bluebottle Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 ...He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.' ... (repeat) This old guy sounds like a shoo-in for the next leader of the free world... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted February 13, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 13, 2018 This old guy sounds like a shoo-in for the next leader of the free world... Not at all, the old guy persuaded her to offer a feel. The current POTUS took advantage of younger women, with his power & wealth. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Reorte Posted February 13, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 13, 2018 There are people everywhere who believe the Earth is flat. It's a global issue. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted February 13, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 13, 2018 The Flat Earth Society has members all over the globe. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Stubby47 Posted February 13, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted February 13, 2018 The Flat Earth Society has members in all 4 corners of the globe... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted February 13, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 13, 2018 My pet mouse Elvis died today... He was caught in a trap. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardml2341 Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 Groan! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthBrit Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 When my grandson was born he was named Alan. Now he has started walking we have changed his name to Egon. —— ——————————- Now we ask —————— ————————- “Where’s Egon.” 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
EHertsGER Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 (edited) Are there any wholly new jokes? Or are they all variants on the very first one told? “I say, I say, I say: my dog’s got no nose”“Really? How does he smell...?” “Bloody awful” Edited February 15, 2018 by EHertsGER Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted February 15, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted February 15, 2018 “I say, I say, I say: my dog’s got no nose” “Really? How does he smell...?” “Bloody awful” That is a really old joke. It dates back to Roman times: Canis meus nasum non habet. Quomodo olfacit? Male. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 (edited) That is a really old joke. It dates back to Roman times: Canis meus nasum non habet. Quomodo olfacit? Male. Only works if the Latin word for both types of smell is the same. Unfortunately the word for other type of smell in Latin is Fragrantia... Actually I think you will find I am the second most pedantic person you know... Edited February 15, 2018 by Titan 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted February 15, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted February 15, 2018 (edited) Only works if the Latin word for both types of smell is the same. Unfortunately the word for other type of smell in Latin is Fragrantia... Fine. Except that in addition to "to perceive by the odour emitted, to smell", "olfacere" also means "to give off an odour, to smell" according to Osb. Glouc. Deriv. 400., see ΛΟΓΕΙΟΝ. It's not classical Latin, but rather Late Latin. Actually I think you will find I am the second most pedantic person you know... Who's the most pedantic? Edited February 15, 2018 by Budgie 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 Fine. Except that in addition to "to perceive by the odour emitted, to smell", "olfacere" also means "to give off an odour, to smell" according to Osb. Glouc. Deriv. 400., see ΛΟΓΕΙΟΝ. It's not classical Latin, but rather Late Latin. Who's the most pedantic? Ah yes, I am more of a classic person myself. As for the most pedantic? Have a look on this forum, take your pick! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Dagworth Posted February 15, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted February 15, 2018 Ah yes, I am more of a classic person myself. As for the most pedantic? Have a look on this forum, take your pick! Sorry, my pick got stolen, I've only got a shovel now (I guess someone else took my pick?) A Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted February 16, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted February 16, 2018 take your pick! I remember that on the telly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted February 16, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 16, 2018 I remember that on the telly. My dad took part in that program and won the treasure chest, £50 which was a lot of money in 1958. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pacific231G Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 (edited) Only works if the Latin word for both types of smell is the same. Unfortunately the word for other type of smell in Latin is Fragrantia... Actually I think you will find I am the second most pedantic person you know... Hmm. The most pedantic people I ever knew were in the world of Latin (as opposed to the Latin world) Compared with them the most obsessive rivet counters were at around "if it's got the right number of wheels it's near enough" on the International Pedantry Scale (By the way, does anyone happen to know the current unit for pedantry, I've just had to change from millibars to hectopascals so wondered if the pedantry unit had also changed) Edited February 16, 2018 by Pacific231G Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 By the way, does anyone happen to know the current unit for pedantry, I've just had to change from millibars to hectopascals so wondered if the pedantry unit had also changed I think you will find it has evolved, not changed. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BWsTrains Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 Are there any wholly new jokes? Or are they all variants on the very first one told? Try page 147 here of " Hornby's financial updates to the Stock Market"http://www.rmweb.co.uk/community/index.php?/topic/108082-hornbys-financial-updates-to-the-stock-market/page-147 Not a single post within 4 Light Years of the supposed topic. Now that's a joke. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted February 18, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 18, 2018 Hmm. The most pedantic people I ever knew were in the world of Latin (as opposed to the Latin world) Which reminds me... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbI-fDzUJXI Cheers, Mick 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted February 18, 2018 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 18, 2018 (By the way, does anyone happen to know the current unit for pedantry, I've just had to change from millibars to hectopascals so wondered if the pedantry unit had also changed) I supposed the old unit might be the foot but the pedant in me objected that that's based on a false etymology. Rivet counting is easier to deal with. If the provocation produced by a rivet counter is proportional to the rate at which the rivets are being counted, then any of the units used for stochastic count rates can be commandeered, becquerel for instance. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
geoffers Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Saw this on a card the other day-: Women in front of new computer;- "My new computer needs a password" man peering over her shoulder;- "how about my willy" Woman types in password and then says;- "Computer says it is too short" It's the way you tell 'em as the late Frank Carson would say. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted February 18, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted February 18, 2018 It might be the way you tell 'em, but that's certainly not the way you should punctuate 'em. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheesysmith Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 My sonn was asking the other half about chineese years, and it turned into what year were everyone. Me, I`m a rat My son was year of the ox, youngest daughters year of the tiger, eldest (teenage) daughter a rooster And my other half was year of the dog. To witch I blurted out "a bitch, what a surprise" Thinking might be cold shoulder in bed tonight. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted February 18, 2018 RMweb Gold Share Posted February 18, 2018 (edited) Lice have developed a new super resistant strain. It's got scientists scratching their heads. Edited February 18, 2018 by BoD Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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