RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted May 10, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 10, 2020 A man on the London Underground taught his dog to play the trumpet. He went from Barking to Tooting in an hour. Hat and coat ready. 1 1 12 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted May 10, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 10, 2020 Oh Philip. Triple stamps. August 7th 2018. March 4th 2015. Oh dear oh dear oh dear!! Mike. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geevor Clayton Loco Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 PRINTER BROKEN PRINTER: BOB MARLEY PROBLEM: ITS ALWAYS JAMMIN' DON'T YOU WORRY...'BOUT DA INK...CUZ EVERYTHING YOU PRINT...GONNA TURN OUT WIGHT 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geevor Clayton Loco Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 The Pink Panzer 2 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geevor Clayton Loco Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 Tap on the screen 1 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted May 10, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 10, 2020 If jockeys aren't working due to the current situation, are they furlonged? Mike. 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geevor Clayton Loco Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 School work Modelling time 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Gibbo675 Posted May 10, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted May 10, 2020 ORDERING PIZZA..... CALLER: Is this Gordon's Pizza? GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza. CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry. GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month. CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza. GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir? CALLER: My usual? You know me? GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust. CALLER: OK! That’s what I want ... GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust? CALLER: What? I detest vegetable! GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir. CALLER: How the hell do you know! GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years. CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol. GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago. CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore. GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement. I paid in cash. GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement. CALLER: I have other sources of cash. GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law. CALLER: WHAT THE HELL! GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you. CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me. GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.. 5 2 1 15 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 1 hour ago, Enterprisingwestern said: If jockeys aren't working due to the current situation, are they furlonged? Mike. Possibly Furlowed... Julian 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted May 11, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 11, 2020 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 16 hours ago, Gibbo675 said: Hi Penuts, Here is the antidote to such nonsense: Gibbo. Not sure it was a good idea to post that video. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 6 hours ago, jcredfer said: Possibly Furlowed... Julian Yes. The furlong was just too far. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 Hi Folks, What do you call a man that can lift heavy things ?.....................................................Derrick. Gibbo. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold chris p bacon Posted May 11, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 11, 2020 4 hours ago, Baby Deltic said: Not sure it was a good idea to post that video. I didn't realise Dexy's Midnight Runners were so full of sh1te.. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
APOLLO Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 Brit15 3 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted May 11, 2020 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted May 11, 2020 4 hours ago, Baby Deltic said: Not sure it was a good idea to post that video. Since it runs for 54 mins I didn't waste any time on it. 1 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted May 11, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 11, 2020 Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker. It was just After Eight. They got off at Quality Street. He asked her name. 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said with a Wispa. ... 'I'm Marathon, the one with the nuts' he replied. He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her. Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple. He fondled her Jelly Babies and she rubbed his Tic Tacs. Soon they were Heart Throbs. It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight. But, 3 days later, his Sherbet Dip Dab started to itch. Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett and he had Allsorts 1 1 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Reorte Posted May 11, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 11, 2020 18 minutes ago, Colin_McLeod said: Since it runs for 54 mins I didn't waste any time on it. To be fair it's been posted in the jokes thread. 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, Colin_McLeod said: Since it runs for 54 mins I didn't waste any time on it. Hi Colin, The subject matter of the video was a sarcastic rant about much the same subject matter as the Google Pizza shop joke which @jcredfer actually voted as liking which strangely seems a somewhat contradictory action. Should you actually take the time to listen and moreover get past his style of delivery, what is said are actually some extremely important issues raised including privacy, free speech, rights of association, rights to freedom of movement, along with a general dig at all sorts of other draconian government infringements on how we used to live our lives. Please note that I have been most polite and reasonable in my reply, Gibbo. Edited May 11, 2020 by Gibbo675 Spelling 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 Simply the best Pizza Shop wind up calls 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Baby Deltic Posted May 11, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted May 11, 2020 23 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted May 11, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 11, 2020 6 hours ago, Baby Deltic said: Not sure it was a good idea to post that video. Or you re-posting it...….. 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 52 minutes ago, newbryford said: Or you re-posting it...….. That was just for illustration purposes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted May 11, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 11, 2020 1 hour ago, Baby Deltic said: Looks like her Iggy has Popped. Mike. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted May 11, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 11, 2020 7 hours ago, Gibbo675 said: Hi Colin, ...snip... Please not that I have been most polite and reasonable in my reply, Gibbo. That makes no sense to me, I suspect that you meant "note". 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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