RMweb Gold chris p bacon Posted August 3, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 3, 2020 55 minutes ago, Jamiel said: Perhaps you could compile an inventory of all the jokes in the 473 pages of this thread, so that when someone sees a something funny that might cheer some people up, they can consult that first to make sure that a small minority are not upset by it being repeated? Sometimes it's not the fact that jokes are repeated (most are anyway) but that they are repeated within days or even hours. There's always the search facility if you're not sure. 2 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Jamiel Posted August 3, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 3, 2020 (edited) 16 minutes ago, chris p bacon said: Sometimes it's not the fact that jokes are repeated (most are anyway) but that they are repeated within days or even hours. There's always the search facility if you're not sure. You are right, and I, and many other posters do that, but unfortunately it doesn't work for images. I usually check the last couple of pages to see if someone has posted the joke, especially if it has been doing the rounds on Facebook. If you get distracted and quickly post it happens too. Judging by the number of likes to my recent posts there were a few people who found the joke funny, and so presumably enjoyed it for the moment and hadn’t seen it recently. Sometimes I just miss that a joke has been posted, even after a quick check, but personally I don’t think it is the worst thing in the world to try and spread a little happiness (Sting, but it was a cover version, so another repeat), and if a few repeated posts are the price of that, then I am not too worried. Edited August 3, 2020 by Jamiel 5 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 I've just seen Sting shopping in our village. Problem is, he really didn't get the whole social distancing thing. People had to say to him "Sting! Don't stand so close to me!" Then a busload of Buster Bloodvessel lookalikes turned up, and they didn't get it either. It was really a shame to see so many examples of Bad Manners. 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted August 3, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 3, 2020 16 hours ago, newbryford said: People under 5'11"? No problem! I'll only drink shorts! 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted August 3, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 3, 2020 My Niece has started her own business. It's an ice cream parlour. In this hot weather, she opens the parlour every day. Even sundaes..... 2 3 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
simontaylor484 Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 Could do with a boom tish button 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 Will that do? 7 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 1 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted August 4, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 4, 2020 (edited) On 03/08/2020 at 08:21, Baby Deltic said: For Sale: Cigarette lighter for a DeLorean Coupe. Nearly new, one careful owner... Edited August 4, 2020 by tomparryharry yes. 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 On 02/08/2020 at 23:33, newbryford said: Expect sales of this stuff to go through the roof then,,, 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Jamiel Posted August 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 4, 2020 Albert Einstein is rightly celebrated for his scientific achievements, but it is sad that his work in the field of hairdressing is often overlooked, after all he was the inventor of the lockdown hairstyle. 8 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted August 4, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 4, 2020 On 03/08/2020 at 06:51, Enterprisingwestern said: triangles have straight edges. Not in non-Eucliden geometry. 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 (edited) Acknowledgement (c) Blower’s cartoon in today’s Telegraph Edited August 4, 2020 by KeithMacdonald Acknowledgement (c) Blower’s cartoon in today’s Telegraph 7 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 Nottingham was originally Snottingham and the people called Snotts. The Normans changed this and called it Nottingham with the people called Notts. The people of Scunthorpe kept quiet.... 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
simontaylor484 Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 Who put the $#@$ in Scunthorpe? 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted August 4, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 4, 2020 21 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: Will that do? I can't believe that a monkey is getting better jokes than me! 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted August 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 4, 2020 My wife's reaction when she see's a spider. 6 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted August 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 4, 2020 2 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 8 minutes ago, PhilJ W said: Does my bum look big in this? 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted August 4, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 4, 2020 49 minutes ago, PhilJ W said: My wife's reaction when she see's a spider. I can see our house from here. Mike. 3 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted August 4, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted August 4, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, simontaylor484 said: Who put the $#@$ in Scunthorpe? Makes me wonder who put the ram in the rama lama ding d0ng. Edited August 4, 2020 by J. S. Bach 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post Budgie Posted August 4, 2020 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted August 4, 2020 A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly. A bar was walked into by the passive voice. An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening. Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.” A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite. Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything. A question mark walks into a bar? A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly. Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type." A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart. A synonym strolls into a tavern. At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack. A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment. Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor. A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered. An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel. The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known. A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph. The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense. A dyslexic walks into a bra. A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines. An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars. A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget. A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony. 3 15 2 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted August 4, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 4, 2020 47 minutes ago, Budgie said: Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type." "But surely, the Algerians, Romans & Egyptians can stay? " "OK, but put the Baskerville on a lead". Poor Richard! 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted August 4, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted August 4, 2020 4 hours ago, tomparryharry said: I can't believe that a monkey is getting better jokes than me! I can... 2 hours ago, Budgie said: A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite. Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything This is the very porpoise of having pubs in the first place... 1 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
2750Papyrus Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 'Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."' I didn't want to drink there anyway..... 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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