RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted July 27, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 27, 2020 Or realistic and practical as us truly bitter cynics call it... 1 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 Too much overthinking in the jokes thread again... 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted July 27, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 27, 2020 6 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said: You will spin in your grave (at a suitably modelled rate of rotation) Like one of those US wheelslip videos? 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Baby Deltic Posted July 28, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted July 28, 2020 20 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Stage 2 ... You think DCC is an arcane art that involves wearing black robes and sacrificing chickens. What - it doesn't?? 1 7 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted July 28, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 28, 2020 1 hour ago, luckymucklebackit said: Stage 2 ... You think DCC is an arcane art that involves wearing black robes and sacrificing chickens. What - it doesn't?? Sacrificial chooks are for when you first start using DCC and have fallen for "You just need two wires" scam. Sheep, goats and bulls follow as you fall deeper into the rabbit hole.... 1 1 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 4 minutes ago, Hroth said: Sacrificial chooks are for when you first start using DCC and have fallen for "You just need two wires" scam. Sheep, goats and bulls follow as you fall deeper into the rabbit hole.... This Just proves that there is something mystical about it, Dwarves, Goblins, Rangers, Runes... http://artifactsandrelics.blogspot.com/2016/09/a-new-dcc-class-for-goblins-halflings.html Jim 4 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted July 28, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 28, 2020 Its not easy practising the dark arts nowadays, have you seen the price of virgins recently? Thats if you can get them. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold ian Posted July 28, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 28, 2020 1 hour ago, PhilJ W said: Its not easy practising the dark arts nowadays, have you seen the price of virgins recently? Thats if you can get them. They're called Avanti's now around here. 1 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Reorte Posted July 28, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 28, 2020 2 hours ago, Hroth said: Sacrificial chooks are for when you first start using DCC and have fallen for "You just need two wires" scam. Sheep, goats and bulls follow as you fall deeper into the rabbit hole.... You do only need two wires. Perhaps cut up in to lots of shorter lengths mind. 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted July 28, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 28, 2020 54 minutes ago, Reorte said: You do only need two wires. Perhaps cut up in to lots of shorter lengths mind. You mean like short bits of string, that are only useful for tying parcels to pigeons? 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 51 minutes ago, kevinlms said: You mean like short bits of string, that are only useful for tying parcels to pigeons? Simpsons Individual Stringettes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qNj-QFZbew 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted July 28, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 28, 2020 4 hours ago, PhilJ W said: Its not easy practising the dark arts nowadays, have you seen the price of virgins recently? Thats if you can get them. You can't round here, even ugly ones. Why wasn't Jesus born in Merthyr? Couldn't find 3 wise men. Why wasn't he born in Cardiff? Couldn't find a virgin. As for 2 wires, I've only got 4 on my DC controlled layout, alright, more for the Dapol working signals and another pair for station and signalbox lighting, then at least one more for the proposed yard lighting, so no way I'd go for DCC if I could afford it which I can't, only 2 wires and a solid 12 volts at all times, sounds, lights, etc... Actually it's probably the second thing I'm going to do if I big win the lottery, soon as I've got over the hangover! 1 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, PhilJ W said: Its not easy practising the dark arts nowadays, have you seen the price of virgins recently? Thats if you can get them. You need a good online comparison site. I always use VirGo Compare. Edited July 28, 2020 by CameronL Bad grammar. 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted July 28, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 28, 2020 7 hours ago, Hroth said: Sacrificial chooks are for when you first start using DCC and have fallen for "You just need two wires" scam. Sheep, goats and bulls follow as you fall deeper into the rabbit hole.... Must be a bloody great rabbit hole? Mike. 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post CameronL Posted July 29, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted July 29, 2020 (edited) One evening Norman had finished playing trains testing the electrics on his little GWR BLT and turned on his laptop to have a look on eBay for any suitable bargains. He found the following entry - For Sale: collection of OO gauge 1930s era GWR rolling stock. Buyer must collect. £20. There wasn't even a picture. Well, you don't get a lot for £20, so he thought it was probably just a few wagons. However, there might be one little nugget in the collection, and the seller wasn't far away, so he put a bid in, and an hour later when the sale ended he'd won the lot. Messages were exchanged with the vendor and a time agreed for him to pick the collection up the next evening. It was in a part of town he wasn't very familiar with - big houses, tree-lined roads - the kind of place where the neighbourhood kids don't ring the doorbells and run away: they have someone to do it for them. The address he was heading for was a substantial house wth a gated drive in extensive grounds. He drove up to the porticoed front door and rang the doorbell. A very elegant elderly lady answered and, once she'd established who he was, asked him in. He waded through the thick-pile carpet into a room containing a dining table which could probably seat 20 and was absolutely covered in GWR stock. Engines from little 14xx 0-4-2s to hulking 28xx heavy freight engines: Kings, Castles and Halls, a plethora of prairies and panniers, even rarities like The Great Bear handbuilt in brass. And the coaches! Autocoaches, B-sets, even a complete rake of the Cornish Riviera Express that itself would stretch from the buffers into the fiddle yard of Norman's little BLT. Several hundred wagons completed the list. Norman was in a quandary. What could he do with such a magnificent collection? There was far too much for his little layout. He could break it up and sell individual pieces for a huge profit, but it would be such a shame to do that. Could he convince his local Model Railway Club to start a club layout where all this excellent stock could find a good home? He decided he'd get the stock first, and worry about what to do with it after. But was the price accurate? Had the lady missed two or even three zeroes off the amount? On asking she insisted that Yes, it was £20. Norman loaded his car