RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted March 12, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 12, 2020 47 minutes ago, newbryford said: Apologies if we've had this one and I missed it. To all you car lovers out there ... Help needed!!!! I’ve recently bought a 1989 Toyota import. Upon arrival it won’t start, just coughs and splutters when I turn the key, as if it’s starved of air. I’ve tried various things including installing fresh toilet roll, all to no avail. Any ideas on how I could cure the Corolla virus???? People have been shot for better jokes than that! Groan button needed urgently! 1 6 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted March 12, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 12, 2020 Could have been on of these , so you got off lucky . https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toyota_Corona 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 Can we expect a massive increase of posts in the "Layout & Workbench Content" over the next few weeks and months? I would expect the prospect of "self-isolation" would be greeted with a degree of delight for most of us on this forum if it results in a minimum of seven days isolated in the loft/shed/railway room provided that the symptoms are not severe. This should result in a massive increase in productivity on the workbench or layout - as the pythons said - "always look on the bright side of life" Keep calm and build models!!! Jim 11 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted March 13, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 13, 2020 31 minutes ago, luckymucklebackit said: Can we expect a massive increase of posts in the "Layout & Workbench Content" over the next few weeks and months? I would expect the prospect of "self-isolation" would be greeted with a degree of delight for most of us on this forum if it results in a minimum of seven days isolated in the loft/shed/railway room provided that the symptoms are not severe. This should result in a massive increase in productivity on the workbench or layout - as the pythons said - "always look on the bright side of life" Keep calm and build models!!! Jim No, there will be a marked increase in traffic here and on other modelling forums as the 'keyboard modellers' get down to business. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymw Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 My wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He just ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an "a**hole." He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires. So my wife called him a "s*ithead." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. He finally finished, sneered at us and walked away. Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home. We always look for cars with Bernie Sanders stickers. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's so important at our age!! 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted March 13, 2020 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted March 13, 2020 LOL The old ones are the best. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post Budgie Posted March 13, 2020 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted March 13, 2020 Get ready for Sunday 2 2 17 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 You forgot the caption "Infamy, Infamy - theve all got it in for me" 1 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewC Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 Or the classic Canadian response: 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sem34090 Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium 5944 Posted March 13, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 13, 2020 2 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 5 minutes ago, 5944 said: His spacecraft didn't get to land on the moon, either... 1 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 2 minutes ago, F-UnitMad said: His spacecraft didn't get to land on the moon, either... It might have been better if Stanley Kubrick had directed that one !!!! 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sem34090 Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 If you see something that looks like a Thompson B1, speak to enthusiasts or text the railway authorities on 61016. We'll phot it. See it, Say it, Phot it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Jamiel Posted March 13, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 13, 2020 34 minutes ago, Gibbo675 said: It might have been better if Stanley Kubrick had directed that one !!!! That can be said of most films to be honest. 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted March 13, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 13, 2020 1 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted March 13, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 13, 2020 (edited) There was a young man called Cyrus who contracted coronavirus a sneeze and a cough and his balls fell off for replacements he's somewhat desirous. Edited March 13, 2020 by PhilJ W 1 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 My wallet is like an onion, when I open it, it makes me cry! Shopping centres are all the same. You've seen one, you've seen a mall. I like going to horse racing meetings. My favourite is Epsom, you meet all salts. 2 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted March 14, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 14, 2020 https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/woman-dies-embarrassment-handyman-spots-21690863#source=push 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 17 hours ago, Gibbo675 said: It might have been better if Stanley Kubrick had directed that one !!!! Some say he directed the Apollo 11 Landing (and didn't want to do a sequel) 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 Just now, KeithMacdonald said: Some say he directed the Apollo 11 Landing (and didn't want to do a sequel) Blimey Kieth, This is news to me, what a coincidence that I chose Stanley Kubrick as director !!! Gibbo. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 48 minutes ago, KeithMacdonald said: Some say he directed the Apollo 11 Landing (and didn't want to do a sequel) 46 minutes ago, Gibbo675 said: Blimey Kieth, This is news to me, what a coincidence that I chose Stanley Kubrick as director !!! Gibbo. Err - I hope nobody took my comment seriously? This is the Forum Jokes Thread. 3 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 1 hour ago, KeithMacdonald said: Some say he directed the Apollo 11 Landing (and didn't want to do a sequel) I haven't seen the first ten yet! I've always loved the Airfix Astronauts set where there are more astronauts than there actually were. They didn't know that when they were first made of course. Jason 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted March 14, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 14, 2020 3 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 3 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: I haven't seen the first ten yet! I've always loved the Airfix Astronauts set where there are more astronauts than there actually were. They didn't know that when they were first made of course. Jason 4 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said: Err - I hope nobody took my comment seriously? This is the Forum Jokes Thread. Hi Chaps, Sean Connery disrupted Guy Hamilton's attempt at filming a Moon Landing by running across the set in Diamonds are forever as I remember: Gibbo. 5 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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