F-UnitMad Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 2 hours ago, Chris116 said: ..... Or do you need a *demostation*?" The teacher fainted With such bad grammar and spelling, I'm not surprised... 3 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted December 4, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 4, 2019 Head of year at end of summer term assembly stated that she was looking forward to spending the holiday stroking her [feline companion]. Fortunately pupils were dismissed to lessons rather than back to tutor group, so I didn't have to deal with the consequences. 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 1 hour ago, Compound2632 said: Head of year at end of summer term assembly stated that she was looking forward to spending the holiday stroking her [feline companion]. Fortunately pupils were dismissed to lessons rather than back to tutor group, so I didn't have to deal with the consequences. Mrs Slocum lives again... steve 2 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 1 hour ago, Compound2632 said: Head of year at end of summer term assembly stated that she was looking forward to spending the holiday stroking her [feline companion]. Fortunately pupils were dismissed to lessons rather than back to tutor group, so I didn't have to deal with the consequences. I have no doubt that the Staff Room was subjected to worse scenes than the classrooms!! Regards Julian 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 23 minutes ago, steve1 said: Mrs Slocum lives again... steve All those under the age of 40, say - "who??" 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted December 5, 2019 Share Posted December 5, 2019 Pedantic point, up to the end all transactions were in Euros, why was the last on in dollars? A good lawyer would have pointed out that the Irishman had broken the agreement by not paying in the currency agreed and demanded his money back 3 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted December 7, 2019 Share Posted December 7, 2019 (edited) I've been practicing semaphore for about 6 weeks now and I must say I'm starting to flag. Edited December 7, 2019 by leopardml2341 10 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PannierTanker14 Posted December 7, 2019 Share Posted December 7, 2019 (edited) One from my archive of jokes randomly thought up one day: Q: What happens if there’s an earthquake in a Lumber Mill? A: Shiver me timbers! Edited December 7, 2019 by PannierTanker14 Good, ain’t it? 2 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted December 7, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 7, 2019 I don't know if I'm supposed to do this, but here is a link to a YouTube page which you might find funny. 3 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 On 04/12/2019 at 20:18, F-UnitMad said: All those under the age of 40, say - "who??" I always remember that if you ignored the main cast there was some incredibly good looking women lurking in the background as customers. And the women who were Young Mr Grace's carers and secretaries weren't bad either. Jason 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted December 8, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 8, 2019 3 hours ago, Steamport Southport said: I always remember that if you ignored the main cast there was some incredibly good looking women lurking in the background as customers. And the women who were Young Mr Grace's carers and secretaries weren't bad either. Jason The Young Mr Grace, was old but no fool! Of course the 'Old Mr Grace didn't get out much now', so we didn't see anything of him and his assistants. So whatever happened to these guest role actors, I mean the modern versions? British comedy TV was full of busty young women in the 1970s, as can be seen by looking on youtube, but no longer. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted December 8, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 8, 2019 10 hours ago, leopardml2341 said: I've been practicing semaphore for about 6 weeks now and I must say I'm starting to flag. Might be a signal of a bigger problem! 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted December 8, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 8, 2019 My mate went to get a tattoo of an Indian on his back. Half way through he said, "Don't forget to put a big tomahawk in his hand." The tattooist said "For goodness sake, give us a chance mate, I've only just finished his turban!" 12 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
davefromacrossthepond Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 They say that 40 is the new 30 They say that 50 is the new 40 But all I know is, the older I get, the more 9 PM is the new midnight. 3 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 8, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 8, 2019 I went bald but I still keep my comb, I can't part with it. 1 9 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post Sidecar Racer Posted December 8, 2019 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted December 8, 2019 I phoned my local radio station today. When the guy answered the phone he said, "Congratulations on being our 1st caller, all you have to do is answer the next question correctly to win our grand prize." "Wahoo!" I shouted in delight. "It's a Maths question," he said. "Feeling confident?" "I've got a degree in Maths and I teach it at my local school," I proudly replied. "Okay then, to win 2 VIP tickets to see Justin Bieber and to meet him back stage afterwards, what's 2+2?" "7," I replied. 1 5 1 19 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allegheny1600 Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 Sounds like the correct answer to me!!! 1 10 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 4 hours ago, Allegheny1600 said: Sounds like the correct answer to me!!! Not quite, although I definitely sympathise - correct answer = 4. Then go and sell them to some entuusiast, for lots of money. Regards julian 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium SM42 Posted December 8, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 8, 2019 I told a chemistry joke at work yesterday It didn't get a reaction Andy 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewC Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 4 hours ago, Sidecar Racer said: I phoned my local radio station today. When the guy answered the phone he said, "Congratulations on being our 1st caller, all you have to do is answer the next question correctly to win our grand prize." "Wahoo!" I shouted in delight. "It's a Maths question," he said. "Feeling confident?" "I've got a degree in Maths and I teach it at my local school," I proudly replied. "Okay then, to win 2 VIP tickets to see Justin Bieber and to meet him back stage afterwards, what's 2+2?" "7," I replied. A bar in Amsterdam has a tip jar with a note attached. Every time you tip, Justin Bieber dies a little. I put 3 € in last time. did buqqer all. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 Careful now. You all know what his crazy fans are like. Funnily enough not even the most famous Canadian called Justin who has done daft racist things anymore. Jason Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pH Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 Many years ago, the local hockey team were really bad (they have risen above that occasionally since then), and there were many jokes about it. Such as: A couple went to a home game. On the way from parking the car to the rink, they realised that they had left their two season tickets on the dash of the car. They rushed back and found the driver's window smashed ... and four season tickets on the dash. 1 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthBrit Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 6 hours ago, Sidecar Racer said: I phoned my local radio station today. When the guy answered the phone he said, "Congratulations on being our 1st caller, all you have to do is answer the next question correctly to win our grand prize." "Wahoo!" I shouted in delight. "It's a Maths question," he said. "Feeling confident?" "I've got a degree in Maths and I teach it at my local school," I proudly replied. "Okay then, to win 2 VIP tickets to see Justin Bieber and to meet him back stage afterwards, what's 2+2?" "7," I replied. Was Justin Bieber good? 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 Quite how good could a " Just, Imbiber" be?? Julian 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted December 8, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 8, 2019 23 hours ago, Budgie said: I don't know if I'm supposed to do this, but here is a link to a YouTube page which you might find funny. Wonderful, and the squeeze (able to identify a Pendolino) liked it as well. A trick at Canton when I was working as a goods guard there in the 70s was to get a 52, 37, and 47 together. You could play the whole of Ilkey Moor B'a t'Hat with them... 4 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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