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The Forum Jokes Thread


Colin_McLeod
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Message added by AY Mod,

Sexist, racist or religious jokes aren't funny - keep them to yourself!

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[Mods: @AY ModHope the traditional Irish word 'feck' is permitted, it's a protected term under the European Native Languages Protection Directive and means 'I don't believe it'.

If you feel the word is inappropriate below then please change it to 'Darn', although this is considered American political correctness.]

 

The Mule

Paddy & Mick saw an ad in the local Dublin Daily Newspaper and bought a mule for €100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.


The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."

Paddy & Mick replied, "Well, then just give us our money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule."

The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with an old dead mule?"

Paddy said, "We gonna raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"

Mick said, "Well shore we can! Feck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"

A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Paddy & Mick at the local market and asked. "What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"


They said, "We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do."

Mick said, "Ya know, we sold 500 tickets fer two Euros apiece and made a profit of €898!"

The farmer said, "My Lord, didn't anyone complain?"

Paddy said, "Well, the feller who won got a bit upset. So we gave him his two Euros back."

 

Edited by Damo666
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15 minutes ago, Damo666 said:

[Mods: @AY ModHope the traditional Irish word 'feck' is permitted, it's a protected term under the European Native Languages Protection Directive and means 'I don't believe it'.

If you feel the word is inappropriate below then please change it to 'Darn', although this is considered American political correctness.]

 

So there were twice as many as I thought in that episode of Father Ted with Richard Wilson? :D

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2 hours ago, Damo666 said:

[Mods: @AY ModHope the traditional Irish word 'feck' is permitted, it's a protected term under the European Native Languages Protection Directive and means 'I don't believe it'.

If you feel the word is inappropriate below then please change it to 'Darn', although this is considered American political correctness.]


 

 

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=feck

 

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3 hours ago, Colin_McLeod said:

 

Yeah. I knew that, but I was hoping that the Mods didn't, in case they thought I was trying to get past any censorship and I was trying to say the word 'fuc..... Oops, there now, you nearly made me say it.

 

Edited by Damo666
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Geraldine O’Reilly goes up to Father Murphy after his Sunday morning mass, and she's in tears.

He says, 'So what's bothering you, Geraldine my dear?'

She says, 'Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.'

The priest says, 'Oh, Geraldine, that's terrible. Tell me, Geraldine, did he have any last requests?'

She says, 'That he did, Father.'

The priest says, 'What did he ask, Geraldine?'

She says, 'He said, Please Geraldine, put down that damn gun.......'

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