Gibbo675 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 23 minutes ago, Dagworth said: Hi Dagworth, Nothing to say, purely visual, Gibbo. 1 1 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Dagworth Posted March 5, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 5, 2020 (edited) What’s an orchid? It’s the offspring of a killer whale Andi Edited March 5, 2020 by Dagworth 1 1 6 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 What do you call a snake with eight legs? An arachnaconda... 6 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 11 hours ago, F-UnitMad said: Reminds me of a famous Goon Show episode, when Eccles is asked why he is wearing a size 19 Army Boot on his head. "Why? Why? ..... 'cos it fits, that's why!!" Spike Milligan at his best. "Hmm, let me see, size 19. What size head have you got?" "Size nineteen..." "Major Bloodnock. What happened to this man's other boot?" "Stolen." "By whom?" "By a thief." "Are you sure it wasn't a pickpocket?" "Nonsense. Eccles never keeps his boots in his pockets." 1 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted March 6, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 6, 2020 My brother keeps buying cars. He's got 5 now. Maybe he's got car-owner virus. 10 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted March 6, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 6, 2020 39 minutes ago, Ramblin Rich said: My brother keeps buying cars. He's got 5 now. Maybe he's got car-owner virus. That deserves a seriously loud and prolonged groan. 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted March 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 6, 2020 45 minutes ago, Ramblin Rich said: My brother keeps buying cars. He's got 5 now. Maybe he's got car-owner virus. 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted March 6, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 6, 2020 27 minutes ago, BoD said: That deserves a seriously loud and prolonged groan. Exactly my response when I heard it! 1 1 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 6 hours ago, RJS1977 said: "Hmm, let me see, size 19. What size head have you got?" "Size nineteen..." "Major Bloodnock. What happened to this man's other boot?" "Stolen." "By whom?" "By a thief." "Are you sure it wasn't a pickpocket?" "Nonsense. Eccles never keeps his boots in his pockets." Thanks for the reminder of the rest of the joke - and I got the boot size wrong!! D'oh!! 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted March 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 6, 2020 Heard at work today, regarding the coronavirus: "Hand sanitizer manufacturers are rubbing there hands [with glee]." 3 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium petethemole Posted March 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 6, 2020 3 minutes ago, Ian J. said: Heard at work today, regarding the coronavirus: "Hand sanitizer manufacturers are rubbing there hands [with glee]." I find it sticks my hands together. https://www.gleegum.com/product-category/glee-gum/ 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post peanuts Posted March 6, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted March 6, 2020 Annoyed my daughter today I opened a box of Celebrations and changed all the wrappers round. She really got her Snickers in a Twix! 1 2 17 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
davefromacrossthepond Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 Why is it that some of the posts here that make me wish most for a "groan" button also make me laugh the most? Is it just me? 1 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted March 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 6, 2020 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post PhilJ W Posted March 6, 2020 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted March 6, 2020 2 19 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 Easiest job in the world is an Australian doctor. G'day! G'day! How are you doing! No worries! Next! 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted March 7, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 7, 2020 I was working behind the counter at an electrical wholesalers and a customer came in and asked if I had any transistors. "Sorry mate" I replied, "I haven't got any sisters, but I've got a brother who's a bit camp". 1 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 1 2 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted March 7, 2020 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 7, 2020 (edited) Went to the loo in the local shopping centre today. Everyone was standing around the washbasins singing. Funny place to have a birthday party, I thought. Edited March 7, 2020 by BoD 4 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted March 7, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 7, 2020 8 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 I now know what being hard up really means. I'm waiting for the sales to begin at Poundland. Why doesn't the gene pool have a lifeguard? I dream of being sober, but the bar is set too high. 2 1 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted March 8, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 8, 2020 9 hours ago, jcm@gwr said: I dream of being sober, but the bar is set too high. Surely if you're that drunk that you can't haul yourself up off the floor to get to the bar, sobering up will follow naturally, if painfully? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 Just now, Compound2632 said: Surely if you're that drunk that you can't haul yourself up off the floor to get to the bar, sobering up will follow naturally, if painfully? Methinks you might be over thinking this, do you remember the title of this thread? 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted March 8, 2020 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 8, 2020 Yes, and yes, but the joke has to work. As an act of restitution, I've gone back and clicked "funny" in relation to your other two. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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