Gibbo675 Posted September 16, 2019 Share Posted September 16, 2019 6 minutes ago, leopardml2341 said: Or even; that ficus..... Spot the botanist ? 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted September 16, 2019 Share Posted September 16, 2019 Nah, spot was a dog 2 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold ian Posted September 16, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 16, 2019 45 minutes ago, jf2682 said: The eye fruit would be imaginary.... No, i is imaginary. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted September 16, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 16, 2019 15 minutes ago, ian said: No, i is imaginary. Dear me, I am imaginary. J. R-M 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post peanuts Posted September 16, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 16, 2019 18 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted September 17, 2019 Share Posted September 17, 2019 Beware of any Thai Restaurant that offers dog walking services, they spell walk differently! 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted September 17, 2019 Share Posted September 17, 2019 2 minutes ago, jf2682 said: It's ok though, because nobody woks alone.... That would be a good name for a Liverpool Takeaway "You'll Never Wok Alone" 3 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted September 17, 2019 Share Posted September 17, 2019 15 hours ago, peanuts said: Did you hear about the Frenchman who died as a result of thanking someone? It was a merci killing! 1 6 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted September 17, 2019 Share Posted September 17, 2019 I once had a French dwarf thank me profusely, make me thankful for small mercis 6 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted September 17, 2019 Share Posted September 17, 2019 10 minutes ago, luckymucklebackit said: I once had a French dwarf thank me profusely, make me thankful for small mercis That's almost as bad as my dwarf joke- What do you call a dwarf magistrate? One of those little things sent to try us. 3 2 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Stubby47 Posted September 17, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 17, 2019 Never get a stupid dwarf as a mate - it's not big and it's not clever... 2 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted September 17, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 17, 2019 1 hour ago, jcm@gwr said: Did you hear about the Frenchman who died as a result of thanking someone? It was a merci killing! Not speaking to an English person then? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted September 17, 2019 Share Posted September 17, 2019 One parrot can do amazing things, but not as many as toucan. 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted September 17, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 17, 2019 Wall Street Shock Wurlitzer & Xero Set to merge Object - Reproductive Organs 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stanley Melrose Posted September 17, 2019 Share Posted September 17, 2019 But there is/was a Liverpool Driving School rejoicing in the name "El Passo". Stan 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted September 17, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 17, 2019 I'm sure I mentioned this before, there was a driving school in Birmingham called Absolute. Fine in principle, but on the roof sign was the regulation 'L'. So the from the back it read 'Absolute L '.... 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
great central Posted September 17, 2019 Share Posted September 17, 2019 48 minutes ago, Ramblin Rich said: I'm sure I mentioned this before, there was a driving school in Birmingham called Absolute. Fine in principle, but on the roof sign was the regulation 'L'. So the from the back it read 'Absolute L '.... I've posted this before somewhere, still a giggle. There was also an El Passo driving school in Nottingham. 1 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
choo1choo Posted September 17, 2019 Share Posted September 17, 2019 2 hours ago, Stanley Melrose said: But there is/was a Liverpool Driving School rejoicing in the name "El Passo". Stan There's one floating around the Llanelli area too......did he move across the border? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert Stokes Posted September 17, 2019 Share Posted September 17, 2019 Three young red-indian women went to the tribe's witch doctor. They said, "Oh wise one, we have all been married for a year but there is no sign of a baby on the way. What should we do?" He said to the first one, "Get your husband to kill a mountain lion and put its skin on the floor of your tepee. Within a year you will have a baby" To the second he said, "Get your husband to kill a bison and put its skin on the floor of your tepee. Within a year you will have a baby." To the third he said, "Get your husband to kill a hippopotamus and put its skin on the floor of your tepee. Within a year you will have a baby." (All right there are no hippos in America but go with it.) A year later all three returned to the witch doctor. The first showed him a baby boy, the send a baby girl, and the third showed him twins, a boy and a girl. The third woman then says to him, "Oh wise one, we are all grateful for what has happened but why have I got twins. He replied, "Ah, big chief Pythagoras, him say ,'the squaw on the hyppapotamuse is the sum of the squaws on the other two hides.' " 2 1 9 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted September 18, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 18, 2019 (edited) A guy wakes up in hospital bandaged from head to foot after a bad accident. The doctor then comes up and tells him "Sorry but your male appendage was severed in the accident and the paramedics couldn't find it. But the good news is you are going to get compensation of £9,000 and we can reconstruct your appendage for £1,000 an inch." The doctor then said "If you had a 9 inch and settled for a 5 inch one your wife might be disappointed and if you decide on a 9 inch in place of a 5 inch one you might give your wife a shock. I see you've been married 30 years so you'd better talk it over with your wife." A few days later the doctor sees him again and asks if he discussed it with his wife he then asked what was the decision. The guy answered "We're getting a new kitchen." Edited September 18, 2019 by PhilJ W Overcoming censorship. 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
graeme3300 Posted September 18, 2019 Share Posted September 18, 2019 Did you hear that Police investigating the theft of the gold toilet from Blenheim Palace are having trouble? They've got nothing to go on. 1 8 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 A pirate goes to the doctor and says, "I have moles on me back, aaarrrghh." The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign." Pirate: "Count again, I think there be ten!" 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post APOLLO Posted September 19, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 19, 2019 Brit15 5 7 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted September 19, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 19, 2019 I was addicted to the Hokey-Cokey, then I turned myself around. 2 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
davefromacrossthepond Posted September 19, 2019 Share Posted September 19, 2019 6 hours ago, APOLLO said: Brit15 So you Brits are reusing our stamps from Nov. 2016? 3 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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