davefromacrossthepond Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 4 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said: Why do Scuba Divers roll backward off the boat to enter the water? If they rolled forward they would stil lbe on the boat! OK.... Took me a while...but I finally got it! 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 (edited) I drove into a small roadside parking bay, today. I switched off, got out and locked the car, to be met by a rather aggitated old man [well he was younger than me, but he was still old]. "You can't park there", he shouted as he approached. Taken by surprise, I looked round, but the car was still there. "I told you you can't park there", he shouted........ "It's definitely parked, so don't tell me I can't do something I just did", I responded and left while his mouth was still ajar. Regards Julian Edited October 8, 2019 by jcredfer 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
APOLLO Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 On 06/10/2019 at 11:10, grahame said: Here's an oldie test to try your hand at: WOW - When I joined the North Western Gas Board back in 1969 the test was MUCH harder --------------- It was printed on cardboard !! Brit15 1 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
manna Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 G'day Folks 17 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devo63 Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 21 hours ago, APOLLO said: WOW - When I joined the North Western Gas Board back in 1969 the test was MUCH harder --------------- It was printed on cardboard !! Brit15 When I started my first post schooling job with the old South Australian Gas Company I was told that I probably would need to sit an aptitude test at the end of my first week. I worried about it all week until the day arrived and I was given a form with "TEST PAPER" in bold print across the top with under that "NOT BY TEARING IT IDIOT!" followed by the question which asked: "If you were a passenger in a natural gas powered plane and you discovered that the pilot had gone out what would you do?" Dave R. 2 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Stubby47 Posted October 9, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 9, 2019 Depends if the plane is flying or stopped on the ground... 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allegheny1600 Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 (edited) Hopefully, the plane is still on the ground or the pilot would be falling through the air? I assume this is the kind of pilot being discussed, the pilot light not being the object being referred to! In which case, one should stay seated until either the pilot came back or a new one appears. Edited October 9, 2019 by Allegheny1600 Answer question 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted October 9, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 9, 2019 Obviously a play on what 'pilot' means to a gas engineer. I would hope the co-pilot would take over... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 I've just been assaulted by one of my power tools. I was sitting there, minding my own business, when Bosch! 6 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 45 minutes ago, jcm@gwr said: I've just been assaulted by one of my power tools. I was sitting there, minding my own business, when Bosch! That's nothing, I had a Wolf!! Regards J 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted October 9, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 9, 2019 55 minutes ago, jcm@gwr said: I've just been assaulted by one of my power tools. I was sitting there, minding my own business, when Bosch! I wish I could remember that old saw about hand tools... 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 On 08/10/2019 at 15:20, davefromacrossthepond said: OK.... Took me a while...but I finally got it! To be fair it would depend upon whether their legs were over the inside or outside of the boat before performing the roll backwards, this is not indicated and so ought not be assumed. I hope that makes you feel better ! 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 Back in the day, it was done that way to prevent the mask getting the force of face on entry. Glass, shape and fit were not quite what they are today, but the idea prevails. The only problem with the reverse entry , was missing the waiting jaws of the white shark..... behiiiiind you!!! Regards Julian 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted October 9, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 9, 2019 A Roman soldier walked into a bar, raised two fingers, and said can I have five pints please. 3 1 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 39 minutes ago, BoD said: A Roman soldier walked into a bar, raised two fingers, and said can I have five pints please. Had a problem with Numeracy, as there were only four soldiers to have a drink............. Julian 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 40 minutes ago, BoD said: A Roman soldier walked into a bar, raised two fingers, and said can I have five pints please. And the barman responded in kind and said "Romani ite domum!" Jason 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 1 minute ago, Steamport Southport said: Romani ite domum They were clearly much more polite, on those far off days... Julian 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted October 10, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 10, 2019 10 hours ago, jcredfer said: Had a problem with Numeracy, as there were only four soldiers to have a drink............. Julian IV driving me up the wall! 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 10, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 10, 2019 A few years after the flood had subsided God paid a visit to Noah and asked him to build a new ark. Noah said he would do so. God then told him he wanted it to have 20 decks to which Noah agreed. God then asked him to fill it with Koi. Noah by this time was getting a bit worried about Gods sanity so he asked him why he wanted it so. God answered "I just fancied a multi-storied Carp Ark." Hat and coat on and gone.............. 1 7 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Two_sugars Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Oh Dear. . . . . therapy required, methinks. John 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 My wife and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more. 1 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 10, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 10, 2019 My housemates reckon this place is haunted but I've lived here for 274 years and I've noticed nothing unusual. 3 1 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 On 09/10/2019 at 21:30, Steamport Southport said: And the barman responded in kind and said "Romani ite domum!" And the Roman soldier made him write it out 100 times? 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post luckymucklebackit Posted October 12, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted October 12, 2019 A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey you're in here a lot. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?" The horse replies "I don't think I am." And poof. Disappears from existence. Now that joke is a reference to the philosopher Descartes and his famous line "I think, therefore I am." I could have explained that first, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse. 2 1 14 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted October 12, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 12, 2019 Now that one is just so baaaaaad! 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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