2020 by CameronL Added a bit 1 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted August 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 6, 2020 You forgot the Commissar to report back to the party any deviations from the party line. 2 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted August 6, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 6, 2020 You'll also need someone to liaise with the People's Front of Judea. Mike. 4 2 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 2 minutes ago, Enterprisingwestern said: You'll also need someone to liaise with the People's Front of Judea. And the Judean People's Front, and the Judean Popular People's Front. 5 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 SPLITTER!!! 5 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted August 6, 2020 Share Posted August 6, 2020 1st Revolutionary: "Come the Revolution, brother, everyone will drive a Rolls-Royce!" 2nd Revolutionary: "What if I don't want to drive a Rolls-Royce?" 1st Revolutionary: "Come the Revolution, brother, you'll drive what you're told to!" 1 1 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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