RMweb Premium newbryford Posted March 21, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 21, 2020 (edited) Warning - swear words.... Do not open if easily offended Edited March 21, 2020 by newbryford 3 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted March 21, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 21, 2020 2 minutes ago, newbryford said: Warning - swear words.... Do not open if easily offended I wonder how many snowflakes we can all upset by forwarding that to them! It is a good thing I had finished my coffee before I saw this as the computer would have been covered. 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Buhar Posted March 21, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 21, 2020 I heard on Radio Scotland's Off The Ball (the pettiest and most ill-informed show on radio) that Pornhub is going to be free in France. They made the same connection. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted March 21, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 21, 2020 35 minutes ago, Buhar said: I heard on Radio Scotland's Off The Ball (the pettiest and most ill-informed show on radio) that Pornhub is going to be free in France. They made the same connection. A mate of mine appeared after weeks of quarantine. He said: "I finished PornHub. The whole thing....... I've seen it all. It is done." 1 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 16 hours ago, Buhar said: I used an old Star Trek annual. Got rid of the Klingons. Here all week. Alan Groan button - NOW! 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Reorte Posted March 22, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 22, 2020 12 hours ago, Buhar said: I heard on Radio Scotland's Off The Ball (the pettiest and most ill-informed show on radio) that Pornhub is going to be free in France. They made the same connection. Pornhub must be panic-buying servers! 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post PhilJ W Posted March 22, 2020 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted March 22, 2020 3 1 23 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post PhilJ W Posted March 22, 2020 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted March 22, 2020 2 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted March 22, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 22, 2020 2 1 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Gibbo675 Posted March 22, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted March 22, 2020 (edited) Hi Folks, Think Gloria Gaynor, At first I was afraid, I was petrified, There was no loo roll down at Aldi and I nearly cried. Oh I spent so many nights just thinking how you did me wrong, I used to wipe, And now I'm forced to just drip dry! No Anti-Bac! No bloody soap, And if you think you're buying pasta, well you've got no bloody hope! I would have bought that box of eggs, I would have rationed out my bread, If I'd known for just one second everyone would lose their head! Go on now go, walk out the door! All you bloody stockpilers, You are not welcome any more! Weren't you the ones who just bought all the sodding beans? You selfish gits! I hope you spill them down your jeans! Oh no not I, I won't panic buy! Oh as long as I have alcohol, I know I'll stay alive, Though I can't buy my usual cheese, This will not bring me to my knees, And I'll survive, I will survive, hey hey! It took all the strength I had not to fall apart, There was just apples and one carrot in my shopping cart, And I spent hours walking round just feeling sorry for myself, The empty store, with boxes strewn across the floor, And you'll see me, somebody who, Cannot buy anything she came for, and it's all down to feckin you And frickin Reg from down the road is such a selfish bloomin git Because he stockpiled all the loo roll so no-one else can have a s@*t!! ( x2) Go on now go, walk out the door! All you bloody stockpilers, You are not welcome any more! Weren't you the ones who just bought all the sodding cakes? Can't you make a crumble? Do you people not know how to bake? Oh no not I, I won't panic buy! Oh as long as I have alcohol, I know I'll stay alive, Though I can't buy my usual cheese, This will not bring me to my knees, And I'll survive, I will survive! Edited March 22, 2020 by Gibbo675 The first letter A didn't copy and paste ! 11 1 1 4 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 18 hours ago, newbryford said: A mate of mine appeared after weeks of quarantine. He said: "I finished PornHub. The whole thing....... I've seen it all. It is done." Didn't know Quagmire was left handed 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
andytrains Posted March 22, 2020 Share Posted March 22, 2020 (edited) On 09/03/2020 at 20:47, PhilJ W said: I found out where Kenny Rogers is going to be buried. Island in the Stream! Edited March 22, 2020 by andytrains 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted March 22, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 22, 2020 McDonalds has announced closure of UK stores/restaurants. Let the panic buying of cookery books commence. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted March 22, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 22, 2020 I hear tell the RSPCA are looking for foster homes for rabbits. Only vegetarians are considered. 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 9 hours ago, newbryford said: McDonalds has announced closure of UK stores/restaurants. Let the panic buying of cookery books commence. So, in a very roundabout way Covid19 could help address the obesity crisis? 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted March 23, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 23, 2020 1 hour ago, leopardml2341 said: So, in a very roundabout way Covid19 could help address the obesity crisis? On a diet of pasta? 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted March 23, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 23, 2020 12 hours ago, peanuts said: -No hugging -No kissing -No close proximity -If you absolutely have to do those things, only do them with people you know extremely well and know that you are going to have to scrub yourself all over afterwards -Motion to rename this virus from COVID-19 to CATHOLICISM-2 You mean like Methodism, where they disapprove of sex in case it leads to dancing... 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 5 hours ago, leopardml2341 said: So, in a very roundabout way Covid19 could help address the obesity crisis? Not a chance. See this post from Thursday.... On 19/03/2020 at 12:35, PhilJ W said: 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post newbryford Posted March 23, 2020 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted March 23, 2020 (edited) (Thanks to 4TC for this one) Need some DCC help - I set CV19 and now my loco has self-isolated..... Edited March 23, 2020 by newbryford 1 2 28 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 (edited) 16 hours ago, newbryford said: McDonalds has announced closure of UK stores/restaurants. Let the panic buying of cookery books commence. I'm afraid the customers only have themselves to blame for that one. According to the news earlier, they were getting told to queue up, order their food and then get out. But they were going to the seats and sitting down as normal and using it as a place to congregate and talk to their mates. So the management decided to close up. Same was happening in Nando's. Not funny, but definitely a bit of schadenfreude.... Jason Edited March 23, 2020 by Steamport Southport 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sprintex Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 Woke up this morning to find I've sprouted black feathers and a large grey beak. Think I've got Corvid-19 Paul 3 2 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted March 23, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 23, 2020 16 minutes ago, Sprintex said: Woke up this morning to find I've sprouted black feathers and a large grey beak. Think I've got Corvid-19 Paul Nothing to crow about. As long as you don't start raven 9 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted March 23, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 23, 2020 (edited) Courtesy of Olddudders elsewhere on RMW www.thepooptool.com Edited March 23, 2020 by newbryford 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 1 hour ago, newbryford said: Courtesy of Olddudders elsewhere on RMW www.thepooptool.com I just rated this "Information" - what I meant was "Too much Information." Julian 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted March 23, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 23, 2020 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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