RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted November 4, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 4, 2019 9 hours ago, jcredfer said: ..... We always look for cars with Jeremy Corbyn stickers. .... Regards Julian 37 minutes ago, 96701 said: I'd do that to vehicles with Conservative supporting stickers in. Politics. Careful now.... 7 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnarcher Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 1 hour ago, 96701 said: I'd do that to vehicles with Conservative supporting stickers in. I wouldn't have done before, but now............. 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 1 hour ago, Ramblin Rich said: Politics. Careful now.... ..... J 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold 96701 Posted November 4, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 4, 2019 1 hour ago, jcredfer said: ..... J Don't get all innocent. 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave47549 Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 (edited) . Edited October 4, 2021 by Dave47549 Removed pointless guff 3 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymw Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 Corbyn the kitten 4 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sprintex Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 14 hours ago, Dave47549 said: A right-winger, using a bus service? Congratulations, that's the first genuinely funny thing to a appear on the RMW jokes thread. Don't see why? Paul 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post Colin_McLeod Posted November 11, 2019 Author RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted November 11, 2019 Me: "Look I can now fit all my trains into just one box" SWMBO: "Stop calling our house a box" 4 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Armchair Modeller Posted November 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted November 13, 2019 11 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 (edited) A German Dwarf jumped into the river yesterday to save my little dog that was drowning. After he climbed out he handed me the little dog and said "Here is ze dog, keep him varm, dry him off , then give him der vitamin "C" and he vill be fine" I said to him "Are you a Little Vet" He replied, "A little Vet? I'm Bloody Soaking!!" Jim Edited November 13, 2019 by luckymucklebackit 2 1 11 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 10 hours ago, Armchair Modeller said: I don't understand what went wrong... they told me to give the baseboards a thorough sanding... J 3 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 4 1 9 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted November 13, 2019 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted November 13, 2019 A small boy named Arthur lived in the local village . None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him "You are driving me crazy Arthur!!!!!" One day Arthur's mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!! The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from the school & even moved to another town!!!!! 25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform...... Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful...... When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her! She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died! The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around he saw Arthur, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect his Hoover !!!!! Don't tell me you thought that Arthur became a doctor! 1 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted November 13, 2019 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted November 13, 2019 Free bungee jumps for politicians. No strings attached. 2 1 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold ikks Posted November 14, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 14, 2019 9 hours ago, Colin_McLeod said: A small boy named Arthur lived in the local village . None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him "You are driving me crazy Arthur!!!!!" One day Arthur's mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!! The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from the school & even moved to another town!!!!! 25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform...... Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful...... When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her! She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died! The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around he saw Arthur, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect his Hoover !!!!! Don't tell me you thought that Arthur became a doctor! Brilliant!! 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted November 14, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 14, 2019 Three things that should be left unsaid: 1) 2) 3) 1 1 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 On 13/11/2019 at 10:43, Armchair Modeller said: The Sandite driver clearly missed the sign 1 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 Marriage guidance counsellor to his client, “your wife says you never buy her flowers”. Guy says “I never knew she sold flowers”. steve 3 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 That one reminds me that: Bigamy is having one wife too many.........as is monogamy ! Here is the feminist version of the above: Bigamy is having one husband too many...........as is monogamy ! Gibbo. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post Budgie Posted November 15, 2019 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted November 15, 2019 1 4 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 16, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 16, 2019 A chap goes to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. He was offered an injection but refused because he hated needles. The dentist then offered him gas but again he refused because he didn't want the mask over his face. The dentist then offered him a pill which he accepted. The dentist then told him that the pill was Viagra. He then said "I didn't know Viagra was a painkiller?" The dentist said "It isn't, but it gives you something to hold onto when I pull the tooth." 1 1 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
andytrains Posted November 16, 2019 Share Posted November 16, 2019 If you boil a funny bone does it become a laughing stock. That's humorous. It’s a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house. The difference is staggering. My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?" He winked at me and said: “I’m off duty in ten minutes, meet me in the car park.” My wife says I'm getting fat, but in my defence, I’ve had a lot on my plate recently. 1 14 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted November 16, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 16, 2019 8 hours ago, PhilJ W said: A chap goes to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. He was offered an injection but refused because he hated needles. The dentist then offered him gas but again he refused because he didn't want the mask over his face. The dentist then offered him a pill which he accepted. The dentist then told him that the pill was Viagra. He then said "I didn't know Viagra was a painkiller?" The dentist said "It isn't, but it gives you something to hold onto when I pull the tooth." When that happened to me Dentist said it was to give me something to bite on. Just saying, like. 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post PhilJ W Posted November 20, 2019 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted November 20, 2019 I went in to the library and asked if they had any books on paranoia. The librarian leant over and wispered in my ear "They're behind you." 1 1 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Reorte Posted November 20, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 20, 2019 As part of safety considerations for resignalling schemes wigs are going to be put on distant signals - hair on the side of caution. 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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