with a song in his heart. Loading finished, he asked the lady "If you don't mind, why are you selling all this, and for such a bargain price?" "Well," the lady replied. "I will be 60 next month. Last month should have been my 35th wedding anniversary, but three months ago my rat of a husband ran off with a 27-year-old dental hygienist called Stacey. But things didn't go well. Last month he got made redundant, and last week he sent me a text saying 'I need money. Sell the railway stock.' So that's £20 please." ---------------------------- Adapted for the wonderful world of railway modelling from the song Red Corvette by John McCutcheon. Edited July 29, 2020 by CameronL Typo 4 19 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold chris p bacon Posted July 29, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 29, 2020 On the theme of above, and this is a true story. About 20 years ago I owned a couple of terraced cottages in Sandy, I had reduced the gardens to make a building plot (they had 150') and in the interim rented them out. One of them had a PITA tenant who was very lax with paying his rent and ultimately left me with bills to pay when I kicked him out. I had taken him as he had good references and was smartly dressed in Hugo Boss suits with a very good job (I'll call him J). He had a girlfriend (I'll call her L) who was very nice but she had a 'look' that gave you the feeling that if you annoyed her she would not take prisoners. Cutting a long story short L knocked at the door one evening and asked if I could let her in as she had left her key inside, this had happened several times so I popped over and opened the door for her and went home. Later I had J visit and it seems that L had gone in and cut all the groin area from his suits and pretty much trashed everything he had. He said it was my fault for letting her in but I pointed out they had rented the property together and I was not to know they were having 'Issues' I contacted L and asked what was going on and it seems that during a period of 'Intimacy' he had called her a different name and so she followed him when he was supposed to be seeing a client and caught him in the act. She cut every single item of clothing he had apart from what he was wearing and then scratched 'see you next tuesday' on his car. I had a feeling she wasn't happy so thought it best not to ask for her key back.....He lasted 7 more days before being kicked out. As far as I know from about 2 years ago he is still with the one he went off with, which would have been about 16/17 years . 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted July 29, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 29, 2020 Reminds me of a Just Good Friends episode. Mike. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted July 29, 2020 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted July 29, 2020 Crisp p I was waiting for the punchline. 2 1 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
great central Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 Similar story with a car, friend of mine saw an ad for a Rover, P6 variety, price was £50. This would be about the time the SD1 replaced it so 1976-77? Expecting something none too great he went to have a look. Turns out it's a two year old, absolute mint condition 3500 with less than 10k on the clock, kept in a heated garage. He bought the car and cherished it for many years. 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 6 hours ago, Colin_McLeod said: Crisp p I was waiting for the punchline. It would seem that she was satisfied with being rid of him and avoided the possibility of a complicated adversarial court case involving said pugilistic attack. Clever girl. Julian 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarrettTheThief Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 (edited) Me: Did you steal my thesaurus? Horse: Nope. (stolen from Twitter) Edited July 29, 2020 by GarrettTheThief Fixed a typo 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post The Johnster Posted July 29, 2020 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted July 29, 2020 Happy ending story; when the lottery first started up and before we'd all got it into our heads that you need 6 numbers and the bonus ball to get real money, friend of ming was in a syndicate in his local pub, a fairly rough one on the western edge of the city. 'Bout 3 weeks in, they came up with 5 balls, which sounded like at least £20k each they reckoned, and proceeded to drink the place dry on tick. My friend, we'll call him Dave to protect the guilty (and because it is his name), woke up with a very attractive 19 year old barmaid who he vaguely remembering exchanging bodily fluids the night before, and they had breakfast and made their way to the pub, which had restocked and was well into another drinking dry on tick session. He woke up with her again the following morning, and this time they had breakfast before going to the pub to find out how many 10s of thousands they were now in possession of. Turned out they were in for about £80 each which was about enough, amongst the whole syndicate, to cover 75% of the bar bill. The landlord, as culpable as the rest, decided to call it quits and forget it, and they all went home to cancel their orders for new tvs, cars, hollies in the pyjamas and so on, sadder but a little wiser. Except Dave, with a big grin on his face. He took the barmaid home again, since she was still smiling back at him. They are now happy grandparents and still potty about each other; I'd call that a happy ending, wouldn't you! 20 2 2 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted July 30, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 30, 2020 7 hours ago, The Johnster said: Happy ending story; when the lottery first started up and before we'd all got it into our heads that you need 6 numbers and the bonus ball to get real money, friend of ming was in a syndicate in his local pub, a fairly rough one on the western edge of the city. 'Bout 3 weeks in, they came up with 5 balls, which sounded like at least £20k each they reckoned, and proceeded to drink the place dry on tick. My friend, we'll call him Dave to protect the guilty (and because it is his name), woke up with a very attractive 19 year old barmaid who he vaguely remembering exchanging bodily fluids the night before, and they had breakfast and made their way to the pub, which had restocked and was well into another drinking dry on tick session. He woke up with her again the following morning, and this time they had breakfast before going to the pub to find out how many 10s of thousands they were now in possession of. Turned out they were in for about £80 each which was about enough, amongst the whole syndicate, to cover 75% of the bar bill. The landlord, as culpable as the rest, decided to call it quits and forget it, and they all went home to cancel their orders for new tvs, cars, hollies in the pyjamas and so on, sadder but a little wiser. Except Dave, with a big grin on his face. He took the barmaid home again, since she was still smiling back at him. They are now happy grandparents and still potty about each other; I'd call that a happy ending, wouldn't you! Best eighty quid he's ever spent. Mike. 9 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 2 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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